#on his being as well as everything else. so THAT is the 'monster' that mordred thinks he is. and sometimes he thinks he's lonely and doesn'

[meowww-ffxiv]

Meowdred: I feel like this short hair makes me look younger.

Theodore, not bothering to lift his book from his face where he's pretending to be passed out on the couch: You need not lie to me, a fellow Echo possessor. You keep your hair that way because it covers your glowing eye that scares children.

Meowdred: WELL and it makes me look younger.

Theodore: No amount of hairstyle, beauty products, or perfume can make you look "younger" when you dress entirely in black and gold, carry an evil-looking tome OR an evil-looking bone staff OR both, usually both. And also you radiate the vibes of an old man feeling every single years of the three decades of war and loss. Which is what you are.

Meowdred: :((((

Theodore: Why this sudden pivot to try and look a way you are not, Mordred? You never cared before.

Meowdred: B

Meowdred: Because the world's a better place now and I'd like to fit into the brighter part of it more easily? Is that so wrong, to want to cover up all the things in me that will never heal, so I can stand beside the ones who'd moved on and don't look out of place?

Theodore: ...So that is why you are only ever in the Brume in Ishgard, the poorest districts of Ul'dah, and the far-flung quarters of Ala Mhigo? They felt more like your people?

Meowdred: That, and there are children born and living now in all those places where the occupation, the Calamity, the losses and bloodshed, were a bad dream or they had never known it at all. They deserve better than a shambling reminder of how terrible it was. Which is what I am.

Theodore: You know that is not true.

Meowdred:

Meowdred: Damn. You're right. Hmmm. But I do want to cover up this eye. It does scare kids.

Theodore: You do realize that for every frightened child, two more think you are the most amazing badass mage in the whole world. Or so I had been told by no less than 17 orphans in the Empyrium. Children aren't a monolith, Mordred. They are us, only smaller and more honest.

Meowdred: ;_; YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL PUT MY EYE ON BLAST. FOR MY FANS.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

For the prompt "columbus rolls the worst joint ever witnessed by man god and demon and is immediately executed for it" Marijuana was supposed to be illegal. There were strict policy guidelines in the Chaldean code of conduct that outlined the punishments for owning and using illegal substances within Chaldea, with an entire paragraph specifically for outlining the punishments for marijuana. But dealing with the incineration of humanity kind of makes those things take a back seat and make people look for any sort of refuge from the absurdity of their lives. One staff member's smuggled stash was soon cloned, planted, grown, and became a thriving little drug operation for the entirety of the Grand Order – though with the slowly coming inspection of Chaldea, they'd have to be removed, the evidence destroyed. Thankfully, it was very hard to find out someone grew pot if all the pot had gone up in smoke, and why not enjoy that smoke while you were at it? One by one, the plants were harvested, the yields rationed, with everyone who partook, staff or Servant, knowing the final date to blaze it all. Of course, with that looming deadline, a few final stragglers decided they wanted in. “Aaahaha, of course I want to try the herb of hashish! Never got a chance, too busy being a daring explorer and all!” Columbus stood in the doorway, convinced he was cutting an impressive figure and that none of the others in the room knew he aimed to steal it all and sell it back for a tidy profit. Control the goods, and you become king, whether those goods are spices, drugs, or slaves. He knew that well. The various staffers and Servants stared up at him, eyes varying degrees of bloodshot, as they considered whether it was wise to let one of the worst monsters humanity has created partake. Eventually, however, one voice spoke up for the group. “Well, mayhaps it'll mellow you out a little, Columbus!” Mozart's interjection shifted into a good-natured laugh, as he patted the ground next to him, inviting Columbus into the circle. “Come on, roll us up a joint, it's not that hard.” Columbus grinned. Perfect. Step one, he was in. Now he just had to get them stoned enough to not notice as he swiped everything else – and that started by making the perfect canabis delivery device. And of course Mozart would be correct in his assessment – how hard could it be to wrap paper around leaves? ~~~ The circle was silent, staring at the disaster that Columbus held proudly in his hand. Mordred, never one for tact, was the first to break the silence. “The actual fuck is that?” he said, red-tinged eyes fixed on the object pretending to be a joint. “... It's... a hashish... cigar?” said Columbus, confusion plain on his face and in his voice. “... You wasted half a gram on that!” Ryougi Shiki shot in next, her hands flexing in what was clearly growing rage, as her eyes snapped from the malformed disastrous mistake that rested on Columbus's palm up to the traitor's eyes. “More is better, right?” Columbus felt a twinge of panic begin to set in. What was going on? Why were they- “When it's in the joint, yes! You picked so much out and threw it away!” Jeanne Alter, the fiery Avenger, had her flagpole in hand and a menacing look in her eye. “But it was so sticky!” “You threw out the sticky parts? Those are the best parts!” Voices were rising in rage, as Columbus looked around in a growing panic. “We can't grow any more with the inspection coming!” “Every bud counts!” “Goddamn idiot, hated you anyways.” “Fuck, let's just-” There was motion, sharp violent shouts, and Columbus felt something... no, some things... slam into his body. Thud-thud-thud. Searing white-hot pain lanced through him as he realized he'd been impaled from two different directions, the cacophony of shouts crystallizing in retrospect into words. “Gae Bolg!” “Clarent Blood Arthur!” “La Grondement du Haine!” He felt every cell of his body alight as he was engulfed in fire, the curse of the demonic spear weaving through him from within as he was burned from without, the final thing he ever saw being Ryougi Shiki's eyes as they flashed a brilliant, violent blue, a knife in hand, as she darted towards him. There was a feeling of something passing through his neck, and it all, at last, mercifully went black. ~~~ Columbus's burning body dissolved into sparks, his core destroyed from the volley of Noble Phantasms that felled him. The assembled servants picked up his disaster of a joint, sadness reaching even Jeanne Alter's eyes. Mozart, carefully, reached up, claiming the misshapen monstrosity, before unwrapping it, passing the ground flower within to another paper, and adding just a little more to bulk it back up, before wrapping himself a new one and giving it a light. He inhaled, held the smoke, and breathed out. “Well, glad that worked out.”

[liminalpsych]

Development of Arthur - Geoffrey of Monmouth

1138 - Historia regum Britanniae and 1150 - Vita Merlini, by Geoffrey of Monmouth

Physical appearance

In battle, wore "a golden helmet with the carved likeness of a dragon upon the crest"

Carried the shield Pridwen, "which had the image of blessed Mary, Mother of God, painted upon it, keeping him always mindful of her"

Wielded Caliburn, "greatest of swords, which had been made in the isle of Avalon"

In his right hand during battle, carried the spear known as Ron, "long and broad and keen in warfare"

Personality

At 15 years old, described as "a youth of outstanding virtue and largesse. His innate goodness made him exhibit such grace that he was beloved by all the people". Possessed "both great courage and generosity".

"Such an outstanding man that no one could match him in virtue" according to Merlin

Takes counsel from advisors and vassals, listens to them, takes their advice into consideration.

Willing to engage in mercy if asked sufficiently, but more inclined to mercilessness as a default, and swift to punish treachery. E.g.: let the surrendering Saxons go back to Germany, then hanged all the Saxon hostages when the Saxons turned back around and attacked the Briton countryside. E.g.: had made the decision to let none of the Picts and Scots live, but the bishops and clergy of those lands approached him and begged for mercy, such that "pity finally moved him to tears".

Fierce fighter and battle-leader, even at a young age, often even rushing into the front lines to inspire and rally the troops and successfully killing… lots of men. (470, in one of his first campaigns.)

Loyal and protective of his vassals.

Rejoiced at being universally feared after his conquests, and desired to "submit all Europe to his rule", so he conquered Norway, Denmark, and Gaul (over the course of a 9-year campaign). Eventually also fought and defeated the forces of Rome (though didn't get to conquer all of Rome due to Mordred interrupting by taking over Britain).

Unhesitant to accept single combat, and would even seek out challenges (for example, fighting two different giants in single combat and winning). "For King Arthur possessed such strength and courage that he scoffed at bringing the entire army against such monsters. He wanted to impress his men by vanquishing the creature himself" and so would do stuff like get Bedivere and Kay to steal away with him so he can fight a giant in single combat

Eloquent and well-spoken, able to give speeches "bedecked with a truly Ciceronian eloquence".

Intelligent and well-educated.

Had a portentous dream (about a dragon and bear fighting), not very good at interpreting it though.

Reasonably devout Christian.

Family

Wife: Guinevere, "from a noble Roman family", who had been brought up in the household of Duke Cador of Cornwall and "surpassed all the other women of the isle in beauty."

Mother: Igerna, married to Gorlois the duke of Cornwall when Arthur was conceived. Her "beauty surpassed that of all the other women of Britain".

Father: Uther Pendragon, who was disguised as Gorlois when Arthur was conceived, then later married Igerna after Gorlois' death. Poisoned to death by the Saxons after defeating them. Buried in Stonehenge (the "Ring of Giants") next to his brother Aurelius.

Sister: Anna, "whose sons and grandsons will later rule the kingdom of Britain" per Merlin's prophecy. Married Loth of Lothian, lord of Leis, "a most experienced soldier, wise and mature".

Another sister? Possibly a half-sister from Igerna and Gorlois? Unclear and unnamed, but married Budicus the king of the Armorican Britons over in what's now part of France.

Nephew: Hoel, king of the Armorican Britons. Arthur and Hoel were very fond of one another, "united by love and a common blood", and Hoel was a strong ally. Arthur dropped everything to rally to his rescue when he was ill and besieged, and they showed affection to each other more than Arthur is described as doing with anyone else in Geoffrey's narrative. (I get the sense based on the timeline and interactions that they're of similar ages, but I don't have evidence of that.)

Nephew: Gawain, son of Loth of Lothian and Arthur's sister Anna.

Nephew: Mordred, son of Loth of Lothian and Arthur's sister Anna.

Brother-in-law: Loth of Lothian, Earl of Lothian and King of Norway

Paternal uncle: Constans, eldest brother of Uther, prior king of Britain before Vortigern and Vortimer, former monk, puppet of Vortigern, deceased before Arthur's birth.

Paternal uncle: Aurelius Ambrosius, older brother of Uther, prior king of Britain after Vortigern and before Uther, deceased before Arthur's birth.

Grandfather: Constantine, king of Britain before Constans, deceased before Arthur's birth

Grandmother: Unnamed woman from a noble family "who Guithelin had personally raised"

Timeline

Arthur's birth prophesied by Merlin to Uther, along with the birth of his sister Anna.

Conceived at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall when Uther lay with Igerna while disguised by Merlin as her husband Gorlois, who he was at war with at the time (because he wanted Igerna).

Uther and Igerna marry shortly thereafter, as Gorlois died in battle while Uther and Igerna were conceiving Arthur. They "lived together as equals bound by mutual affection".

Arthur's sister Anna is born to Uther and Igerna.

Uther becomes ill and places Loth of Lothian in charge of the armies to fight the invading Saxons. Uther is carried in a litter to command the battle when Loth is unable to command the Britons successfully, manages to mostly succeed until the Saxons assassinate him by poisoning a spring.

The leaders of the various provinces of Britain ask Archbishop Dubricius of Caerleon to crown 15-year-old Arthur as king.

Arthur "upheld the ancient custom" of gift-giving to soldiers who joined him until he ran began to run out of gifts, so then he attacked the Saxons to distribute their riches among his men.

Drove out the Saxons, then also the Picts, Scots, and Irish from Britain (the Britain of the time, which is now Wales and some of England).

Rebuilt the churches that the Saxons had destroyed.

Married Guinevere.

Subdued Ireland and Iceland, and then the kings of Gotland and Orkney surrendered to him before they could get invaded.

12 years of peace, during which Arthur invited "all the bravest men from the farflung reaches of his domain to join his household," and cultivated "such refinement in his court so that people far and wide sought to emulate it," and "every young nobleman was tempted to hang himself unless he could dress or bear arms like the knights of King Arthur's court".

Possibly around this time is when Arthur fights the giant Retho atop Mount Aravius, when Retho challenges him to single combat to add to Retho's kingly beard collection? (Retho was collecting beards of kings to make a fur coat.) Timeline is unclear here.

Conquers Norway and Denmark. Establishes Loth as king.

Spends 9 years conquering Gaul, holds court at Paris, gives Neudtria (Normandy) to Bedivere and gives the province of Anjou to Kay.

Big fancy feast/tournament/celebration at Caerlon, is ceremoniously bestowed the royal crown. Rome sends a delegation to threaten Britain, tell Arthur to come to Rome in August, and that Britain still owes Rome tribute. The Britons are outraged, Arthur tells Rome they should give Britain tribute instead.

Rome advances towards Britain. Arthur leaves Britain under custodianship of Mordred and Guinevere and invades Rome.

Arthur sneaks off with Bedivere and Kay to fight and kill an unnamed giant in single combat while waiting in Gaul for the rest of his armies to arrive.

The Britons defeat the Roman forces somewhere between Paris and Rome. Arthur winters in the Allobroges, continuing to conquer the area, and wants to cross the mountains to invade Rome when summer comes.

Arthur receives word that Mordred has "proven himself to be a tyrant and a traitor", seized the throne of Britain, and "now took his wicked pleasure with Guinevere, who had broken her marriage vows".

Arthur returns to Britain and wages war against Mordred, who's allied with the Scots, Picts, Irish, and Saxons. Guinevere joins the nuns at a church in Caerleon when hearing of Arthur's arrival and victories.

~542 C.E.: Battle of Camlann. Mordred is killed Arthur is carried off by Merlin, Barinthus, and maybe others to Avalon to be healed by Morgen. Constantine, son of Duke Cador of Cornwall, becomes king.

Other notes

"The Boar of Cornwall" in Merlin's prophecies refers to Arthur.

Most described court events were at Tintagel or Caerleon.

Merlin does not show up in Arthur's story after his conception. In "The Life of Merlin", Merlin implies that he helped bring Arthur's body to Avalon as well.

