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emachinescat · 4 years ago

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Night and Morning with My Tears

A Merlin Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 20 - betrayal

Summary: Takes place when Merlin is Morgana’s prisoner in "A Servant of Two Masters.” When Morgana looks into Merlin’s eyes, what she sees there surprises and angers her in equal measure. Merlin has no right to act betrayed, not when his betrayal was so much worse.

Characters: Morgana, Merlin

Words: 1,756

TW: None

Notes: Takes place during “A Master of Two Servants,” with flashbacks to “The Fires of Idirsholas,” so there will be spoilers for both of those episodes!

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

I was angry with my friend:

I told my wrath, my wrath did end.

I was angry with my foe:

I told it not, my wrath did grow.

- From “A Poison Tree” by William Blake

And I watered it in fears.

Night and morning with my tears:

And I sunned it with smiles.

And with soft deceitful wiles.

Morgana Pendragon stands before her prisoner, eyes cold and green like the deep forest. Despite her anger at her men for failing so miserably in their task, she cannot say that she is displeased to see Merlin again. Although the servant’s mere presence incites a furnace of rage within her, he could prove very useful in her plans to kill Arthur – and if she is able to play with him in the process, make him pay for what he did to her sister, then all the better.

Merlin hangs, unconscious, from his wrists. He is too tall for the stooping ceiling of her hovel, so his legs fold awkwardly beneath him. His chin rests against his chest, and he sports a nasty wound on one shoulder. She will probably end up healing it eventually, as infection is beginning to set in. She needs Merlin healthy for her plans for him. Still, she supposes she can let him suffer a bit before she takes on the task of cleaning the wound. Any amount of pain he endures will be nothing compared to what he has inflicted upon her, time and time again.

When she throws a cold bucket of water into his face, he wakes, coughing, and gasping; she smirks. When he regains his bearings and locks eyes with her, any satisfaction or pleasure she receives from his struggles melts away like candle wax under a flame. It has been a long time since she has looked into those very blue eyes from mere feet away, and what she finds in them is unsettling and unexpected – they are familiar, but foreign, and they stir up memories that she prefers to keep hidden, even from herself.

Stolen glances, conspiring winks, soft smiles. Fighting bandits in Ealdor, not out of duty, not for Camelot, but out of loyalty, for a friend. Defeating a clay monster, teasing Arthur, smuggling Mordred out of the citadel. This is a part of her life so disconnected from herself that she has all but convinced herself that it happened to someone else.

But a chilly fierceness has descended over his eyes like a veil, and it is as if she is looking at an entirely different person all together. Long ago, back before Morgana knew of her powers and heritage, when she was young and naive and living a life of luxury, Merlin had never failed to have a smile on his face. He spoke softly and kindly, and Morgana had loved the compassion for others she could sense in his gaze. That innocence has vanished, leaving him suspicious, cruel, and hard.

There is one emotion that Morgana detects in those blue eyes that causes a righteous fury to swell inside her like a summer tempest, tints her vision red and sends her hurtling back into her past, to the worst moment of her entire life, and she has to restrain herself from ending Merlin’s miserable existence then and there. Pace yourself, Morgana. You have use for him yet.

But it is a hard battle. Indignation seizes her heart and squeezes. How dare Merlin have the audacity to look betrayed when he looks back at her? How dare he act as if she is in the wrong, as if she is the one who has turned against her friends? Morgana has no friends, not anymore. She has no family. And she has Merlin to thank for that.

He has no right to act like she is betraying him by capturing him, holding him as her prisoner in the hovel he might as well have picked out for her. Morgana is the only one who has the right to feel betrayed – what she has planned for Merlin is nothing, nothing, compared to what he did to her.

***

Dying is strange, if you think about it. It is the one thing, other than being born, that unites all of humanity, all creatures. Two people may live out lives on opposite ends of the map, may never meet one another; one may be a king, the other a slave, one a scholar, the other a simpleton. And yet, someday, they both will die. Death unites us all, even as it tears us apart. The funny thing is, although everyone is plodding forward to the same destiny, only those who have walked the path to completion know what it is like. Death is the great equalizer, but no one who meets it can divulge its secret. It is at once the most common experience of mankind and its greatest secret.

Morgana came closer to discovering that secret than most people who have played the delicate strings of life and death when she was poisoned by a man she called her friend. Even now, when she recalls that moment when she realized that something was wrong – I can’t breathe, oh gods – her blood drains from her body and fear replaces it, cold and numbing and terrible. She remembers with complete clarity the feel of her throat swelling, can hear the rasp of her breath and see her vision becoming a vignette, dark around the edges, closing in, prowling ever closer.

Dying was bad enough. Dying of poison, feeling her body shut down, attack itself, turn on her, was hell. By far the worst part of Morgana’s death, however, was the moment she realized who was responsible. Her entire world came crashing down when her eyes, bulging from the panicked strain of trying to pull in breath where none existed, traveled from the discarded water-skin to the servant she called her friend. If she had doubted his involvement before, it was confirmed with the expression on his face. He reeked of regret and guilt; shame radiated off of him and contaminated the air around them.

Merlin had poisoned her. Merlin, the clumsy, goofy, kind-hearted, loyal servant of the prince, the man she had risked her life for more than once, who had treated her like a person instead of royalty, who had been her friend when she felt alone and afraid as her powers blossomed – Merlin was killing her. It was like she had been stabbed in the heart, that realization, and for a brief moment that could have been the rest of her life, that knowledge that she was dying at the hand of her friend hurt far more than her closing airway, than her lungs starved for air, than the pain and the fear and the darkness of death swooping ever closer.

She backed away, her limbs clumsy; they no longer belonged to her, only the living had use of them. Through pain-hazed vision, she watched as Merlin walked over, sat near her, saw his lips move without hearing his words, and then he was gathering her into his arms, holding her close, and she tried to fight, tried to call out, tried to escape, but – she was helpless.

He sat with her, held her, rocked her like she was a child, and she felt his face against the top of her head, felt warm tears hit her scalp, and she couldn’t breathe, her ears rang like tinny chimes and her vision flickered, her hands and feet tingled like she’d been sitting on them all day, and her chest wouldn’t move.

Oh gods.

The feel of his touch made her want to scream, burning vile fingerprints into her skin. She heard a terrible noise, a choking, garbled sound, and realized it was her. She tried to squirm away from him, from this disgusting facsimile of comfort, partially wondering what his game was, why he was acting like he cared about her, what he could possibly gain by holding her as she died of a poison he had administered. The other part of her knew that it didn’t matter, and resigned itself to the fact that the last touch she was going to feel before she died was that of the man who had killed her.

Her last few seconds of consciousness were comprised of pure terror; she floated in that empty space between life and death, felt everything and nothing, and was consumed by her fear and the overwhelming, blood-freezing understanding that she didn’t want to die. She had done nothing to deserve this; she had only been his friend. It didn’t matter that she didn’t wish for death, that she had plans for her life, that she could have made a difference, that she had a sister she was just getting to know and that she could do so much more. All control had been stripped away, any choice and free will had been stolen in an act of violence and betrayal that she simply could not understand.

Right before she gave in to the pain and the cold and the dark, she realized that she hated Merlin.

When she awoke, sometime later, to Morgause’s concerned brown eyes, not knowing how she could be alive but grateful nonetheless, that feeling of hatred hadn’t dimmed. In fact, it had grown, and it continued to fester, burrowing deep into her soul like a cherished tumor, one that she fed and nurtured, loved and despised in equal measure.

And she waited, knowing that a time would come to repay Merlin for the terrible sins he had committed against her, for taking the trust she had in him and crushing it beneath his ratty servant’s boot.

***

No, Merlin does not deserve to feel betrayed, to look at her through eyes tinted with hurt. He has no right to speak of loyalty, or friends. He pretends at being loyal to Arthur, but Morgana has seen his heart, has felt the rot inside of his soul, and knows that it is only a matter of time before he betrays his beloved king as well. Merlin is no mere servant – he is a hollow man, filled only with cruelty and hate, and sooner or later, he will destroy everything he loves.

Morgana is only helping that process along with the Fomorroh. She relishes the look of betrayal melting into fear. His wide eyes and hitched breath whisper comfort to her innermost hurts.

And when he screams, she smiles.