[stellarhistoria]

hold on i wanna rant about the team for a second so forgive me for this

ace lancealot cytos: aryin's adoptive brother and the only person aryin has ever known who would have ever fit the true name of the cytos' if there ever was a person. headstrong and fierce, determined and brave, always helping those in need but never sacrificing himself and his own well being to do so (though one would argue that getting constantly in danger would be self sacrificing). one time, aryin joked that, if he was born into a family, would they have been twins? cayde grimaced at the thought; zee looked as if it caused him physical damage. canonically has (had?) a psychic link with aryin prior to the player disappearing.

cayde pendraco: aryin's best friend and closest confidante, the very definition of "you've seen me at my worst; you chose to stay". one of the people who encouraged aryin to step away from the clutches of his father's desires and wishes for him during the first three years away from the rest of the group, cayde could ask aryin to do anything and aryin wouldn't blink. no hesitation. they're also both ex knights, which makes them bond more.

juliet herald: ( over at @stellafortunae ) aryin's childhood friend and girlfriend of ace. known for being headstrong and brash, juliet is ofttimes uncertain of the people who show her gentleness, believing her surroundings as unsteady as the shifting sands. aryin can't say that she's unwarranted though. he was where she was, once. before rose. before peter. daughter of the most powerful man in existence.

jetsam ryder: ( over at @constellaeinfinitum ) aryin's philosophical debate partner and someone who aryin has become quite fond of in the past few years of knowing them. an ex privateer turned pirate turned magic user turned chosen hero, jetsam is not someone who rushes headfirst into danger, often found questioning why things are the way they are, and grabbing everyone else by their collars to keep them safe. and if all else can't be done - they're usually on the frontlines with aryin, regardless of their, ah, unfortunate health pool. may or may not be questioning if what they feel for some party members is friendship or true love.

gwennen gawain: ( over at @zodiac--muses ) aryin's girlfriend and the long lost princess, and sole survivor, of the gawain family lineage. aryin has always been a hopeless romantic, but he never believed he would fall so hard and so fast for gwennen gawain, even with all that he knows about her and her family. and oh, do the history books not do her endless beauty justice. he doesn't believe he deserves her, and some days he questions how he managed to get her to fall in love with a monster like him. but if a princess can fall in love with a monster, then this monster will rend the world to keep her safe.

addam druei: aryin's new boyfriend and the recently put back together, only son of mordred druei (i know, i know, i GET IT). aryin had made a half-joke ( half serious comment ) to quell the nervous man's energy to something pleasant about being a polycule, and perhaps aryin wasn't against it. but... last time, last time... they weren't strong enough. what if they aren't, again? what if they can't protect him, OR HER? addam is determined to make that smile aryin wears a real one, because he knows it isn't.

teachers under the cut:

zee genarel: described simply as a strawberry blonde twink of a femboy, zee is aryin's magic teacher, who taught them through their days of being an uncomfortable druid and cleric, and then again as they navigated the new classwork of wizardry with absolute glee in his temperament. however, to call zee a good man would be incorrect. zee is confident, selfish, and goal - oriented. this does not make him a bad person, but he is not good at handling those who have lost everything, time and time again. aryin respects him. that is all.

vivian ashwind: ( seen only in anonymous asks ) a twin sister without her twin brother, vivian highwind is an unwitting, but not unwilling mentor for the group of keykids trying to find what they fight for in this raging war. she has been around a long time, and while she herself is a wanted woman, she is not one to go down without a fight. she is a good woman, abrasive as she may be. aryin does not know if he can call her a friend, let alone a teacher, not after...

grey ashlynn: deceased. a gunslinging spitfire of a man who went through a deep effort to keep these kids happy and safe through any means necessary, even if it meant putting himself in danger time and time again. in many aspects, he was their honorary group dad, but none of them wanted to say it. if they said it, that would mean he could leave them. turns out, they just needed to know it for him to be attacked, to be killed, to be taken from them. aryin misses him. aryin misses his dad.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The former God of Magic resents The Mother for sticking him on Earth, and plans on causing as much havoc as he can to punish Her;

Version 2, Dark!Merlin

INTRO

(Version 1, Good!Merlin)

TW: A lot of emotional manipulation, a little violence, a lot of angst.

~

“You’re late.”

The woman’s well practiced blank mask falls into a scowl as she stares at Merlin with mistrust:

“Well, perhaps I was putting off coming to see you, no matter how necessary it is.”

The gang can see the bob of Merlin’s head as he lets out a low chuckle, and they have to stop themselves from recoiling; they’d never heard a noise like that from their young friend before, it sounded almost... cruel.

He lifts a hand to cover his heart as he says in faux offense:

“You wound me, sister. You didn’t want to see your favourite sibling?”

Everyone frowns in confusion, Merlin doesn’t have... siblings. That’s not even mentioning the fact that this woman barely seems human.

The woman doesn’t hide her slight disgust, taking a step back from Merlin and letting out a harsh breath:

“I came here to tell you that you need to hurry up. Time is running out.”

Merlin chuckles again, turning to the side and taking a few short paces, his hands held leisurely behind his back. The amusement on his face is disturbing, and Arthur gulps, not noticing the way Mordred is growing paler and paler by the second. Merlin doesn’t turn to look at the woman as he speaks, and his smirk stretches wider:

“But I’m having so much fun, Ava!”

The woman, Ava, huffs again, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. If the gang weren’t so semi-sure that Merlin wasn’t dangerous, they’d think she looked scared:

“Mother sent you here to complete a task. Get it done, and you can come home. Isn’t that what you want? To come home?”

Merlin’s smirk falls, and the snarl that the gang briefly see on his face before he whips around to face Ava takes their breath away. They barely notice the thunder, snapping in the distance in time with Merlin’s anger:

“Mother’s the one keeping me here in the first place. She could accept me back any time.”

Ava takes another step back, and Merlin tilts his head ever so slightly at the movement, but waits for her to speak:

“As punishment for your cruelty. She isn’t happy, you’re making a mess of things.”

Merlin chuckles again, tilting his head even further, and his words have an immediate chilling effect on the group hiding in the bushes:

“Well, if she insists on sending the God of Chaos to fix a problem, perhaps she should expect a little mess. Plus, I’m having more fun here than I’ve had in centuries. These humans... so gullible.-”

Ava shakes her head mournfully, but before she can say anything, Merlin continues, now pacing calmly around the clearing, waving his hands and grinning in his excitement:

“-I mean, they’re just so... easy. To play with, to manipulate. You know they all trust me? They all come running to naïve, innocent, loving little Merlin, spilling all their secrets as they go. Did you know, the drunkard is the son of a noble? “Fuck nobility” my arse, he is nobility.-”

Gwaine clenches his jaw and looks to the floor, ignoring the stares of Arthur and Leon, but before anything can be muttered, Merlin continues, listing their greatest secrets off on his fingers:

“-The gentle giant is terrified that someone’s going to find out that his preferences lie with men, which is ridiculous considering the way he stares at the aforementioned drunkard when he thinks no one but little old me is watching. The blacksmith, even years on, is terrified that his whore sister will never forgive him for... something or other, I wasn’t really paying attention. Camelot’s first, The King’s most trusted, has a debilitating fear of heights, and oh if it isn’t just hilarious to watch when he has to patrol the city walls. And then, there’s the-”

Ava rolls her mournful eyes and interrupts him:

“Your point, Em?”

Merlin laughs, fully and from the belly, but the sound doesn’t bring the gang joy like it normally does:

“My point, is that I’ve got these idiots wrapped around my finger. Mortals: the universe’s most fun toy. I haven’t even gotten to half of them yet. There’s the noble one, who thinks he holds my trust, the Druid boy, whose only redeeming feature is that he’s destined to kill the King Prat one day; believe me, if it weren’t for that I’d have killed the annoying little twerp years ago. Then there’s the King Prat’s magical sister, who is full of such terror. I play with her dreams some nights, force visions of pyres and hatred and destruction to play over and over in her mind. It’s rather amusing, watching her thrash and sweat and whimper in her sleep.-”

Arthur’s head had whipped around to Morgana when Merlin had mentioned her, but the tears streaming down her face and the way her hand was clamped tightly over her mouth stripped his anger from him. Which left him with no distraction, no way to ignore the simple fact of what was happening right now. Merlin was... not what they thought. He was powerful, he was using them. He was playing with them like puppets and pulling their strings this way and that, watching as they could do nothing but follow. Arthur didn’t know what to think, and he definitely didn’t notice the tears on his own cheeks.

Mordred was pale to the point of looking like he was about to faint and Lancelot had a deep frown on his face, tears in his eyes but not quite falling, not yet. This was... a misunderstanding. He... he knows Merlin, this is a trick, or a trap, he’ll explain later and everything will be just fine. He just has to... to trust him. Everything will be fine.

Gwaine keeps his gaze on the floor. A small part of him was feeling a little prideful that Percival liked him back, but the rest of him... had no room for anything but grief. He had suspected that Merlin had magic, but this was something else, this was... a whole new person. Did he ever really know Merlin? Did any of them? 

Elyan and Gwen sat pressed together tightly, though Gwen had one hand on Morgana’s shaking back, and her other was reaching around Elyan, gripping Leon’s shoulder tightly. Leon was just staring blankly at the scene in front of him, though anyone that knew him well enough would be able to see the tight clench of his jaw and the anger (and grief) in his eyes.

Ava interrupted Merlin’s gleeful ranting, the tears in her eyes a little more prominent as she took on a slightly more desperate tone:

“Please, Em, just... stop. They’re important, they have destinies, you can not destroy them or push them too far; this is cruel, even for you. This... you never used to be like this.”

Merlin turns around, facing away from his sister and giving the hidden group full view of his rage-filled face. His voice is quiet and clipped and angry as he asks:

“Oh?”

Another roll of thunder echoes through the clearing, closer this time, and fat droplets of rain fall harshly from the sky, mixing with the tears on everyone’s face. Ava sighs, tears overflowing as she gulps before answering, her voice shaking slightly as she takes a step towards Merlin:

“You’re meant to be the God of Magic, not Chaos. You were so... beautiful, balanced. You saw wonder in everything, every little spark of magic and every single prayer put a smile on your face. You loved humanity even more than Mother did. Now look at you, you’re tormenting them, torturing them. This isn’t you, Em, please. Help them, and things can go back to the way they were, help them and you can come home.”

The anger on Merlin’s face had only grown as she spoke, and each individual hidden in the bushes had to make a concerted effort to stop themselves from bolting. None of them had felt terror like it, and the fact that it was Merlin they were all so scared of... well, it didn’t help.

Lightening streaks across the sky and wind howls violently through the forest, calming only when Merlin shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, straightening his back and smirking slightly before he replies, still not turning around to face his sister:

“You’re right. I loved humanity, I was desperate to see them succeed. And then they butchered me. I gave them this universe to frolic in, and in return they call me a monster, a beast, they call me evil, they make nightmares out of me. I still listen to every little prayer, and do you know what I hear? I hear my people, my wonderful little creations, my creatures of magic, begging for mercy, begging for the pain to stop. The humanity I so used to love turned on them, began to burn them, out of spite and fear and hatred. I will not show them any more grace than they have showed me, I will give them exactly what they deserve, and that blonde idiot is at the top of my list of people who have to fucking pay. I won’t destroy him entirely, because ultimately I want my creatures to stop suffering, but I will break him. I will rip him apart piece by piece for what he has done to me.-”

The absolute fury in Merlin’s words, the hatred, translates to thunder in the sky and agony in Arthur’s chest. The King can barely breathe, muffling the sobs tearing from his mouth with both hands, both terrified of being discovered, and desperate to... to let Merlin punish him for the pain he has caused.

Leon settles a shaking hand on his shoulder, but Arthur doesn’t look his way, his blurry gaze focused on Merlin, now finally turning back to his sister:

“-You know, I’m this close to getting that big blonde idiot to fall in love with me. How pathetic is that?? All it took was a few touches here, a few lingering stares there, saving his life occasionally. The man is so pathetically starved for attention I imagine he’d fall for anyone who showed him the barest amount of affection. That is how I will break him.-”

The only thing stopping Arthur from sobbing aloud is Leon collapsing behind him, pulling the young King back into his chest and wrapping a tight arm around his torso, one hand clamped over his mouth as he mutters desperate reassurances into his ear. Morgana pulls Gwen close in a similar way when the servant’s cries grow harsher, her brother burying his face in her shoulder.

Lancelot barely notices Gwaine gripping his arm hard enough to leave bruises for weeks, or Percival pushing his forehead into Lance’s shoulder blade. All he can do is sit and stare at the ground, his breathing slow but shaky, tears streaming silently down his face as he rethinks everything he’s ever known.

Mordred sits on his own, rocking back and forth rhythmically as he tightens the clutch he has around his knees. Tears drip from his young cheeks, poisoning the ground beneath him as he struggles to consider his faith. His faith in magic, in Emrys, who was meant to be balanced and beautiful and giving. Emrys, who he now knew was twisted and angry and desperate for revenge.

All of their hearts are splitting, cracking down the middle.

“-It won’t be physical pain, no, that’ll be down to the Druid boy. He doesn’t want to kill Arthur now, but he will, one day, when I give him one final push. He’ll fall so far into the darkness there’ll be nothing of him left to save, and when he plunges his sword into The Pendragon’s chest, I’ll sit back and watch with a smile on my face, and Arthur will realise that the man he loves, the man who claimed to love him in return, hated him all along. Tricked him. I will watch the life drain from his eyes, and he will spend his last few moments on this world in every kind of agony imaginable, lost in the knowledge that I wanted him to suffer, that he is being punished for his sins.”

Ava shakes her head, silver tears dripping from her emerald eyes as she stares at the floor:

“Are Sir Mordred and the Lady Morgana not your creatures? Do you not wish to save at least them?”

Merlin chuckles darkly:

“I had faith in them once, but they made their decisions. They sided with a Pendragon over me. Mother may be fond of her precious Once and Future King, but to be fair, she’s fond of anything with a pulse, and I, for one, can not wait until she’s not quite so fond of him anymore.”

Ava gulps, taking a desperate step towards her amused brother, but before she can say anything, before she can make one last plea for mercy on humanity’s behalf, Merlin tilts his head, smirking dangerously:

“Do you think they’re scared?”

She halts in her tracks, blinking in confusion, and Merlin’s smile grows into a chuckle as he gestures behind him:

“The King and all his little friends, hidden in the bushes. Do you think they’re scared?” 

The gang barely have time to look up in shock before their bodies are moving, out of their control. They stand rigidly and walk single-file out from their hiding place, coming to stand in a line at the side of the clearing. Merlin hasn’t even looked at them, but his hand floats in the air, a sickly looking yellow mist swirling around his fingers as he tilts his head at his sister, staring in horror at The King, the knights, the Lady, and the servant.

Merlin drops his hand and they all fall to their knees, not even bothering to be brave as they sob. The angry God finally turns, and the serene smile on his face is chilling as he walks towards them, coming to stand in front of Lance and Mordred first. The two of them are the calmest, though calm in the way that they don’t really look... present. They stare blankly ahead, breathing shallow and tears still falling as Merlin crouches in front of them, gripping a chin in each hand and shaking their heads roughly. His voice comes out a whisper, the frown on his face looking more disappointed than anything:

“So much faith, so much trust. It’s a little pitiful, if I’m being honest.”

They don’t react to his words and he smirks before letting them go and standing, moving on to Elyan and Gwen, gripping the knight’s shoulder and saying with mocking sympathy in his voice:

“You were right, by the way,-”

He glances at a fully sobbing Gwen with disgust:

“-she’ll never forgive you, but she’ll never tell you that. You’ll just spend the rest of your life wondering why your relationship was never the same.”

Next, he shuffles over to Gwaine, not even bothering to see the siblings’ reactions as he passes Leon and Percival with a look of disinterest on his face. He leans down in front of the knight, running a soft hand through his hair, waiting for the man to relax slightly before gripping his hair harshly and yanking back, so he has to look up at him. Merlin gives him a blindingly cruel smile:

“You're grateful that Percival is just as in love with you as you are with him, but don’t think yourself too lucky. You’re a hypocrite and a drunk, and my dear old Percy has too much self respect to put himself through that. I’d go for a good tumble in the hay and give up while you’re ahead.”

Once again, he moves back, his sister having to look away in her grief, her empathy drowning her. The God comes to stand in front of Morgana, who is desperately trying to look brave but failing miserably:

“And you. You’re meant to be The Darkness, but I couldn’t very well have you outdo me, could I? Try your hardest, I’ll still be the end of you, and I wait with baited breath for the day you fall, and the day soon after that, when I get to kill you.”

She break down in tears again at that, horrified with the idea that she might one day be on the same end of morality and cruelty as this monster in front of her.

Merlin smirks before rolling his eyes and finally coming to stand in front of Arthur. The King calms his breathing just enough to look up at a smirking Merlin, his voice cracking and barely-there as he mutters:

“Please... Merlin, please...”

The smirk drops from Merlin’s face as he brings his hand up, the sickly yellow mist back again. Arthur rises from the floor, hands clutching at his throat as the air is drawn from his lungs. Merlin steps closer to his with a snarl, his free hand gripping Arthur’s chin like a vice, though his voice eerily calm as he murmurs:

“You. You and Uther were so desperate for a scape-goat, for a villain, for a monster. And you picked magic, you picked me. So stop being so fucking pathetic, I’m just playing the part you gave me to perfection. You picked the premise, I’m writing the ending.”

Ava finally speaks up, her voice loud, despite the waver:

“Brother please, this is... this is beyond cruelty, please just stop.”

Arthur is dropped, and The King can barely find it in himself to choke for air as Merlin turns back to his sister, the amused smirk back on his face:

“Why? None of them are going to remember in the morning anyway. I’ve had my fun, this has been cathartic, but I can’t have them ruining my plans. So run along now sister, tell Mother that her precious task is being completed, I’m just taking the scenic route.” 

She shakes her head in defeat, staring at the floor. She lifts her head, opening her mouth to make one last attempt, but she closes it, realising that there’s nothing she could possibly say to persuade him to suddenly have mercy, mercy that no one had ever shown him. She gulps, letting out a deep breath before shaking her head again and turning around, walking back into the trees, the way she came.

The God looks back to his puppets, shivering in time with their knotted strings, smirking once more before he clicks his fingers and everything goes dark.

~

Arthur wakes the next morning feeling oddly refreshed and surprisingly unannoyed at his idiot manservant’s lateness. He rolls his eyes at the bright sunshine glaring through his curtains, the sun certainly a lot higher in the sky than it should be at the time The King wakes, but oh well. Merlin has been chipper lately, and the warmth that Arthur feels in his chest at the younger man’s happiness makes him more likely to forgive him his tardiness.

As if thinking of him had summoned him (wishful thinking on Arthur’s part), Merlin bursts through the doors, not bothering to knock as per usual, a breakfast-laden tray in his arms and a cheeky grin on his face. Arthur rolls his eyes again, chucking a pillow at Merlin half-heartedly as he grumbles, also half-heartedly:

“You’re late.”

Merlin chuckles, setting the tray down on the table before jogging endearingly over to Arthur’s bedside, grabbing his hand and pulling him to stand upright:

“Something tells me you don’t mind all that much, Your Pratness.”

Arthur huffs, but only to stop himself from smiling, and resolutely ignores the way Merlin’s hand is still in his. The servant squeezes his palm softly, and Arthur gulps, pulling away and walking towards his meal, hoping the food would squash the butterflies in his stomach.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes, smiling to himself softly at a whole range of things: the good night’s rest he’d had, the bright sunshine, Merlin’s good mood, the sensation of Merlin’s hand in his own, Merlin’s dazzling smile, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin...

Merlin stares at his back as he goes, noting with a dangerously satisfied smirk the red blush of his ears.

The scenic route indeed.

~

THE END!!

Oops I made myself sad. Sorry to say but I hope this makes you sad too.

This was SUPER fun to write and I’m so glad I decided to do two versions😅

Link to the Good!Merlin version (much MUCH fluffier, I promise) at the top!!

[sourdough-morbread]

i havent screamed about mordred in a while so. here are some headcanons

- he doesnt remember before the age of nine, after the village he was living in got raided by camelots knights. its only vague pieces of hlaf formed memories. he isnt sure if they are his or if its cerdans retellings forming an image in his mind. all he knows is its a miracle he survived. usually they kill the children first.

- he does have one memory he knows is his. a well and a faceless image of an older boy showing him light tricks in the water. he doesnt know who the boy is, and its too overwhelming to ask cerdan for a long time. and when mordred is ready, cerdan is long dead.

- he is used to being alone. he has barely known anything else. he was alone for a long time before he joined the round table. probably ever since camelot broke apart alvarrs forces. he was alone among the druids too- he was a warlock. his existence made whoever he was with a bigger target and the druids knew that. and the people he was living with made that known. mostly unintentionally. but mordred has always been perceptive. he knew how people saw him.

- thats why he gets attached to morgana immediately. she is the second warlock he has ever met. she is like her, and she saves his life at the risk of facing Uther Pendragaon. then she shows up in the forest of ascetir, its his biggest wish coming true, so much that he thinks he is dreaming before he hears her scream in his mind and drags aglain after him with barely five words that are definitely not enough to explain whats going on.

- he teaches morgana the basics of easing off magic flares. thats the name for whats happening to her magic. its basically your magic into a spasm and surging at whatever high affinity thing it can find. like fire of a candle or water in a vase. he knows the druids are not going to let her stay for long, even in his wishful thinking. they will try to help her, sure, but he is the only person who knows what it is like for your magic to do that. and he knows if she doesn't learn this it is basically sending her to her death.

- when he hears about morganas betrayal, he doesnt believe it. 'corrupted by magic' he hears people whisper, 'fired crossbows into the crowds, what a monster.' and he knows its bullshit. because magic isnt not fucking corruptive, and she would never do that. she knows what it is like to be afraid. she wouldnt do that. this is some lie uther has come up with and told all the bards to sing. she must have been found out. that's the only explanation that makes sense.

- he joins the saxon bandits in 5x01 to get to morgana. he hears of morgana raising an army against camelot in the name of magic and it confirms everything he thought all along. and druids of the north are more warlike. fortress of ismere has belonged to them for centuries. this is hope. all that stuff about her kidnapping people for some nefarious project? obvious lies.

- except they are not. which is. concerning. but he still pushes on. this is the first time he felt like there was actual hope for magical people.

- his concerns disappear when he meets morgana again. its... surreal to see her. oddly enough the think that sticks out to him the most is that he is now taller than her. its just very weird to be taller than her. but other than that she is morgana. the only person to care about him so readily. he can feel her happiness just at his existence.

- except the whole tearing apart ismere thing. that he cant forget about because its scarred into the magic around him. he doesnt think she knows the damage she is doing. sensing magic is even rarer than warlocks.

- when she proves to him that all she really wants is revenge against arthur, he feels sick. its his worst fears he didnt know he had come to life right before his eyes. he can barely breathe, trying no to get lost in his thoughts. he cant go back to being hopeless and doing nothing but hiding among camelotians.

-thats why he joins arthur. reason says he should leave. joining camelot is dangerous. it is like going to the belly of the beast. except he cant go back to doing nothing and arthur, unlike morgana, actually cares about people. which is a very low bar. but if morgana wins everyones doomed she will burn the kingdom to the ground and sell it piece meal to the saxons.

[anotherhawk]

So, if (yog-sothoth forbid) they tried to make a mechanisms tv show, how wrong do you think they'd get everything? What's one thing they'd get right?

Oh, that's a horrible thought. I honestly don't think they'd get anything right. In particular I think they'd probably insist that Jonny in particular was a good person deep down...I reckon they'd turn Ashes, as a non binary person using they/them pronouns, into either a robot or an alien...I think they'd have some sort of will they/won't they heterosexual romance between Jonny and the Toy Soldier who would for some reason be a Real Girl...I mean everyone would be cis, and either straight or just not like labels.

And as for the stories...Rose Reds would have cyberpunk bikini armour, Cinders would die at the end of Once Upon A Time in Space while killing King Cole, but everyone else would live heterosexually ever after and Snow White would marry either Jack or Tuco who would probably be the same character anyway and take over all the action scenes for Snow. Oh, and the Mechanisms would be part of the glorious 23, obviously.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn...well, first and foremost, Ulysses would be a blond Brad Pitt lookalike. Daedalus would be secretly in charge of everything fucked up about the city and his defeat at the end would lead to a new, hopeful future for the City. With that in mind it would be Daedalus, not Ulysses who designed the hidden signal in the horse for Illium - Ulysses knew nothing about it and thought that they were genuinely trying to make peace. Orpheus is a girl trying to rescue her sister from the Acheron, and in the end she fights on Ulysses' side having been persuaded by his blond Brad Pittness. It ends with Ulysses and Orpheus laying a stone to memorials Penelope before walking off into the future together.

HNoC....so, we're back to classic love triangle between the pendragons obviously. Lancelot and Arthur barely like each other, always competing for Guinevere's affections. Brian is a hermit rather than a literal hanged man. Galahad is good and holy and has doubts but works his way through them with Brian's help. There is queerbaiting. Much, much queerbaiting. Mordred is misguided at first then unambiguously evil by the end. Gawain dies heroically saving him. The saxons are monsters. My man Captain Joseph R Mathea does not feature - this is purely to annoy me personally. This one ends with Arthur heroically sacrificing himself to activate the GRAIL and then being sent out in an escape pod as the once and future King by all his loyal friends and followers while the station is saved.

TBI...Genuinely can't imagine this one being made.

[ac-liveblogs]

So I did in fact start an FGO JP account (my ticket luck: insane. my roll luck: less... exciting). An update on my progress:

Due to my tragic... not being able to read Japanese and the wiki being unhelpful, I’m not sure if I crashed into a Start Dash campaign, but either way the new player welcome campaign was insane. I was drowning in free tickets, quartz, EXP, etc - I was getting loot every day for two weeks, culminating in 50sq and 10 tickets on the last day.

This aside, getting SQ in JP is insanely easy right now. I imagine it’s quite easy in NA due to your 10SQ per interlude/rank up/free quest/story chapter, but JP adds 1 sq fragment per main story node and additional other quartz for levelling servants/craft essences. I’m drowning in the stuff.

Almost every gold I have, I got off a ticket. My ticket game is insane. From tickets, I got: Karna (my first SSR), 2 Oberons (2 in the same batch of 10 tickets no less), Odysseus, 2 Fairy Knight Tristans, Fairy Knight Gawain and Nezha. Rolls netted me an additional Oberon, Morgan and Medusa Lily. Assassins are a big problem for me. 

I adore Fairy Knights Tristan and Gawain. They’re so much fun to play with ;-;  But I haven’t had much time to use FK!Lancelot (she’s surprisingly rare in supports! maybe i’m unlucky). I want to use Percival at some point, but no luck there. 

Oberon is extremely fun high-risk high-reward support, but he’s definitely not new player friendly since he packs a lot of demerits. Just as well Merlin isn’t the current buster meta, hey?

Levelling Morgan and Oberon is horrific. Most of their skill mats are from the Lostbelts. I wisely used special ascension to raise Oberon, but his skills are another terrifying matter. The Fairy Knights wanting Knight Medals is really annoying, but manageable.

Advice says you should choose Waver as your free SSR, but I chose Ozymandias instead because his new buffs look fun. It was a tossup between Ozy and Sitonai, but a friend rightly pointed out that Ozymandias was hot and sounded like DIO, so the choice was easy. However, Assassins are a serious problem, and wouldn’t you know it - I’m in Camelot. .....god i wish i picked sitonai

Morgan has been dealing with Gawain and Mordred. Imagine getting beaten up by your mom. I plan to take Muramasa to beat the Lion King. Also, I forgot Tristan’s gimmick! (current servants deal with singularities 1-6 in their sleep)   

I’m playing JP on my old Samsung Galaxy S3, and the game crashes semi-often, but still runs better than anticipated.

Obviously, due to the updated skill meta, the support servants that crop up most often are very different. 

Artoria, Muramasa and Dioscuri are the largest majority of the Saber support options. I have found ZERO Muramasas that aren’t in Stage 3 Ascension. Speaking of, Muramasa is terrifyingly strong. 

Caster is almost overwhelmingly Artoria Caster (which is wild, given I lived through the Merlin and Skadi booms in NA). There are no Stage 3 Artoria Casters either - mostly stage 2, but some stage 1s. While I get Stage 3 Muramasa to an extent, this one baffles me unless something especially heartbreaking happened in LB6.3.

Assassin is Koyanskaya. Just Koyanskaya. I missed her banner by accident...

Extra is super varied, but all Oberons are Stage 2. I assume there has to be some kind of spoiler lock hiding his Stage 3 because there is a 0% chance that the majority of players didn’t put him on it the second it unlocked. If you thought Melt was a monster in NA, she’s a demon in JP.

I thought Lancer would be flooded with Fairy Knight Lancelot, but that isn’t the case.

Berserker leans Morgan and Arjuna Alter. I also tend to default to Arjuna for wave clearing.

Everything else is quite varied, though I see more Reines than I expected.

[versegm]

So I still have zero knowledge of fate but Astolfo (you mention them a lot!)

You have the patience of a saint to endure my unending stream of random hyperfixations through the years

ANYWAY Stolf!!

- First impression

Astolfo is, according to their fate profile, one of the paladins of Charlemagne, famous kind of France.