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swanqueeneverafter · 5 years ago

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Sins of the Past Pt.22

Camelot. (Elsa, Kristoff and Anna make their latest sweep of the castle while Anna explains what she saw at the marketplace.) Anna: "Why would she be cloaking her appearance from us if she didn't feel guilty about something?" Elsa: "I agree it's more than a little suspect." Anna: (Scoffs:) "Suspect? I'll bet you anything that Morgause was the one who killed Lady Helen and pretended to be her at your birthday party." Kristoff: "Woah, that's a pretty huge accusation. Do you have any proof of that?" Anna: "I don't need proof, it's a gut feeling." Kristoff: "Okay, but Morgana would still have to have known about it if that’s true and Elsa thinks she's innocent." Elsa: "I did not use the word ‘innocent’. She's definitely up to something, but I don't believe Morgana is fully aware of all Morgause's movements." Anna: "You think Morgause did this by herself without Morgana's knowledge?" Elsa: "I don’t know, but one thing is for sure, Morgause is not acting alone."

Maleficent's Holding Cell. (Deep beneath the castle, Maleficent is suspended by her wrists and feet against the wall. Opening the cell door, Aredian enters, a smug grin upon his face.) Aredian: "Ah, Maleficent. Well, I hope you've found some relief now that your ordeal is almost at an end." Maleficent: "Your concern is touching, Aredian. (She spits at him:) Get out of my sight!" Aredian: "Ha! Of course, I just thought you'd want to hear the news, that's all." Maleficent: "What news?" Aredian: "Your daughter is almost certain to be purchased by the end of the day. It seems Morgause has taken a liking to her." Maleficent: "Goad me all you want, old man. You are not a Dragonlord and therefore cannot hope to control my daughter. She will never answer to you." Aredian: "Perhaps not. Then again, I've always found that people will do pretty much anything, if given the proper motivation. Say for instance, watching her mother being slowly tortured to death?" Maleficent: "And what would that prove?" Aredian: "That she loves you? That the familial bond is strong even between half-breed atrocities? It does not matter. Once I convince your daughter to change willingly into her dragon form, Morgause has a spell that will keep her trapped that way indefinitely." (He turns to leave.) Maleficent: "Wait! (Aredian stops:) I won't fight you any longer, I give you my word. Have them take me instead, please. Just let my daughter go." Aredian: (Chuckles:) "Oh, I don't bargain with monsters." (He walks out of the cell and locks the door, chuckling darkly as he leaves.) Council Chamber. (Morgana and Morgause discuss strategy.) Morgana: "So is it still your belief that Ella, will seek her vengeance upon Regina?" Morgause: "Undoubtedly. However, there are always contingencies if she does not." Morgana: "You speak of Mordred, I take it?" Morgause: (Hesitates:) "Naturally. If all else fails, he is in position to implement our last resort." Morgana: "So, our last resort, according to you, would also be our only contingency. You're certain there are no other plans I need to know about?" Morgause: (Considers her sister for a long moment:) "No, Sister.” Morgana: "Excellent. Then I see no reason as to why we cannot begin preparations for Emma Swan's trial." Morgause: (Nods:) "It shall be done, my Queen."

Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. (Emma and Regina return to the diner to hear the next challenge in the couples competition.) Emma: "You've got to be kidding." Snow White: "Well, we just thought that the first task showed how well you worked as a team, so this one should test how well you know your partner." Regina: "And you thought the best way to do that is if we swap jobs for a day?" Zelena: "Not just jobs, clothes too. (Considers:) We may let you keep your own hairstyles." Snow White: "Although bonus points would be awarded if you did decide to go the extra step." Regina: (Folding her arms:) "I see, so you two are enjoying yourselves at our expense?" Snow White: "Actually, it wasn't our idea. Mulan and Ruby came up with this task." Emma: (Flatly:) "Great." Zelena: "Oh what's the big deal? You two are always trying to get into each other's pants anyway, at least this time you'll finally get to do it in front of that audience you've secretly wanted all these years." Emma & Regina: "What?" Zelena: (Laughs:) "Don't try and deny it. You two are always doing it somewhere out in the open. (To Snow:) You just know they want to get caught. (Thinks:) Although probably not by you." Snow White: (A little flustered:) "A-anyway we're getting a little off track here. The winner of the next round will be the pair who most accurately plays the role of their partner." Zelena: "There you go, some role play thrown in too. Everyone's happy." (Zelena is all smiles while Emma and Regina glare at her and, groaning, Snow lowers her head onto the table.) Wonderland. The Boro Grove. (Will arrives, dropping his torch and calling out for Ella.) Will: “Ella! Ella! Ella, are you ohh, (Dodges a purple spray:) not today!” Ella: (Gasps and runs towards him:) “You're here!” (They hug.) Will: “Found ya. And you're in one piece. I guess we're both okay. You had me worried for a bit.” Ella: “Don't worry about anything. Everything is wonderful here. (Excitedly:) You've got to see this!” (Ella grabs Will’s hand and pulls him along the grove.) Will: “Slow down.” Ella: “Come on!” (They come to a circle of flowers on the ground. In the middle of which is Ella’s sword with the necklace wrapped around it.) Will: “What the hell is that?” Ella: (Giddily:) “I made it. Isn't it pretty?” Will: (Looking around, mutters under his breath:) “What the bloody hell is going on here? (Sees the Carpenter smiling at him:) Who's that?” Ella: “Oh. That's just the Carpenter. Don't worry about him.” Will: “Right. Don't worry about the man with the saw and the scary grin.” Ella: (Picking a flower:) “Exactly.” Will: “Um how long have you been here, Ella?” Ella: “I don't remember. A while.” Will: “And you took the necklace off and just stopped everything to pick flowers? With your mother still out there?” Ella: (Thinks, scrunching up her nose:) “Yes?” Will: “Why would you do that?” Ella: “Because it makes me happy.” (Ella blithely stoops down to pick more flowers while Will stares at her with concern.)