I have never, in my life, heard of Charlemagne’s paladins (though I heard plenty about Charlemagne himself)

so yeah my first impression was “Who The Fuck Is That” (turns out the whole “paladins of Charlemagne” deal come mostly from italian shit!! who’d have thought!)

- Current impression

I have never, in my life, wanted so badly to **** someone’s **** (hold their hand)

- Any meta I might have in the back burner

Look I’m too lazy to word it so just take this piece of dialogue from an unrelated thing I wrote

"You ever have very uncomfortable thoughts, and you want to push them back, but your mind keeps circling back to it even if you don't actually want an answer?"

"Ilana, I need you to understand that I don’t actually think. ... So? Don't leave me hanging.What's this question so terrible you're afraid of the answer?"

"I never said I was afraid. ... Well… I was wondering which one you were."

"You'll have to be more precise than that, Ilana. There are many things that I am, and many more than I am not. Sometimes it gets a little blurry."

"... I mean... Are you Astolfo, Paladin of Charlemagne, about which tales and songs were written? Or are you someone, something else entirely, based on his appearance and legend to walk among humans?"

Astolfo, the knight whose sanity was left on the Moon.

There is nothing on the Moon. No one’s sanity. No mountains of lost treasures and wasted time. No Parcae weaving the threads of life. Neil Armstrong confirmed it. None of Astolfo’s take can be true. His very existence just doesn’t make sense.

"Aah, I see what you mean by uncomfortable thought."

"Yeah."

"You know what's the funny thing about it, though?

"... Do tell."

"I don't know either!"

And he’d laughed, clearly thinking it absolutely hilarious. 

It wasn’t.

"Isn't it?” He’d raised his eyebrows in surprise. “... Oh. Yeah, I can see why it wouldn't be. My bad.”

tl;dr Astolfo is someone who is perceived as stupid because that’s the only way to make sense of someone who is so acutely aware of their own schrodinger state of being and yet doesn’t seem to care.

- Something I wish happened in canon

In Orlando Furioso, Astolfo goes on the Moon, where “everything lost and forgotten lays,” and I’m just SAYING it would fucking SLAP if fate canon did something with it.

- Any relationship dynamic I like

Astolfo & Sieg, “I just want this kid to have a normal fucking life and it breaks my heart that he’s willingly choosing a harder path because he wants to do the right thing, but by fucking god I will support him in his endeavor even if it means alienating all my current allies” vs “I owe this person my life, my freedom, my literal heart, and I want to follow their exemple.”

Astolfo & Mordred, “I am weak and insane but I’m perfectly happy with that” vs “if I am not The Best at any given time then it’ll dawn on me that I might be the broken monster I fought so hard not to be and I hate it.” combo with “we both have a lot of thoughts on what makes a good king and how to rule in general.” combo with “we both took one look at each other and thought the other was a clown on sight” combo with “You just tried to kill me and immediately followed with saving my life what, the fuck are you on about” combo with “we both have negative impulse control”

Astolfo & me. Astolfo please date me.

[emachinescat]

Night and Morning with My Tears

A Merlin Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat ​

@febuwhump ​ day 20 - betrayal

Summary: Takes place when Merlin is Morgana’s prisoner in "A Servant of Two Masters.”  When Morgana looks into Merlin’s eyes, what she sees there surprises and angers her in equal measure.  Merlin has no right to act betrayed, not when his betrayal was so much worse.

Characters: Morgana, Merlin

Words: 1,756

TW: None

Notes: Takes place during “A Master of Two Servants,” with flashbacks to “The Fires of Idirsholas,” so there will be spoilers for both of those episodes!

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

I was angry with my friend:

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe:

I told it not, my wrath did grow.

- From “A Poison Tree” by William Blake

And I watered it in fears.

Night and morning with my tears:

And I sunned it with smiles.

And with soft deceitful wiles.

Morgana Pendragon stands before her prisoner, eyes cold and green like the deep forest.  Despite her anger at her men for failing so miserably in their task, she cannot say that she is displeased to see Merlin again.  Although the servant’s mere presence incites a furnace of rage within her, he could prove very useful in her plans to kill Arthur – and if she is able to play with him in the process, make him pay for what he did to her sister, then all the better.

Merlin hangs, unconscious, from his wrists.  He is too tall for the stooping ceiling of her hovel, so his legs fold awkwardly beneath him.  His chin rests against his chest, and he sports a nasty wound on one shoulder.  She will probably end up healing it eventually, as infection is beginning to set in.  She needs Merlin healthy for her plans for him.  Still, she supposes she can let him suffer a bit before she takes on the task of cleaning the wound.  Any amount of pain he endures will be nothing compared to what he has inflicted upon her, time and time again.

When she throws a cold bucket of water into his face, he wakes, coughing, and gasping; she smirks.  When he regains his bearings and locks eyes with her, any satisfaction or pleasure she receives from his struggles melts away like candle wax under a flame.  It has been a long time since she has looked into those very blue eyes from mere feet away, and what she finds in them is unsettling and unexpected – they are familiar, but foreign, and they stir up memories that she prefers to keep hidden, even from herself.

Stolen glances, conspiring winks, soft smiles.  Fighting bandits in Ealdor, not out of duty, not for Camelot, but out of loyalty, for a friend.  Defeating a clay monster, teasing Arthur, smuggling Mordred out of the citadel.  This is a part of her life so disconnected from herself that she has all but convinced herself that it happened to someone else.  

But a chilly fierceness has descended over his eyes like a veil, and it is as if she is looking at an entirely different person all together.  Long ago, back before Morgana knew of her powers and heritage, when she was young and naive and living a life of luxury, Merlin had never failed to have a smile on his face.  He spoke softly and kindly, and Morgana had loved the compassion for others she could sense in his gaze.  That innocence has vanished, leaving him suspicious, cruel, and hard.  

There is one emotion that Morgana detects in those blue eyes that causes a righteous fury to swell inside her like a summer tempest, tints her vision red and sends her hurtling back into her past, to the worst moment of her entire life, and she has to restrain herself from ending Merlin’s miserable existence then and there.  Pace yourself, Morgana.  You have use for him yet.

But it is a hard battle.  Indignation seizes her heart and squeezes.  How dare Merlin have the audacity to look betrayed when he looks back at her?  How dare he act as if she is in the wrong, as if she is the one who has turned against her friends?  Morgana has no friends, not anymore.  She has no family.  And she has Merlin to thank for that.

He has no right to act like she is betraying him by capturing him, holding him as her prisoner in the hovel he might as well have picked out for her.  Morgana is the only one who has the right to feel betrayed – what she has planned for Merlin is nothing, nothing, compared to what he did to her.

***

Dying is strange, if you think about it.  It is the one thing, other than being born, that unites all of humanity, all creatures.  Two people may live out lives on opposite ends of the map, may never meet one another; one may be a king, the other a slave, one a scholar, the other a simpleton.  And yet, someday, they both will die.  Death unites us all, even as it tears us apart.  The funny thing is, although everyone is plodding forward to the same destiny, only those who have walked the path to completion know what it is like.  Death is the great equalizer, but no one who meets it can divulge its secret.  It is at once the most common experience of mankind and its greatest secret.

Morgana came closer to discovering that secret than most people who have played the delicate strings of life and death when she was poisoned by a man she called her friend.  Even now, when she recalls that moment when she realized that something was wrong – I can’t breathe, oh gods – her blood drains from her body and fear replaces it, cold and numbing and terrible.  She remembers with complete clarity the feel of her throat swelling, can hear the rasp of her breath and see her vision becoming a vignette, dark around the edges, closing in, prowling ever closer.

Dying was bad enough.  Dying of poison, feeling her body shut down, attack itself, turn on her, was hell.  By far the worst part of Morgana’s death, however, was the moment she realized who was responsible.  Her entire world came crashing down when her eyes, bulging from the panicked strain of trying to pull in breath where none existed, traveled from the discarded water-skin to the servant she called her friend.  If she had doubted his involvement before, it was confirmed with the expression on his face.  He reeked of regret and guilt; shame radiated off of him and contaminated the air around them.  

Merlin had poisoned her.  Merlin, the clumsy, goofy, kind-hearted, loyal servant of the prince, the man she had risked her life for more than once, who had treated her like a person instead of royalty, who had been her friend when she felt alone and afraid as her powers blossomed – Merlin was killing her.  It was like she had been stabbed in the heart, that realization, and for a brief moment that could have been the rest of her life, that knowledge that she was dying at the hand of her friend hurt far more than her closing airway, than her lungs starved for air, than the pain and the fear and the darkness of death swooping ever closer.

She backed away, her limbs clumsy; they no longer belonged to her, only the living had use of them.  Through pain-hazed vision, she watched as Merlin walked over, sat near her, saw his lips move without hearing his words, and then he was gathering her into his arms, holding her close, and she tried to fight, tried to call out, tried to escape, but – she was helpless.

He sat with her, held her, rocked her like she was a child, and she felt his face against the top of her head, felt warm tears hit her scalp, and she couldn’t breathe, her ears rang like tinny chimes and her vision flickered, her hands and feet tingled like she’d been sitting on them all day, and her chest wouldn’t move.

Oh gods.  

The feel of his touch made her want to scream, burning vile fingerprints into her skin.  She heard a terrible noise, a choking, garbled sound, and realized it was her.  She tried to squirm away from him, from this disgusting facsimile of comfort, partially wondering what his game was, why he was acting like he cared about her, what he could possibly gain by holding her as she died of a poison he had administered.  The other part of her knew that it didn’t matter, and resigned itself to the fact that the last touch she was going to feel before she died was that of the man who had killed her.

Her last few seconds of consciousness were comprised of pure terror; she floated in that empty space between life and death, felt everything and nothing, and was consumed by her fear and the overwhelming, blood-freezing understanding that she didn’t want to die.  She had done nothing to deserve this; she had only been his friend.  It didn’t matter that she didn’t wish for death, that she had plans for her life, that she could have made a difference, that she had a sister she was just getting to know and that she could do so much more.  All control had been stripped away, any choice and free will had been stolen in an act of violence and betrayal that she simply could not understand.

Right before she gave in to the pain and the cold and the dark, she realized that she hated Merlin.

When she awoke, sometime later, to Morgause’s concerned brown eyes, not knowing how she could be alive but grateful nonetheless, that feeling of hatred hadn’t dimmed.  In fact, it had grown, and it continued to fester, burrowing deep into her soul like a cherished tumor, one that she fed and nurtured, loved and despised in equal measure.

And she waited, knowing that a time would come to repay Merlin for the terrible sins he had committed against her, for taking the trust she had in him and crushing it beneath his ratty servant’s boot.  

***

No, Merlin does not deserve to feel betrayed, to look at her through eyes tinted with hurt.  He has no right to speak of loyalty, or friends.  He pretends at being loyal to Arthur, but Morgana has seen his heart, has felt the rot inside of his soul, and knows that it is only a matter of time before he betrays his beloved king as well.  Merlin is no mere servant – he is a hollow man, filled only with cruelty and hate, and sooner or later, he will destroy everything he loves.

Morgana is only helping that process along with the Fomorroh.  She relishes the look of betrayal melting into fear.  His wide eyes and hitched breath whisper comfort to her innermost hurts.

And when he screams, she smiles.

[swanqueeneverafter]

Sins of the Past Pt.22

Camelot. (Elsa, Kristoff and Anna make their latest sweep of the castle while Anna explains what she saw at the marketplace.) Anna: "Why would she be cloaking her appearance from us if she didn't feel guilty about something?" Elsa: "I agree it's more than a little suspect." Anna: (Scoffs:) "Suspect? I'll bet you anything that Morgause was the one who killed Lady Helen and pretended to be her at your birthday party." Kristoff: "Woah, that's a pretty huge accusation. Do you have any proof of that?" Anna: "I don't need proof, it's a gut feeling." Kristoff: "Okay, but Morgana would still have to have known about it if that’s true and Elsa thinks she's innocent." Elsa: "I did not use the word ‘innocent’. She's definitely up to something, but I don't believe Morgana is fully aware of all Morgause's movements." Anna: "You think Morgause did this by herself without Morgana's knowledge?" Elsa: "I don’t know, but one thing is for sure, Morgause is not acting alone."

Maleficent's Holding Cell. (Deep beneath the castle, Maleficent is suspended by her wrists and feet against the wall. Opening the cell door, Aredian enters, a smug grin upon his face.) Aredian: "Ah, Maleficent. Well, I hope you've found some relief now that your ordeal is almost at an end." Maleficent: "Your concern is touching, Aredian. (She spits at him:) Get out of my sight!" Aredian: "Ha! Of course, I just thought you'd want to hear the news, that's all." Maleficent: "What news?" Aredian: "Your daughter is almost certain to be purchased by the end of the day. It seems Morgause has taken a liking to her." Maleficent: "Goad me all you want, old man. You are not a Dragonlord and therefore cannot hope to control my daughter. She will never answer to you." Aredian: "Perhaps not. Then again, I've always found that people will do pretty much anything, if given the proper motivation. Say for instance, watching her mother being slowly tortured to death?" Maleficent: "And what would that prove?" Aredian: "That she loves you? That the familial bond is strong even between half-breed atrocities? It does not matter. Once I convince your daughter to change willingly into her dragon form, Morgause has a spell that will keep her trapped that way indefinitely." (He turns to leave.) Maleficent: "Wait! (Aredian stops:) I won't fight you any longer, I give you my word. Have them take me instead, please. Just let my daughter go." Aredian: (Chuckles:) "Oh, I don't bargain with monsters." (He walks out of the cell and locks the door, chuckling darkly as he leaves.) Council Chamber. (Morgana and Morgause discuss strategy.) Morgana: "So is it still your belief that Ella, will seek her vengeance upon Regina?" Morgause: "Undoubtedly. However, there are always contingencies if she does not." Morgana: "You speak of Mordred, I take it?" Morgause: (Hesitates:) "Naturally. If all else fails, he is in position to implement our last resort." Morgana: "So, our last resort, according to you, would also be our only contingency. You're certain there are no other plans I need to know about?" Morgause: (Considers her sister for a long moment:) "No, Sister.” Morgana: "Excellent. Then I see no reason as to why we cannot begin preparations for Emma Swan's trial." Morgause: (Nods:) "It shall be done, my Queen."

Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. (Emma and Regina return to the diner to hear the next challenge in the couples competition.) Emma: "You've got to be kidding." Snow White: "Well, we just thought that the first task showed how well you worked as a team, so this one should test how well you know your partner." Regina: "And you thought the best way to do that is if we swap jobs for a day?" Zelena: "Not just jobs, clothes too. (Considers:) We may let you keep your own hairstyles." Snow White: "Although bonus points would be awarded if you did decide to go the extra step." Regina: (Folding her arms:) "I see, so you two are enjoying yourselves at our expense?" Snow White: "Actually, it wasn't our idea. Mulan and Ruby came up with this task." Emma: (Flatly:) "Great." Zelena: "Oh what's the big deal? You two are always trying to get into each other's pants anyway, at least this time you'll finally get to do it in front of that audience you've secretly wanted all these years." Emma & Regina: "What?" Zelena: (Laughs:) "Don't try and deny it. You two are always doing it somewhere out in the open. (To Snow:) You just know they want to get caught. (Thinks:) Although probably not by you." Snow White: (A little flustered:) "A-anyway we're getting a little off track here. The winner of the next round will be the pair who most accurately plays the role of their partner." Zelena: "There you go, some role play thrown in too. Everyone's happy." (Zelena is all smiles while Emma and Regina glare at her and, groaning, Snow lowers her head onto the table.) Wonderland. The Boro Grove. (Will arrives, dropping his torch and calling out for Ella.) Will: “Ella! Ella! Ella, are you ohh, (Dodges a purple spray:) not today!” Ella: (Gasps and runs towards him:) “You're here!” (They hug.) Will: “Found ya. And you're in one piece. I guess we're both okay. You had me worried for a bit.” Ella: “Don't worry about anything. Everything is wonderful here. (Excitedly:) You've got to see this!” (Ella grabs Will’s hand and pulls him along the grove.) Will: “Slow down.” Ella: “Come on!” (They come to a circle of flowers on the ground. In the middle of which is Ella’s sword with the necklace wrapped around it.) Will: “What the hell is that?” Ella: (Giddily:) “I made it. Isn't it pretty?” Will: (Looking around, mutters under his breath:) “What the bloody hell is going on here? (Sees the Carpenter smiling at him:) Who's that?” Ella: “Oh. That's just the Carpenter. Don't worry about him.” Will: “Right. Don't worry about the man with the saw and the scary grin.” Ella: (Picking a flower:) “Exactly.” Will: “Um how long have you been here, Ella?” Ella: “I don't remember. A while.” Will: “And you took the necklace off and just stopped everything to pick flowers? With your mother still out there?” Ella: (Thinks, scrunching up her nose:) “Yes?” Will: “Why would you do that?” Ella: “Because it makes me happy.” (Ella blithely stoops down to pick more flowers while Will stares at her with concern.)

Storybrooke. Forest. (A large crowd has gathered in an open field, just outside the mouth of the woods.) Gabrielle: (Readjusting Xena's armour:) "I remember this being a lot baggier last time I wore it." (Ruby and Mulan, who are watching this with great interest, can't help but comment.) Ruby: "That's probably because you weren't as buff back then." Mulan: "I'll say." Gabrielle: (Pursing her lips:) "You know I'm used to being ogled by sleazy guys in taverns, but you two are something else." Ruby: "Hey, we're not 'ogling', we're 'fangirling'." Mulan: "There's a difference." Gabrielle: "The producers of that show really took liberties with my scrolls. Half the things on there Xena and I never actually did." Mulan: "Well, we know about Hades. Zelena killed him." Ruby: "And Poseidon's still ruling the oceans with Ursula, but are you trying to tell us you never met Caesar or Cecrops or Joxer?" Xena: (Stepping out from behind a tree:) "Oh, Joxer was very real." (Mulan and Ruby's mouths drop. Smirking at their reactions, Gabrielle turns and gazes longingly at Xena herself.) Gabrielle: "Wow. Xena, you look amazing." Xena: "Oh give me a break, Gabrielle. You've seen me with a lot less clothes than this." Mulan: (Raising a hand:) "Not that I'm complaining..." Ruby: "No, we're definitely not complaining." Mulan: "But aren't you supposed to be wearing Gabrielle's clothes?" Xena: "Tried. (Shakes her head:) Velvet just isn't me, so I've compromised. Gabrielle is an Amazon Queen, so, seeing as Regina is also known as the Evil Queen, I thought I'd even the odds." Gabrielle: "Oh there's nothing evil about that outfit." (Xena winks and gives her a very Miss Amphipolis-esque spin.) Ruby: (Clearing her throat:) "So ladies, shall we see what the crowd thinks?" Xena: (Looks to Gabrielle, who nods:) "Lead on, you two." (Walking ahead of them, Mulan and Ruby step aside to reveal Xena and Gabrielle to the gathered masses. While the crowd cheers their approval, we see David standing at the back watching on. Just as Xena and Gabrielle begin to demonstrate their fighting skills by sparring with Mulan and Ruby, a car horn sounds behind him. Turning, he sees Snow waving from the passenger seat while Regina pulls up beside him, driving Emma's yellow bug.) Regina: "Get in loser, we're going to the Mayor's office." Outside Town Hall. (Parking up, Regina steps out of the car, stamp in hand.) Regina: "Before we go in, you two need your hands stamped. I've put the same protection spell around town hall and my office.” Snow White: (Smiling, extends her hand:) "You look so adorable, just like Emma." Regina: "Oh, please. The only thing I'm wearing of Emma's you can see is her jacket. The rest are Roni's clothes. Turns out Roni and Emma have the same taste." David: "What do you mean ‘the only thing we can see’?" Regina: (Unashamedly:) "What do you think I mean? (Enjoying both Snow and David's wince when they both realise just what other item of clothing of Emma's Regina could be wearing:) Come on, they're waiting inside."

Mayor's Office. (Beaming at the sight of her wife and daughter behind the desk, Regina walks over to them. Kissing Emma before lifting Maria out of the carrier and into her arms, Regina turns to the Charmings.) Regina: "So, what do you think?" Snow White: (Smiles:) "I think she looks at home behind the Mayor's desk." Emma: "Well I've been over, on top of and under it, so why not, right? (At David's grimace:) Sorry. Were you guys followed?" Regina: "I don't think so, but we'll soon find out if anyone's listening in should a large tree appear in the corner of the office." Emma: "Good, so where are we?" David: "Merida's positioned her people at the border while Robin and his men are working out their game plan in the forest." Snow White: "I've spoken with Tiana and Jasmine and they've both briefed their soldiers." Emma: "Great, and the Fairies?" Snow White: (Nods:) "Blue and Tinker Bell each have teams ready to go at a moment's notice." David: "Grumpy and the remaining Dwarves have been speaking with the Munchkins and with Zelena's help they're ready to attack via the tunnel systems." Regina: "Excellent. With Xena, Gabrielle, Mulan, Emma and I leading the charge with Lancelot and his knights, I can't see how Camelot has a chance." David: "Be that as it may, you know my thoughts on all this. I still don't think attacking Morgana and Morgause is the right play. Not when we have no idea how powerful their magic is." Emma: "Dad, we've done things your way long enough. We've played the waiting game, now it's time to act. One way or the other we need to find Lily and Maleficent. If it turns out they are being held in Camelot and we do nothing, can you really live with that decision?" Snow White: "I can if it means keeping you safe." (Regina and Emma exchange surprised looks.) Emma: "I appreciate that, Mom, but as you guys have told me, helping people no matter the cost, should always be the first and only choice." Camelot. Underground Holding Cell. (Still tied to her chair, Lily is rudely awakened by Aredian, who throws a bucket of water over her.) Aredian: "Oh, I'm sorry, I heard you'd been asking for water earlier? (Chuckles, to Guards:) Watch her, I'll be back with my instruments shortly."

(Aredian leaves while the two guards stand outside her cell. Unbeknownst to any of them, Lily has managed to fray the rope binding her hands behind her back.) Wonderland. The Boro Grove. (Will is anxious to leave.) Will: “Come on, Ella. We've got to find your mum, remember?” Ella: “Maybe in a little while. Have you felt the bark on this tree? It's lovely.” Will: (Ella skips away:) “I don't want to feel the bloody bark. I want you to snap out of it.” Ella: “Snap out of what?” Will: “Ella, what's wrong with you?” Ella: “Nothing! For the first time in my life, nothing's wrong. I'm happy. He's happy. Why aren't you?” (While Ella skips away, Will turns his attention to the Carpenter.) Will: (Standing directly in front of him:) “What have you done to Ella? (No response:) I said, what did you do to her? (Again, no reply:) Listen, I'm more of a lover, generally. But if you don't talk, I will knock an answer out of you. (Grabbing the man by the shirt, Will is about to hit him when a leaf sprouts out of the Carpenter’s neck:) Mate, you got something. (Walking around the man to look closer, Will finally notices that the Carpenter’s lower body has turned into a tree. Backing away:) Bloody hell! (Bumping into a tree, Will turns and sees a face carved into the wood:) Oh, God. (Looking at the other trees, he sees yet more faces:) This is not good.” Carpenter: (Serenely:) “It makes you want to stay.” Will: (Takes off running:) “Ella! Ella! Ella! (Catching up with her:) Ella, we have to get out of here right bloody now. Ella.” Ella: (Blankly:) “Who's Ella?”

Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Maria's Nursery. (Emma stands over Maria's crib watching her sleep. Glancing at Regina, she notices the huge smile on her face.) Emma: (Returning the smile:) "What is it?" Regina: (Shrugs:) "This. Us. You. Everything. I just... I've never been so happy in all my life. I almost feel like a child again." Emma: "Well, we are standing in a nursery." Regina: "No, it's not just that. Even when I was a little girl, I never had as much fun as we do now." Emma: (Scoffs:) "Hopefully you didn't have any fun like we do, back then." Regina: (Rolling her eyes:) "I mean the silliness, the adventures, the people in our lives. Our family. It makes me feel as though we've really made it, you know? That we've really beaten the odds." Emma: (Placing her hand on Regina's:) "Me too. I couldn't be happier. Although, (Begins stroking the back of Regina's hand in a playful manner:) as much as I enjoy the giddy, child-like Regina, I had hoped that the Sheriff Swan-Mills version might like to come out and play?" Regina: "Oh really?" Emma: "Mmhmm." Regina: "Well that can be arranged, but I thought that could wait for another evening." Emma: "Oh. (Slightly disappointed:) I guess you're right, we probably should get an early night before tomorrow." Regina: (Chuckles:) "No, silly. I just meant that I had something else in mind for tonight." Emma: "Ooh. Do tell." Regina: "Oh no, this one will be much more fun if I just show you. But it will take a little while to get ready. So, why don't you give me five minutes, and then come find me." Emma: (Reluctantly releases Regina's fingers as she backs out of the room:) "Five minutes?" Regina: (Nods:) "A quick five, I promise. Oh, and Emma?" Emma: "Hm?" Regina: (Covers her eyes with her hands:) "No peeking." (Upon seeing the pure joy and excitement on her wife's face, Emma concludes that there is nothing she would not do to make Regina happy.) Wonderland. The Boro Grove. (While Ella begins making herself a daisy-chain tiara, Will has other ideas.) Will: “All right, that's enough. You don't remember the search for your mother. You don't remember yourself. Well, no more arguments. (Grabs Ella’s hand and pulls her to her feet:) We're going.” Ella: “Go where?” Will: “The hell out of here. Look, Ella! You see all these trees? They all used to be people. That's what's gonna happen to you if you stay. So I'm getting you out.” (Ella wrenches her arm out of Will’s grip.) Ella: “No! (Runs back and picks up her sword:) I don't want to go! I'm not leaving! (Slashes the air:) Stay away from me!” Will: “Easy. (Ella slashes again:) Easy!” Ella: “I won't go! You can't make me go! Just leave me alone! Let me stay!” Will: “I don't wanna hurt you, Ella, but you're not yourself.” Ella: “I'm better! I'm the person I've always wanted to be! I’m happy!” Will: “This place isn’t making you happy! It's not real happiness! Believe me. I know the difference when I see it.” Ella: “And why is that?!” Will: “Listen. There's something I never told you before. When my heart was ripped from me, I mean, literally taken from my chest, I thought that hole could never be filled. And then I got it back and since then, I’ve tried everything I can to always do the right thing. Maybe that's why I can't let this happen.” (Will tries to pull Ella’s sword away from her.) Ella: “Stop!” Will: “Give me the sword, Ella! (Ella throws him to the ground. Landing hard, Will sits up and notices that Ella’s lower half is also turning into a tree. Stands:) Ella, I can't make you go.” Ella: “Exactly.” Will: “No, I mean it. I can't make you. I can't take you. I can't force you. Because in this place the only way out is wanting to go. So please, Ella, just come with me. Oh, bloody hell, Ella. Look at ya! (Ella looks down at herself:) Please just come with me.” Ella: “No. I'm not going anywhere. I finally found a home.”

Camelot. Dungeons. (Kristoff wearily follows Anna and Elsa through the dungeons yet again.) Kristoff: "Guys, how many more times are we going to come down here? It's not like we're suddenly going to find-" Anna & Elsa: "Shh!" (Moving quickly into an unoccupied cell, the trio hide in the darkness as Aredian emerges from behind the false stone wall, whistling merrily to himself. Once he passes, Elsa and Anna rush to the wall before it seals itself.) Elsa: "Wait. Anna, please, it could be dangerous. Why don't you and Kristoff go for help and I'll-" Anna: "What are you crazy? You're not going down there by yourself. Tell her, Kristoff." Kristoff: "Absolutely, we go together or not at all." (Elsa smiles at this, still worried for their safety, but pleased not to be facing whatever lies at the end of the steep tunnel alone.) Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. (Tiptoeing down the hall after three minutes and two seconds, Emma hopes to catch a glimpse of Regina's planned surprise. Before she can push open the door however, Emma hears Regina speak.) Regina: "Come in, Madam Mayor. (Smiling when Emma enters sheepishly:) I knew you couldn't wait the full five minutes." Emma: (Stepping into the room and closing the door:) "You'd be supremely disappointed if I did." (Turning towards the sound of her wife's voice, Emma gasps when she sees Regina sitting on the edge of the table in front of the vanity mirror clad in a leather halter top, and not much else.) Regina: "Good evening, Madam Mayor." Emma: (Approaching:) "Good evening... Mistress?" Regina: "Really?" Emma: (Stops walking, whispers:) "Well, what are you supposed to be?" Regina: "This is my version of what an Amazon Queen would wear." Emma: "So now you're an Amazon? (Notices the stockings and heels:) Do Amazon's wear heels?" Regina: "This one does." Emma: "Mm, how silly of me." Regina: "Don't you like it?" Emma: (Scoffs:) "You know I do. It's just... it looks more like S&M gear than battle armour." Regina: "Well, it did come with a pair of these." (Regina holds up a pair of handcuffs.) Emma: "Ah, so this is an undercover operation. Very tricky Sheriff Swan-Mills. So I assume you know your Miranda rights?" Regina: (Lifting an eyebrow:) "Of course I do. I have the right to be picked up by a woman in uniform." Emma: (Resumes her approach:) "Uh huh." Regina: "I have the right to be handcuffed and stripped-searched." Emma: (Chuckles and lifts Regina into her arms:) "You most certainly do." Regina: "Anything I see or touch must be held against me." Emma: (Depositing Regina gently on the bed:) "Yes, Ma'am." Regina: "I have the right to bare arms, chest and legs." Emma: "Just give me a minute to work out how to take this thing off you and I'll be right on that." Regina: "Wait, who's arresting who here?" Emma: (Leaning down for a kiss:) "Oh, you captured my heart years ago, officer." Camelot. Underground Cell. (One of the guards enters Lily's cell, placing his sword against the wall.) Guard 2: "What are you doing? He said watch her." Guard 1: "What do you think I'm doing? I'm just getting a better look, is all. (Creepily, the guard approaches the bound woman. Placing his hands on his knees, he bends down to stare at her:) So you're some kind of fire breathing dragon, huh? You don't look too scary to me." Guard 2: "Come on, get out of there." Guard 1: (Ignoring him:) "Don't mind him. (Stroking her face with the back of his hand:) You know what? If you promise to play nice, I'll remove that gag and give you something more fun to do with that pretty mouth." (Shakily, Lily nods her head. Emboldened by this, the guard reaches up and removes the gag.) Lily: "Thank you." (Swinging her arm around from behind her back, Lily embeds a broken piece of wood from her chair into the guard's temple, killing him instantly. Reaching the guard's weapon first, Lily uses it against the second guard, slashing him twice across the chest. Catching the man's body and easing him silently to the ground, Lily relieves the dead man of his sword before running for the door and heading down the long, dark passageway.)

[kob131]

The Lostbelts: Explicitly a story arc with grey and grey morality. Chaldea: Decides to commit global scale genocide with no hesitation and never even considers trying to find another option. Galahad: well if Chaldea represents that timeline's version of humanity I see no raeson why I should be helping them over any of the other timelines. Fate fandom: REEEEEEEEEE!!!

A. The other timelines explictedly fuck over their residents. As in, LB1 is all about survival of the fittest which fucks over it’s residents. LB2 forces humanity (specifically young women) to be sacrificed to man eating giants. LB3 people are forced into being ignorant. LB4 routinely purges those that the King views as “evil” in a hellish cycle of reincarnation. LB5 has humanity become mindless slaves to uncaring gods. And LB6? We haven’t been there yet and we already know it’s even worse than LB5, with humanity being on the verge of extinction and implied that the king there is fucking VORTIGERN.

All six we know about are worse than the original.

Literally the only thing that is even remotely grey is that destroying the Lostbelts will erase the inhabitants.

B. Speaking of-CHALDEA DOES HESITATE. In fact, if you played or even looked up LB1, you’d know that Ritsuka almost commits suicide by cop only to be saved by a resident of the Lostbelt all but explictedly telling him that the Lostbelt doesn’t deserve to stand if it means his world is gone.

And C. Galahad knows fuck all of the Lostbelts. He fucks off before they even SEE one. He fucks off because ‘It’s Ritsuka’s fault that the Alien God destroyed everything by killing Goetia because at least there would be something left BTW I’mma gonna take back the powers I gave the girl who MADE GOETIA’S DEFEAT POSSIBLE so she can’t fight properly and, say, FIX THIS SITUATION THAT BY MY LOGIC I CAUSED.’

Galahad isn’t supporting anyone, he’s being a child and blaming everyone else for a situation that no one is at fault for or, by his logic, HE’S at fault for.

No shit Galahad’s getting shat on. Look at the other Round Table members. Arturia may have been foolish but she never stopped trying to protect humanity even at her own expense. Lancelot may have stuck his dick in the queen but he defected in Camelot and helped protect humanity. Gawain maybe overly emotional and blindly loyal but he still acts for the sake of humanity. Agravain maybe cruel but he still tries his best for his king and his kingdom. Fucking MORDRED, The Knight or Treachery, the killer of King Arthur, the destroyer of Camelot has worked in the better interest of humanity TWICE now (Apocrypha and Grand Order).

In fact, the second and last examples really shows how little of an excuse Galahad has. Galahad has had everything Mordred didn’t, up to and including a childhood with loving parents (as shown by Lancelot) and not say a missing dad and what is implied to be a MASSIVELY abusive mother, a favorable upbringing as Lancelot’s recognized kid unlike Mordred being seen as a bastard (despite the fact that in Arthurian Myth he’s a rape baby too), seen as the best knight while Mordred is seen as a monster and yet she’s still being a better knight than him.

And Lancelot? The man who he decries to the point that literally the only thing Mash knew was ‘Lancelot was totes a bad dad’? He’s lived his life trying to right his wrongs (and his wrongs in hindsight aren’t even that bad) to the point he’s driven mad by it. The man he pins all the blame on and bashes is by far one of the better knights of the Round Table even with the ‘fucking Guinievere’ thing while the best thing Galahad has to his name is...what exactly? Saving Mash that one time? Which he is currently trying to undo?

Galahad is not only a shitty knight, he’s THE shittiest knight of Fate’s Round Table. And again, that includes a torturer (Agravain) and a killer (Mordred). All while pretending he’s somehow better than one of the better ones.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: prompts

Mahoyo

Soujuuro, Aoko and Alice and pet play. Like he has a collar. Cmon.

Tsukihime

Where can I get some Nrvnqsr/Roa content?

FSN

Smut, On Today's Menu: a meal Shirou made, unknowingly containing that sex pollen plant. Consequently, all the 5th Holy Grail War ladies fuck, right in front of his salad.

Fate/Extra

nrt, Robin Hood cucks Tamamo in the Extella setting, specifically with Male Hakuno

FGO

turns out that guda isn't very versed in history and myth, despite the staff's efforts to educate them. so when enkidu opens up to them and how they miss their "king of heroes" guda comes to the logical conclusion that enkidu must want to fuck gaogaigar. they then invite enkidu to start binging a lot of mecha anime, and enkidu is confused but appreciates it

Guda die as virgin so when they got summon as servant, they decide to lose it. Why get laid is so hard!? (Comedy. A lot cockblock)

Smut, incest, Gudako really wants to rail Gudao. But it's wrong: they're siblings after all! Plus she's sure he's already getting some from others. So why can't she indulge in the very close looking Charlemagne, hm?

The new Elizabeth halloween form is revealed! Ignore how she looks suspiciously like Carmilla, and how a familiar shrill scream can be heard coming from a locked closet.

Euryale and Stheno are twins who basically do everything together, to the point where they refer to each other as "myself" in their voice lines. But I'd like to see something where Euryale, having grown from befriending Asterios, starts being more and more hesitant in following her sister in the Medusa bullying... until it explodes into Euryale and Stheno outright fighting. Stheno stayed the same, but Euryale didn't, and so they can't see eye to eye anymore.

Would love a fic (or anything else idc) exploring Euryale being so kind to Asterios because she sees her monster of a sister in him, and if she couldn'y help her sister then at least she can help this one guy.

David decides to court Barghest, in hopes of getting over his fears of taller women. Things go surprisingly well- until Barg’s urges to eat her lover start to kick in, and David starts looking like a snack (literally).

Smut, Raikou finds her dear sweet master peeping on her in the tub. Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty boy~ Seems like Mama Raikou has to teach her master a lesson he’ll never forget.

Smut, After a long day fighting in the Grail War; Yu Mei-Ren learns the wonders of polyamory, her ‘master’ learns the wonders of feet, and both learn about their own feelings. Maybe.

Krishtaria and yu-senpai meet in the afterlife and bond over their respective horse boyfriends (and their horse cocks)

gudako allows the support servants to have a break. Just as all of the support servants FINALLY rejoice, something bad happens. Bonus if the bad thing that happens is caused by either gudako or chen gong

The twelve paladins of Charlemagne (really three of them) have a quest…! To find Roland’s missing clothes before a special event because Roland had stripped and is now running around Chaldea butt ass naked!

Smut, Can we get some cock worship for Morgan? With either Mash, Mordred, or Baobhan giving her head.

Gore, Guda offers themselves up as sacrifices to the Aztec god of their choosing leading to some very gory fun

Any fandom

Might i humbly request some Lingerie admiration? Im not too picky on who, but I've only played FGO so that be preferable.

The all-swimsuit-servant holy grail war. Preferably with the viewpoint Master slowly figuring out that for some reason every single summoned Servant has a literal actual swimsuit as their battle attire.

Crossover

Illya summons Servant Berserker Kazuma Kiryu and wins the grail war because Tiger Drop negates all damage. Un/fortunately for them, Kiryu's a Yakuza protagonist leading to both wacky hijinks and heartbreaking moments.

Samurai Remnants

With her husband now in Chaldea, Tomoe decides to show him her new hobby of video games. But, while she gets into explaining and playing it, Yoshinaka decides to take up his favorite hobby and makes sweet sweet love. Bonus if Tomoe doesn't stop infodumping during it

[petekaos]

Merlin and arthur for your character ask game!!

I sent an ask about merlin and Arthur for the ask game, I hope that's okay!! I don't know if you only wanted characters from bl shows lol but I had to send them, I l o v e them

hiii nonnie!! oh this is perfectly alright, i adore merlin and arthur like no other! bbc merlin was the first show that ever truly... stuck with me. so here goes! (uhhh, pretty pivotal spoilers for bbc merlin in case it wasn’t obvious!)

merlin:

favorite thing about them: 

i just love how GOOD merlin is! he’s one of my absolute favourite characters of all time and the way how he tries to help everyone and anyone he can and uses his magic in order to make people’s lives easier is just... wonderful. he literally gets into escapades every episode because he wants to help one person or another and it’s just so so good and funny, i love him.

least favorite thing about them: 

honestly you could not count the amount of times i’ve shaken my fist at the screen and told merlin to stop listening to kilgarrah lmaooo, i feel merlin trusts... too blindly. especially when it comes to destiny and all that lark, i wish he would think for himself and realise that destiny is something you mold. i feel that would have made s4 and s5 WAY more interesting and also... better! considering the entire mordred subplot as well.

favorite line: 

god... this series is five seasons long and merlin has the most wonderful quotes. but off the top of my head? i have to pick something from the finale, as i will do for arthur as well. “and i use it for you, arthur. only for you.” like... that continues to tug on my heartstrings, honestly. the way he feels the need to justify himself having magic, and the way that merlin went from this young, innocent, stars-in-his-eyes boy to a wrecked mess in the end, living not for himself, but solely for arthur and the good of camelot. this line showcases that beautifully and how merlin needs to heal first before loving arthur. he has the greatest power in the world... and he uses it all for this one man. bro.

brotp: 

merlin and gwen!!! merlin and morgana!!! merlin and the knights!!! i love the idea of all of them being a tight-knit and close family, merlin just... meshes well with so many people and i adore all of his friendships, esp with lancelot and gwaine from the knights :’)

otp: 

merlin x arthur. yeah, man. the tragedy of it all... the heartwrenching ache of it all... they truly served in a way that no other white non-canonical mlm couple could. absolutely wonderful.

notp: 

not really... fond of any merlin ship apart from merlin x arthur but merlin x morgana is Bad, he’s gay and she’s a lesbian and they’re magic best friends!

random headcanon: 

this is similar to my one for met, but merlin should use his magic and play WAY more pranks on arthur. i’m talking throwing stuff at him when he’s got his back turned but acting all innocent when he turns back. i’m talking stealing more of his food and shrugging his shoulders. i’m talking sparring with arthur in front of all the knights and cheating so he can win. arthur is fuming but he can never say anything because the knights all love merlin more than him and would never believe any sort of accusation against him.

unpopular opinion: 

he should have helped morgana. end of. merlin helps everyone he sees, and the fact that he would just brush morgana off like that is a) shitty writing for more drama and b) a complete mischaracterisation. they deserved to be friends who tried to bring magic back to camelot together in their own ways, and considering that they’re literally opposites when it comes to personality... it would have been SO interesting.

song i associate with them: 

vanilla twilight by owl city. i have thought of this as a merlin (and merlin x arthur) song for quite a while now and wrote a whole fic based off of it! but yeah, especially the line “i’ll watch the night turn light blue / but it’s not the same without you” fucking GETS me. i always wondered how merlin coped with his grief, considering that arthur became such a pivotal part of his life, and how he realised he needed to live for himself and heal before he came back. some of that is explored in the fic! i wrote it like... almost four years ago, holy shit, so it’s not that good but have at it if you wish!

favorite picture of them: 

have this picture of merlin i actually have saved on my laptop!! he looks so good in the coronation outfit and the light is hitting his eyes just right. glorious boy!

//

arthur: 

favorite thing about them: 

i adore how arthur always wants to do the right thing, even if it means going against his father in the later seasons. he also just loves the people of his kingdom so much, even saying he’d lay down his life for the people in camelot... which you need to do as king, obviously, but something about his sincerity... and that’s another thing. he’s so sincere in everything he does! i love him :’)

least favorite thing about them: 

emotionally constipated arrogant BRAT fhsnfhsn lmaooo i love him, and he gets better with the arrogance and the emotional constipation (not so much on the brat front :/) in the later seasons. i just... adore his character development so much!

favorite line: 

okay. i have two off the top of my head although he has some RAW fucking lines as well. “for the love of camelot!” always gets me btw but that’s not a part of this. 

so number one, “i couldn’t bear to lose you.” this ties in with the thing about character development i was talking about earlier, because s1 arthur would have never said this to merlin, even if they had a great relationship. and also... that line is just so fucking raw, especially hearing arthur refer to merlin as his friend when arthur doesn’t refer to anyone else as a friend. just... the fact that he’s saying that he literally could not take it if merlin went missing or died, he couldn’t bear the weight of that on his shoulders as he bears everything else on his shoulders... it makes my heart clench every time. and how open and honest that is, how he lays everything out on the table--merlin is a vital part of his life, so much so that he couldn’t picture his life without him.

and secondly: “just hold me.” it doesn’t matter how many times i watch that finale, that line always gets me. how all arthur wants to do in his last moments is be held by merlin, and as said by the showrunners themselves i believe... he died peacefully in the arms of someone who loved him. the way that he gives up and he doesn’t say anything else, not things he needs to do after he dies or messages to give others... but only three words. “just hold me.” all he wants is to be held, and it gets me every time.

brotp: 

aaaaaa arthur and morgana!!! the best siblings, they deserved so much better and so many more banter-y scenes together :( 

otp: 

merlin x arthur, no doubt baby!

notp: 

hmmm, i don’t think i particularly have a famed arthur ship that i dislike... arthur x gwen is good!! just not my cup of tea i think, i like merlin x arthur and morgana x gwen more. do people ship morgana x arthur? if so, no. they’re literally siblings.

random headcanon: 

arthur is FASCINATED by magic. in a better world, after merlin had told him about his magic, he would have endlessly pestered merlin about this and that and being so impressed with every small feat of magic merlin did. merlin conjures up a light dragon and arthur is all “:D merlin do that again!!!” i love arthur being a little kid and getting to have the childhood he never had, makes me feel warm :’)

unpopular opinion: 

i know it wasn’t his fault but i cannot BELIEVE he gave up right then and there during the finale. they were so close :(( i cannot accept that ending man i’m just sad

song i associate with them: 

king and lionheart by of monsters and men. i think the merlin fandom is pretty much unified on the opinion of this being a merlin x arthur song and it’s just... such a good arthur song as well! man... especially the line of “as the world comes to an end, i’ll be there to hold your hand” like... if that isn’t arthur talking to merlin... nonnie you’ve made me emotional over how much i love them again :(

favorite picture of them: 

no doubt in my mind that this is my absolute favourite picture of arthur. the tender expression in his eyes as he looks at merlin over at the fire... i don’t have words for it. bradley truly outdid himself here man!

send me a character!