Storybrooke. Forest. (A large crowd has gathered in an open field, just outside the mouth of the woods.) Gabrielle: (Readjusting Xena's armour:) "I remember this being a lot baggier last time I wore it." (Ruby and Mulan, who are watching this with great interest, can't help but comment.) Ruby: "That's probably because you weren't as buff back then." Mulan: "I'll say." Gabrielle: (Pursing her lips:) "You know I'm used to being ogled by sleazy guys in taverns, but you two are something else." Ruby: "Hey, we're not 'ogling', we're 'fangirling'." Mulan: "There's a difference." Gabrielle: "The producers of that show really took liberties with my scrolls. Half the things on there Xena and I never actually did." Mulan: "Well, we know about Hades. Zelena killed him." Ruby: "And Poseidon's still ruling the oceans with Ursula, but are you trying to tell us you never met Caesar or Cecrops or Joxer?" Xena: (Stepping out from behind a tree:) "Oh, Joxer was very real." (Mulan and Ruby's mouths drop. Smirking at their reactions, Gabrielle turns and gazes longingly at Xena herself.) Gabrielle: "Wow. Xena, you look amazing." Xena: "Oh give me a break, Gabrielle. You've seen me with a lot less clothes than this." Mulan: (Raising a hand:) "Not that I'm complaining..." Ruby: "No, we're definitely not complaining." Mulan: "But aren't you supposed to be wearing Gabrielle's clothes?" Xena: "Tried. (Shakes her head:) Velvet just isn't me, so I've compromised. Gabrielle is an Amazon Queen, so, seeing as Regina is also known as the Evil Queen, I thought I'd even the odds." Gabrielle: "Oh there's nothing evil about that outfit." (Xena winks and gives her a very Miss Amphipolis-esque spin.) Ruby: (Clearing her throat:) "So ladies, shall we see what the crowd thinks?" Xena: (Looks to Gabrielle, who nods:) "Lead on, you two." (Walking ahead of them, Mulan and Ruby step aside to reveal Xena and Gabrielle to the gathered masses. While the crowd cheers their approval, we see David standing at the back watching on. Just as Xena and Gabrielle begin to demonstrate their fighting skills by sparring with Mulan and Ruby, a car horn sounds behind him. Turning, he sees Snow waving from the passenger seat while Regina pulls up beside him, driving Emma's yellow bug.) Regina: "Get in loser, we're going to the Mayor's office." Outside Town Hall. (Parking up, Regina steps out of the car, stamp in hand.) Regina: "Before we go in, you two need your hands stamped. I've put the same protection spell around town hall and my office.” Snow White: (Smiling, extends her hand:) "You look so adorable, just like Emma." Regina: "Oh, please. The only thing I'm wearing of Emma's you can see is her jacket. The rest are Roni's clothes. Turns out Roni and Emma have the same taste." David: "What do you mean ‘the only thing we can see’?" Regina: (Unashamedly:) "What do you think I mean? (Enjoying both Snow and David's wince when they both realise just what other item of clothing of Emma's Regina could be wearing:) Come on, they're waiting inside."