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Chaldeas Grand Road Trip Zine (on Twitter)! The basic premise was to write diary entries from Mash’s PoV, talking about her worldwide vacation (with Senpai and all the servants, of course!). I got assigned the Food section (did they know I’m a glutton? XD). I tried to inject the premise in the story, so it should be understandable even without reading the others/seeing the pictures.

Summary: Dear Diary, I never knew the world could be so big. That it could have so many people and places and things to do. It’s one thing to fight your way across a singularity, another to take the time to enjoy yourself. I think I like having a vacation. From, Mash

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Road Trip Day: X

There are so many things to see and do in the world! I mean, I knew that before we went on vacation; traveling with Senpai to the singularities showed me that much. You can’t go to Rome, Egypt, or cross the entire United States without realizing that. But most of our journey was spent fighting monsters and servants; we’re so busy saving the world we didn’t really get time to explore.

 Well, I did explore little, but you can't tell Senpai that. Not that you can, you're just a digital log entry…I'll just have to make sure Senpai doesn't see this myself. They can't know I gave anything less than 100% to helping them out, no matter how interesting the winding roads were.  

 Now that we aren’t in a hurry, I’ve just realized how big the world is. Normally we’re running from place to place (or being catapulted from place to place, I really hope we don’t do that again) and with a Servant’s speed, it didn’t take that long to cross entire countries. The cars we’re using now are slower; Da Vinci said she wanted a leisurely trip. Every time I look out the window, the scenery is so different—I never knew there could be so many different kinds of cities or even trees. Every time I blink, I miss something.

Last night, Da Vinci pulled out a map and put pins on all the places we’ve gone to. Amazingly, that’s just a tiny fraction of the world! One day, I would like to see every city on that map. With Senpai, of course. I wonder if they like travelling? Ishtar happened to be floating by and she declared we needed to eat out more often. I think Romani was trying to save money by having Emiya cook. When I told her that, she snorted and said we had royalty and gods with us, so money wasn’t an issue. (I don’t think that’s true.) She also said that no matter how good a cook Emiya was, we needed to try new things. Later, I’ll tell Emiya that a goddess complimented his cooking. I’m sure that’ll make him happy!

 Funnily enough, Hokusai poked her head in and agreed with Ishtar. She pulled out these little sculptures she’d made (I guess she’s not only a painter) and placed them on the board at the places she wanted to visit. Apparently, Paris is a great place to eat. And to pick up women, but I’m sure Senpai won’t do that.

 Probably.

 Well, even if Senpai did, they have their hands full with all of us. I’m not sure it was a great idea to go on vacation with every servant, but Senpai didn’t want to leave anyone behind. They’re really admirable but I’m worried about their health. It must be exhausting keeping us all around. I’ll have to make sure to keep an eye out for them. Maybe one day I can pay them back, impress them like they’ve impressed me.

 The little figurines Hokusai made are really cute! There’s one for the Eiffel Tower, the Leaning Tower, and the Pyramids. Shuten put down one that was shaped like a wine glass on Italy and said we had to go there. Italy is filled with many, many vineyards and “we can’t miss even one delectable ambrosia,” as she put it. Excited, Da Vinci started booking some tours, but Romani quickly vetoed the whole thing. I think he regretted saying anything immediately, since all four servants glared at him.

 Now that I’m remembering it, I might have to protect him. Shuten is an assassin, after all.

 When we started talking about food, it was funny how red Ishtar got after all of her suggestions. Apparently, she really wanted to eat burgers. The second she said that, she looked at everyone like she was waiting to be insulted, saying that she knew a goddess shouldn’t eat such poor food. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it myself.

Shuten said she wanted to have some Baijiu. Romani started to point out that it was alcohol too but the second she looked at him, he shut up…

 I am definitely checking up on him when I’m done writing. Maybe Senpai and I can sleep with him tonight, just to make sure nothing happens.

 “Obviously, I’ll have pasta,” Da Vinci said, but I’m pretty sure she’s going to find a way to go to those vineyards. Houksai said she was fine eating anywhere there were beautiful people so she wanted to go to a runway in Milan to eat. Maybe we’ll get to see a fashion show too, that would be really interesting!

 It’s funny, but Archer is such a good cook, I sometimes forget that even he can’t cook everything. Even with Tamano Cat and some of the other servants pitching in to help, there are a lot of dishes we don’t get at Chaldea. I think I want to try eating some of the curries in India; we don’t really get spicy food that often. Hopefully, my tongue won’t burn too much.

 I wonder what Senpai wants to eat?

 -Mash

  Road Trip Day: X

Remember that map I talked about before? Well, we got to fulfill Ishtar’s dreams first! America’s huge, far bigger than any of the other countries we’ve been to. I should have expected that when we criss-crossed the country before, for that singularity, but there’s something still very impressive about it. Every place here looks so different from one another and somehow they all fit in one country! And the roads are so long, somehow we can go for hours without seeing a major city.

 Anyways, when we stopped for lunch today, we got burgers. Emiya wrinkled his nose when we entered, but he didn’t say anything. I think he’s feeling a little jealous these days since he hasn’t had to cook much. When we get back, I’ll make sure to ask him for food.

 The restaurant was a big place, with plenty of booths to sit in, but no place is big enough to fit all of us in it. Artoria practically dashed to the counter and immediately ordered every burger on the menu. Senpai looked at the queue of sabers and said that we should take turns, so the place wasn’t entirely overwhelmed. Considering how much Camelot’s King eats, in all of her forms, I thought Senpai’s plan was doomed to fail from the start. Don’t tell Senpai that, though. They’re trying their best to make sure we all have an equally fun vacation.

 Despite Senpai’s suggestion, Mordred joined the queue of Artorias, looking really happy that she could eat with her fathers. I wonder what she thinks about having so many dads, it must be complicated.

 Ozymandias and Cleopatra weren’t really interested in eating commoner’s fare, as they put it. They opted instead to dine with Gil and Iskander and they had a picnic outside. I think they missed out, personally, but I can see why they didn’t want to come. Can you imagine Gil eating a burger, ketchup dripping down his hands, mustard on his lips? He’d destroy the restaurant and us in it.

 Nitocris looked really nervous when the other pharaohs asked her to join them. She said yes but kept playing with her hands and looking away at us. There was something really frantic about the way she did that. Thinking it was a secret message, I winked and gave her a thumbs up. It must have been the wrong thing because she looked really depressed after that. Luckily, Senpai was much better at reading minds because they asked Nitocris to join us. Even then, Nitocris hesitated until Ozymandias clapped her on the back, pushing her forward. He asked her to tell him what commoners ate these days. Wouldn’t it be better if he just joined us then?

 Still, he, Cleopatra, and Nitocris look really close. Hopefully I’ll be that close with Senpai too one day.

 Sheba joined us as well. I wonder why, she didn’t seem like the type to like such places. By the time we got in, the staff looked exhausted. Ishtar was worried but luckily they still had food left. Did they know that they fed royalty and gods today?

 There were so many burgers on the menu, I didn’t know what to pick. Nitocris kept muttering under her breath how she had to pick the most dignified burger. How do you decide what a ‘dignified burger’ is? Ishtar didn’t have any issues; she ordered three different ones with extra fries and double patties. When we looked at her, she huffed and said she wanted to try multiple ones and “I’m a goddess, I can eat whatever I want to! Stop judging me!”

 I wasn’t judging her!

 Senpai picked a simple burger and I copied them. That way, we could compare later.

 The servers kept staring Sheba the whole time. Actually, everyone kept staring at her. Sometimes they’d look at Ishtar and Nitocris but then they’d go back to her. I wonder what part was stranger: her clothing or her ears? I’ve gotten used to it by now, but I keep forgetting it’s not normal everywhere else.

 The burgers they gave us were huge! I could barely fit my hands around them and ketchup and pickles kept falling out of the bun. It was a messy, messy meal. By the end of it, Senpai’s hands were covered in ketchup and pickle juice and there was a stain on her shirt. Oddly enough, Sheba didn’t have any issues. While I kept having small nibbles, she ate the whole thing in big, quick bites. I guess she was really hungry.

 Oh, Senpai’s calling me! We have to do laundry today so our clothes don’t stain.

 -Mash

  Road Trip Day: X

 Karna and Arjuna were at it again today. Well, ‘at it’ makes it sound like they always fight, which isn’t exactly the case. They’re old friends (kinda, at least I don’t think they’re rivals anymore) and they often are on the opposite sides of things. Actually, putting it like that really makes it sound like all they do is fight. But they don’t argue like, say, Nero and Elizabeth.

 No one fights like those two.

 Karna came out of nowhere and asked Senpai if he could take them out for lunch. With all that Senpai’s done for him, he wanted to show a little gratitude and give something back. He’s so considerate! Of course, Senpai being Senpai, they said that it wasn’t needed (they’re so kind!), but Karna insisted. As we headed out, Arjuna appeared and asked if he could treat me! I think he didn’t want to be one-upped by Karna but I haven’t really done anything to get any thanks. When I said that, he shook his head and said that I helped out a lot. That without me, Senpai might not have made it as far as they did.

 I’d never thought about it like that. While I’m sure Senpai would have figure something out, I’m glad to think I was of some use.

 Senpai and I were dragged to a diner, and Jinako tagged along because she thought it looked fun. The diner was very old. Or at least, it seemed really old. It looked like something from an old movie, where boys in gelled hair and leather jackets ask out girls in pretty pink dresses. You might be wondering how I know about that—Senpai and I have been watching movies lately! They wanted to share their favourites with me, especially after they found out I didn’t really watch that many movies before now. Actually, I haven’t read that many books either. Maybe I can ask Senpai for their favourite books too.

 The one we watched recently was filled with dancing, singing teenagers. I spent most of lunch hoping Senpai would ask me dance, but they didn’t understand my hints. I’ll try again next time.

 The diner had a checkered floor and our shoes clicked as we made our way to a booth. There was a really warm atmosphere to the place, cozy-like, and I wanted to curl up with a mug of hot chocolate. Arjuna ordered an ice cream sundae; it came in a long glass and looked like a flower. It was very pretty. And tasty—Arjuna almost gulped it all down. Only when his head hurt did he stop. I think that was his first brain freeze.

 The item on the menu that caught my eye was a chicken and waffle sandwich. They use waffles instead of bread! It was weird; waffles are for breakfast! You have them with syrup! But I was having them with fried chicken and it would have been weird to add syrup to that. Still, it didn’t taste that bad. I think I might try it again.

 Karna wasn’t going to order anything but Senpai forced him too. He always looks so surprised when we worry over him; I’ll have to remind him more often how important he is! As considerate as ever, Karna ended up ordering a platter with chili and sandwiches and shared it with Jinako.

 While we ate, old music played. There was a machine in the diner called a ‘jukebox’. If you put a coin in it, it’ll play a song. It had a limited selection of music and most of the songs were old hits. Apparently, this was how people used to listen to music, before they had cellphones. Senpai said the music was very nostalgic. I didn’t understand how, but I was glad Senpai liked it!

 When the bill came, Arjuna and Karna kept tugging back and forth on it. Both of them insisted that they should be the one to pay, that it was their treat. In the end, Senpai grabbed the bill and said it was their treat now. Karna argued that we shouldn’t waste a dime on someone like him, but that only made Senpai mad. They growled that if Karna every said anything like that again, he was going to help Emiya in the kitchens for a month.

 Considering how much the Artorias eat, I wouldn’t wish that one anyone.

 I’m going to watch another movie with Senpai tonight. I wonder what they’ll pick this time.

 -Mash

  Road Trip Day: X

 Hokusai must have been very happy today, as we are in Paris! I didn’t see her all day so I think she was out drawing people. Or picking up women. I hope it’s not the latter. Da Vinci told her earlier that if she wanted to paint a beautiful person, then she should just draw her. Hokusai said she didn’t want to draw anyone that old.

 It was a horrific fight. If Hokusai brings back anyone, they’ll be in danger.

 There were so many things to see here! There was the Eiffel Tower--we climbed the stairs since the elevator was so long. Senpai looked exhausted after that and I offered to carry them on my back. Unfortunately, they declined. The view from there was nice, especially as we got higher and higher. Jeanne D’Arc offered to translate for us since all of the tourist information was written in French. She was like a knight in shining armour. I’ll have to study that when we get home.

 After that, we went to the Louvre since it was nearby. Did you know there was a glass pyramid there? It’s a lot smaller than the real ones but it is completely see-through. Inside it there’s an escalator that takes you down to buy tickets and enter the museum. It’s kinda like being in a spy movie, with secret entrances and hidden rooms!

 None of the pharaohs looked impressed by the pyramid. Actually, Nitocris was really excited at first, declaring that Egypt had successfully conquered Paris. Ozymandias stepped in then, crossing his arms and sneering at the pyramid. Apparently it was too small to be considered anything worth while, a terrible imitation of a pyramid. Cleopatra declared it wasn’t cute enough. I didn’t know pyramids could be cute.

 That’s when Marie Antoinette stepped in. Unable to take it anymore, she announced that we were going to see France in all her glory. Starting with brunch, of course. As the queen of the country, it was her duty to show us all of the beauty of Paris, from food to the arts. Or so she said—I don’t think they were really insulting France, but she was so enthusiastic about it that I didn’t want to stop her.

 We ate at a restaurant where we could see the Louvre. There, we got an amazing spread of cheese, croissants, puffed pastries, and other French treats. For just a little while, I could see what it was like to be queen. Did Marie eat this every day, I wonder? What did the pharaohs have? When we go to Egypt, I’ll ask them to take Marie and us out.

 I liked the tarts the best. They were soft, fruity, and with a little hint of sugar sprinkled on top. If only we could have one every day for breakfast. Senpai’s a messy eater, so a light coating of sugar ended up on their nose. Sadly, they wouldn’t let me wipe it off. Nitocris kept playing with the crossiants—she put one on one of her Medjeds, saying that they now had a French hairstyle. The pastry was really flaky (and buttery!), I hope the Medjeds can wash themselves.

 Cleopatra looked the happiest to be there, even happier than Nitocris, which I didn’t think was possible. She kept trying different treats, taking a bite out of everything she saw. If she didn’t like it, she slipped it under the table for a Medjed to take. Senpai said that that was what it was like to have a pet dog. I’ll try that with Fou next time.

 Out of all of them, Ozymandias was the least interested in the food. Despite Marie’s best attempts, he preferred to drink wine instead. At 11 am, I think it was too early to drink (though Shuten probably would be on his side). He kept swirling his glass, looking out the window at the pyramid. In the end, he declared that while the pyramid was still substandard, the wine was not. That there was some value to France, after all.

 Marie didn’t seem to like that at all. I think she wanted him to like the food too. After this, she’s going to take us out to more places like her former palace! If it’s anything like the Louvre, it’ll be huge. My feet are still sore from walking through the giant museum. They had everything in there; I didn’t see even a fraction of all the paintings and sculptures they have. I’m not sure if I can take a second palace that big.

 -Mash

  Road Trip Day: X

 While we spent most of our trip inside proper hotels (Romani says it’s because it’s a vacation and we deserve the best, but sometimes I look at Da Vinci and I’m not sure that’s the real reason), today we went camping. It’s really dark right now and I’m writing this in front of a slowly dying campfire. I feel like I’m a pioneer, only without the quill ink and paper scroll. We’ve been in cities so much and something’s always happening at home, so I kind of forgot what it’s like when it’s quiet. Like it used to be, back when it was just me, Romani, and Da Vinci. There aren’t too many servants awake right now and while I feel like I’m in the middle of a tent city, it also feels like I’m the only person in the world right now.

 It’s kind of hard to describe why. The fire’s crackling softly and I can hear all sorts of wild animals in the distance. Hooting owls, chattering raccoons, the rustle of squirrels running through the trees. If I look up, the stars spread endlessly above me. I could stare at them for hours. They make me feel small.

 I might have spent too much time with Murasaki; I’m starting to sound like a poet!

 Bunyan was very happy that we’re camping. Forests like this one are her home and she wanted to sharpen her blade on some nearby trees. Senpai stopped her, saying that they couldn’t do that in a national park. Romani looked very relieved when she agreed; I think he wanted to stop her too.

 We had breakfast for dinner tonight. It was so strange! Instead of our usual meal, we had pancakes. There was something funny about eating pancakes in the middle of the night, before I sleep instead of when I wake up. This time, since we weren’t near any restaurants, Emiya volunteered to cook our pancakes. He might have missed running the kitchen, though he really should take the time for a break too.

 Abigail was very happy to have pancakes. She and Shuten sat down next to Bunyan, who was making her own pancakes. Apparently Emiya’s pancakes weren’t light and fluffy enough for her. I didn’t think Shuten would be that interested in pancakes, but she eagerly took one of Bunyan’s. Then she poured a bottle of sake on it.

 I have had pancakes before. You’re supposed to use syrup on it, not alcohol! Does it even taste good that way? Well, Shuten thought so at least. She sighed happily with each bite. With her plate (that was more like a bowl), she practically drowned the pancake in alcohol. Abigail watched her the entire time and when she got her second pancake, she asked if she could also have some. Shuten was feeling really generous, so she started to pour it on Abigail’s and Bunyan’s.

 I wonder if Shuten just wanted someone to drink with, especially since we didn’t go to a vineyard? I won’t tell Romani about this. She wanted to give me some sake too, but Senpai happened to be nearby and stopped her before she could. Now I’m curious to know what that tastes like.

 Even without sake, the pancakes were delicious. They were so soft and fluffy, they almost melted on my tongue with the sweet, sugary maple syrup. I ended up getting thirds. After that, we made smores. They’re made by combining chocolate, marshmallows, and crackers. When they’re made right, they just melt into each other. Senpai and Bunyan were good at that. I’m not. I kept burning the marshmallows or they’d melt off my stick and hit the ground. We’re camping for a few more days, hopefully I’ll get it right next time. As kind as ever, Senpai gave me some of their smores.

 It was the sweetest dessert I’ve ever had.

 Oh, I heard a coyote! I think I’ll stop writing here today, I want to spend a little time just sitting here, listening.

 -Mash

  Road Trip Day: X

 After all the food we ate, I want to try to make something for everyone. Nothing big, I’m not good enough at cooking for that yet. It’s just that…well, we went to so many places and tried so many different foods…I guess you can say I’m feeling inspired! Our vacation isn’t over yet, so I can’t cook at Chaladea’s big kitchen, but maybe I can make a tiny meal for Romani, Da Vinci, and Senpai.

 We’re in Singapore. When I told him what I was doing, Astolfo said he wanted to tag along. Apparently he likes to visit different markets and sample food. That way, he can have a little bit of everything. While Astolfo is usually very cheerful, his voice was quieter and sadder when he said that. One of his friends didn’t get to see much of the world, so he wants to experience it for him. Maybe he’s keeping a diary too, filling it up with stories and pictures like I am. I hope one day he can share it with his friend. It’d be nice if they could travel together.

 Sometimes I’ve seen him and Jeanne talking together. They don’t like exactly sad, but they aren’t happy either. Maybe they both miss the same friend. Next time, I’ll ask her to join us—it’d be great if they could make some happy memories too.

 Singapore is a small country, more like a giant city than a country really. It’s so easy to travel here even without Da Vinci’s help—the public transit takes you everywhere. The ground is really clean too, I haven’t seen a place like that since we went to Kyoto. There was a sign on the subway that said we couldn’t take any durians on it. I made sure not to use that.

 The hardest part of today was choosing what market to visit. There are several different cultures here, so there are many unique markets. There’s an Indian market, with the scent of spices wafting through the hair. There’s a Chinese market, filled with brightly coloured stalls and small pop up shops. There’s a Malaysian market and, well, there’s just a lot of places to buy food here! Even when you go to the mall, there were markets in the basement to buy food. We went through one that had narrow corridors and dozens of small shops trying to sell snacks to us. It was hard to walk, not just because of the space, but also because I didn’t know where to look. Luckily, Astolfo was used to this, so he led me from shop to shop, asking for samples. I don’t think I could have done that on my own; I would have felt guilty for not buying anything after.

 It’s impossible to list everything we ate, but I’ll try! There were dumplings: fried, boiled, stuffed with pork, beef, shrimp, covered in sauce or covered in nothing. We had a chili crab, which was a bit hot. There was a famous chicken curry from a small shop that apparently had a Michelin star! It was kind of funny, I was going to a world-famous restaurant but I didn’t have to dress fancy. The line for that one was long. We had Kaya jam on toast—I don’t think I’m fond of it, but it was something different.

 Astolfo actually had a list of signature dishes he wanted us to try. He must have done a lot of research before we left for this trip. I think I might have eaten too much; even now, hours later, I’m full. I don’t need dinner tonight.

 The nice thing was that a lot of food could be eaten while we walked. Astolfo grinned at me when I ate grilled eel, and said it was nice to travel with others for once. He called it a date—I would have dressed up nicer if I’d known! He’s far prettier than me. Everyone kept turning to stare at him when we passed by. I’m sure even Senpai would have looked at him if they were here.

 Emiya had given us a list of things to buy while we were out. Mangos, apples, a selection of crabs—I think he’s going to try to make a dish from Singapore. Some of the items on the list were new to me, I wonder what they taste like. While I expected to see many new sights when we travelled, I didn’t think about all the new sounds, tastes, and smells I’d experience too. This journey has been a lesson in just how vast the world is, and just how much of it I didn’t know anything about. How much I still don’t know now, even after all that we’ve done.

 It’s nice. There’s still so much to do. I don’t think I can ever get bored.

 Anyways, while I can’t eat dinner, this doesn’t mean Senpai, Da Vinci, or Romani will be skipping it! It’s almost dinner time and I need to start cooking. To be honest, it’s kind of intimidating to eat all the delicious food here and then try to make something. Maybe I can ask Emiya for some tips.

 -Mash

[oldstonedjenny]

For the killer queen always wanting more. The lioness licking her chops of the blood of her enemies. When all you see is enemies, you have to hold onto your pride. For hair grows back. A Cersei Lannister playlist.

Link in the picture.

Playlist

Apex Predator - Barret Wilbert Weed //

Like a lioness Only with less fur Do not mess with her She’s the apex predator

Oops!...I Did It Again - Britney Spears //

  Oops!... I did it again I played with your heart Got lost in the game Oh, baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent

Evil Woman - Electric Light Orchestra //

Hey woman, you got the blues 'Cause you ain't got no one else to use There's an open road that leads nowhere So just make some miles between here and there There's a hole in my head where the rain comes in You took my body and played to win Ha, ha, woman, it's a cryin' shame But you ain't got nobody else to blame

Devil Woman - Cliff Richard //

  I drank the potion she offered me I found myself on the floor Then I looked in those big green eyes And I wondered what I came there for

Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates //

  I wouldn't if I were you I know what she can do She's deadly, man She could really rip your world apart Mind over matter Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

bad guy - Billie Eilish //

  I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy

you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish //

  You should see me in a crown Your silence is my favorite sound Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one One by one by one

Primadonna - Marina and The Diamonds //

  Primadonna girl, yeah All I ever wanted was the world I can't help that I need it all The primadonna life, the rise and fall You say that I'm kinda difficult But it's always someone else's fault

Power & Control - Marina and The Diamonds //

Women and men, we are the same But love will always be a game We give and take a little more Eternal game of tug and war

Hot N Cold - Katy Perry //

We used to be just like twins, so in sync The same energy, now's a dead battery Used to laugh (Used to laugh) 'bout nothing ('Bout nothing) Now you're plain (Now you're plain) boring (Boring) I should know (I should know) that you're not gonna change

Blank Space - Taylor Swift //

So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over, mm If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game

Fancy - Iggy Azalea // 

I'm so fancy, you already know I'm in the fast lane, from L.A. to Tokyo I'm so fancy, can't you taste this gold? Remember my name, 'bout to blow-oh-oh-oh

Glamorous - Fergie ft. Ludacris //

(If you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home, you say it!) My daddy told me so ("If you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home!") He let his daughter know (He said, if you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home, you say it!)

You’ll be Back - Jonathan Groff //

You’ll be back, soon you’ll see You’ll remember you belong to me You’ll be back, time will tell You’ll remember that I served you well Oceans rise, empires fall We have seen each other through it all And when push comes to shove I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!

Black Widow - Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Orta //

You used to be thirsty for me But now you wanna be set free This is the web, web that you weave So baby now rest in peace (It's all over with now)

Death by Diamonds and Pearls - Band of Skulls //

You got your figure all nice But your heart stays colder than ice You got 25 grand on the bubble And you're the one telling me that you don't think you're in trouble

Hope in the Air - Laura Marling //

There's hope in the air There's hope in the water But sadly not me Your last serving daughter

Mordred’s Lullaby - Heather Dale //

Guileless son, each day you grow older Each moment I'm watching my vengeance unfold For the child of my body, the flesh of my soul Will die in returning the birthright he stole

Cold As It Gets - Patty Griffin //

I know a cold as cold as it gets I fight a war I may never see won I live only to see you live to regret Everything that you've done

My Medea - Vienna Teng //

For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free

King Nothing - Metallica //

Then it all crashes down And you break your crown And you point your finger But there's no one around Just want one thing Just to play the king But the castle crumbled And you're left with just a name Where's your crown, King Nothing?

Power - Kanye West //

Thinking no one man should have all that power The clock's ticking, I just count the hours Stop tripping, I'm tripping off the powder 'Til then, fuck that, the world’s ours

Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco //

I'm taking back the crown I'm all dressed up and naked I see what's mine and take it (Finders keepers, losers weepers), oh yeah The crown, so close, I can taste it I see what's mine and take it

King Of The World - Porcelain and The Tramps //

My pain-filled drama queen Is always creeping at your back Getting ready to buy you out 'Cause we all know What goes around comes around You shoulda known what I was all about Do not test me

Killer Queen - Queen //

She keeps a Moët et Chandon in her pretty cabinet Let them eat cake she says, just like Marie Antoinette A built-in remedy for Khrushchev and Kennedy (Ooh, ooh) At anytime an invitation, you can't decline (Ooh, ooh)

Bitch - The Plastiscines //

I’m a Bitch, in disguise

I’m a Bitch, who never hides

I’m a Bitch, did you realize?

I’m a Bitch, every time

God Save the Queen - Sex Pistols //

God save the queen The fascist regime They made you a moron Potential H-bomb God save the queen She ain't no human being

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia //

So come on now Strike the match Strike the match now A perfect match Perfect, somehow We were meant for one another Come a little closer

Burn It Up - The Offspring //

Tonight this hood will be a pyre I'm going to set your house on fire I'll dance around the pretty flames

Such a wonderful game!

GRRRLS - AVIVA //

I can't fake it, I'll just make it on my own (on my own) I can't blame them, I'll just maim them on my throne (on my throne) I can't fake it, I'll just make it on my own (on my own) I can't blame them, I've just got to get to my throne

Monster - Kanye West //

Gossip, gossip, nigga, just stop it Everybody know I'm a motherfucking monster

Kingdom of One - Maren Morris //

All you can give, all you can bear Look to your heart, but nothing is there When nothing is sacred, no one is safe

Hollow Crown - Ellie Goulding //

You know you’re fighting in a losing battle Making a noose out of your hollow crown I hold a match up to your paper castle And watch it all burn down, down, down

The Ballad of Sara Berry - 35 MM //

You taste the silver, Sara! You taste the crown You thirst for blood from the roses in hand Whoa, you spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance As they crown you Queen of High School Land