Mayor's Office. (Beaming at the sight of her wife and daughter behind the desk, Regina walks over to them. Kissing Emma before lifting Maria out of the carrier and into her arms, Regina turns to the Charmings.) Regina: "So, what do you think?" Snow White: (Smiles:) "I think she looks at home behind the Mayor's desk." Emma: "Well I've been over, on top of and under it, so why not, right? (At David's grimace:) Sorry. Were you guys followed?" Regina: "I don't think so, but we'll soon find out if anyone's listening in should a large tree appear in the corner of the office." Emma: "Good, so where are we?" David: "Merida's positioned her people at the border while Robin and his men are working out their game plan in the forest." Snow White: "I've spoken with Tiana and Jasmine and they've both briefed their soldiers." Emma: "Great, and the Fairies?" Snow White: (Nods:) "Blue and Tinker Bell each have teams ready to go at a moment's notice." David: "Grumpy and the remaining Dwarves have been speaking with the Munchkins and with Zelena's help they're ready to attack via the tunnel systems." Regina: "Excellent. With Xena, Gabrielle, Mulan, Emma and I leading the charge with Lancelot and his knights, I can't see how Camelot has a chance." David: "Be that as it may, you know my thoughts on all this. I still don't think attacking Morgana and Morgause is the right play. Not when we have no idea how powerful their magic is." Emma: "Dad, we've done things your way long enough. We've played the waiting game, now it's time to act. One way or the other we need to find Lily and Maleficent. If it turns out they are being held in Camelot and we do nothing, can you really live with that decision?" Snow White: "I can if it means keeping you safe." (Regina and Emma exchange surprised looks.) Emma: "I appreciate that, Mom, but as you guys have told me, helping people no matter the cost, should always be the first and only choice." Camelot. Underground Holding Cell. (Still tied to her chair, Lily is rudely awakened by Aredian, who throws a bucket of water over her.) Aredian: "Oh, I'm sorry, I heard you'd been asking for water earlier? (Chuckles, to Guards:) Watch her, I'll be back with my instruments shortly."

(Aredian leaves while the two guards stand outside her cell. Unbeknownst to any of them, Lily has managed to fray the rope binding her hands behind her back.) Wonderland. The Boro Grove. (Will is anxious to leave.) Will: “Come on, Ella. We've got to find your mum, remember?” Ella: “Maybe in a little while. Have you felt the bark on this tree? It's lovely.” Will: (Ella skips away:) “I don't want to feel the bloody bark. I want you to snap out of it.” Ella: “Snap out of what?” Will: “Ella, what's wrong with you?” Ella: “Nothing! For the first time in my life, nothing's wrong. I'm happy. He's happy. Why aren't you?” (While Ella skips away, Will turns his attention to the Carpenter.) Will: (Standing directly in front of him:) “What have you done to Ella? (No response:) I said, what did you do to her? (Again, no reply:) Listen, I'm more of a lover, generally. But if you don't talk, I will knock an answer out of you. (Grabbing the man by the shirt, Will is about to hit him when a leaf sprouts out of the Carpenter’s neck:) Mate, you got something. (Walking around the man to look closer, Will finally notices that the Carpenter’s lower body has turned into a tree. Backing away:) Bloody hell! (Bumping into a tree, Will turns and sees a face carved into the wood:) Oh, God. (Looking at the other trees, he sees yet more faces:) This is not good.” Carpenter: (Serenely:) “It makes you want to stay.” Will: (Takes off running:) “Ella! Ella! Ella! (Catching up with her:) Ella, we have to get out of here right bloody now. Ella.” Ella: (Blankly:) “Who's Ella?”

Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Maria's Nursery. (Emma stands over Maria's crib watching her sleep. Glancing at Regina, she notices the huge smile on her face.) Emma: (Returning the smile:) "What is it?" Regina: (Shrugs:) "This. Us. You. Everything. I just... I've never been so happy in all my life. I almost feel like a child again." Emma: "Well, we are standing in a nursery." Regina: "No, it's not just that. Even when I was a little girl, I never had as much fun as we do now." Emma: (Scoffs:) "Hopefully you didn't have any fun like we do, back then." Regina: (Rolling her eyes:) "I mean the silliness, the adventures, the people in our lives. Our family. It makes me feel as though we've really made it, you know? That we've really beaten the odds." Emma: (Placing her hand on Regina's:) "Me too. I couldn't be happier. Although, (Begins stroking the back of Regina's hand in a playful manner:) as much as I enjoy the giddy, child-like Regina, I had hoped that the Sheriff Swan-Mills version might like to come out and play?" Regina: "Oh really?" Emma: "Mmhmm." Regina: "Well that can be arranged, but I thought that could wait for another evening." Emma: "Oh. (Slightly disappointed:) I guess you're right, we probably should get an early night before tomorrow." Regina: (Chuckles:) "No, silly. I just meant that I had something else in mind for tonight." Emma: "Ooh. Do tell." Regina: "Oh no, this one will be much more fun if I just show you. But it will take a little while to get ready. So, why don't you give me five minutes, and then come find me." Emma: (Reluctantly releases Regina's fingers as she backs out of the room:) "Five minutes?" Regina: (Nods:) "A quick five, I promise. Oh, and Emma?" Emma: "Hm?" Regina: (Covers her eyes with her hands:) "No peeking." (Upon seeing the pure joy and excitement on her wife's face, Emma concludes that there is nothing she would not do to make Regina happy.) Wonderland. The Boro Grove. (While Ella begins making herself a daisy-chain tiara, Will has other ideas.) Will: “All right, that's enough. You don't remember the search for your mother. You don't remember yourself. Well, no more arguments. (Grabs Ella’s hand and pulls her to her feet:) We're going.” Ella: “Go where?” Will: “The hell out of here. Look, Ella! You see all these trees? They all used to be people. That's what's gonna happen to you if you stay. So I'm getting you out.” (Ella wrenches her arm out of Will’s grip.) Ella: “No! (Runs back and picks up her sword:) I don't want to go! I'm not leaving! (Slashes the air:) Stay away from me!” Will: “Easy. (Ella slashes again:) Easy!” Ella: “I won't go! You can't make me go! Just leave me alone! Let me stay!” Will: “I don't wanna hurt you, Ella, but you're not yourself.” Ella: “I'm better! I'm the person I've always wanted to be! I’m happy!” Will: “This place isn’t making you happy! It's not real happiness! Believe me. I know the difference when I see it.” Ella: “And why is that?!” Will: “Listen. There's something I never told you before. When my heart was ripped from me, I mean, literally taken from my chest, I thought that hole could never be filled. And then I got it back and since then, I’ve tried everything I can to always do the right thing. Maybe that's why I can't let this happen.” (Will tries to pull Ella’s sword away from her.) Ella: “Stop!” Will: “Give me the sword, Ella! (Ella throws him to the ground. Landing hard, Will sits up and notices that Ella’s lower half is also turning into a tree. Stands:) Ella, I can't make you go.” Ella: “Exactly.” Will: “No, I mean it. I can't make you. I can't take you. I can't force you. Because in this place the only way out is wanting to go. So please, Ella, just come with me. Oh, bloody hell, Ella. Look at ya! (Ella looks down at herself:) Please just come with me.” Ella: “No. I'm not going anywhere. I finally found a home.”

Camelot. Dungeons. (Kristoff wearily follows Anna and Elsa through the dungeons yet again.) Kristoff: "Guys, how many more times are we going to come down here? It's not like we're suddenly going to find-" Anna & Elsa: "Shh!" (Moving quickly into an unoccupied cell, the trio hide in the darkness as Aredian emerges from behind the false stone wall, whistling merrily to himself. Once he passes, Elsa and Anna rush to the wall before it seals itself.) Elsa: "Wait. Anna, please, it could be dangerous. Why don't you and Kristoff go for help and I'll-" Anna: "What are you crazy? You're not going down there by yourself. Tell her, Kristoff." Kristoff: "Absolutely, we go together or not at all." (Elsa smiles at this, still worried for their safety, but pleased not to be facing whatever lies at the end of the steep tunnel alone.) Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. (Tiptoeing down the hall after three minutes and two seconds, Emma hopes to catch a glimpse of Regina's planned surprise. Before she can push open the door however, Emma hears Regina speak.) Regina: "Come in, Madam Mayor. (Smiling when Emma enters sheepishly:) I knew you couldn't wait the full five minutes." Emma: (Stepping into the room and closing the door:) "You'd be supremely disappointed if I did." (Turning towards the sound of her wife's voice, Emma gasps when she sees Regina sitting on the edge of the table in front of the vanity mirror clad in a leather halter top, and not much else.) Regina: "Good evening, Madam Mayor." Emma: (Approaching:) "Good evening... Mistress?" Regina: "Really?" Emma: (Stops walking, whispers:) "Well, what are you supposed to be?" Regina: "This is my version of what an Amazon Queen would wear." Emma: "So now you're an Amazon? (Notices the stockings and heels:) Do Amazon's wear heels?" Regina: "This one does." Emma: "Mm, how silly of me." Regina: "Don't you like it?" Emma: (Scoffs:) "You know I do. It's just... it looks more like S&M gear than battle armour." Regina: "Well, it did come with a pair of these." (Regina holds up a pair of handcuffs.) Emma: "Ah, so this is an undercover operation. Very tricky Sheriff Swan-Mills. So I assume you know your Miranda rights?" Regina: (Lifting an eyebrow:) "Of course I do. I have the right to be picked up by a woman in uniform." Emma: (Resumes her approach:) "Uh huh." Regina: "I have the right to be handcuffed and stripped-searched." Emma: (Chuckles and lifts Regina into her arms:) "You most certainly do." Regina: "Anything I see or touch must be held against me." Emma: (Depositing Regina gently on the bed:) "Yes, Ma'am." Regina: "I have the right to bare arms, chest and legs." Emma: "Just give me a minute to work out how to take this thing off you and I'll be right on that." Regina: "Wait, who's arresting who here?" Emma: (Leaning down for a kiss:) "Oh, you captured my heart years ago, officer." Camelot. Underground Cell. (One of the guards enters Lily's cell, placing his sword against the wall.) Guard 2: "What are you doing? He said watch her." Guard 1: "What do you think I'm doing? I'm just getting a better look, is all. (Creepily, the guard approaches the bound woman. Placing his hands on his knees, he bends down to stare at her:) So you're some kind of fire breathing dragon, huh? You don't look too scary to me." Guard 2: "Come on, get out of there." Guard 1: (Ignoring him:) "Don't mind him. (Stroking her face with the back of his hand:) You know what? If you promise to play nice, I'll remove that gag and give you something more fun to do with that pretty mouth." (Shakily, Lily nods her head. Emboldened by this, the guard reaches up and removes the gag.) Lily: "Thank you." (Swinging her arm around from behind her back, Lily embeds a broken piece of wood from her chair into the guard's temple, killing him instantly. Reaching the guard's weapon first, Lily uses it against the second guard, slashing him twice across the chest. Catching the man's body and easing him silently to the ground, Lily relieves the dead man of his sword before running for the door and heading down the long, dark passageway.)

#sq #swanqueen #swan queen

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kob131 · 5 years ago

Note

The Lostbelts: Explicitly a story arc with grey and grey morality. Chaldea: Decides to commit global scale genocide with no hesitation and never even considers trying to find another option. Galahad: well if Chaldea represents that timeline's version of humanity I see no raeson why I should be helping them over any of the other timelines. Fate fandom: REEEEEEEEEE!!!

A. The other timelines explictedly fuck over their residents. As in, LB1 is all about survival of the fittest which fucks over it’s residents. LB2 forces humanity (specifically young women) to be sacrificed to man eating giants. LB3 people are forced into being ignorant. LB4 routinely purges those that the King views as “evil” in a hellish cycle of reincarnation. LB5 has humanity become mindless slaves to uncaring gods. And LB6? We haven’t been there yet and we already know it’s even worse than LB5, with humanity being on the verge of extinction and implied that the king there is fucking VORTIGERN.

All six we know about are worse than the original.

Literally the only thing that is even remotely grey is that destroying the Lostbelts will erase the inhabitants.

B. Speaking of-CHALDEA DOES HESITATE. In fact, if you played or even looked up LB1, you’d know that Ritsuka almost commits suicide by cop only to be saved by a resident of the Lostbelt all but explictedly telling him that the Lostbelt doesn’t deserve to stand if it means his world is gone.

And C. Galahad knows fuck all of the Lostbelts. He fucks off before they even SEE one. He fucks off because ‘It’s Ritsuka’s fault that the Alien God destroyed everything by killing Goetia because at least there would be something left BTW I’mma gonna take back the powers I gave the girl who MADE GOETIA’S DEFEAT POSSIBLE so she can’t fight properly and, say, FIX THIS SITUATION THAT BY MY LOGIC I CAUSED.’

Galahad isn’t supporting anyone, he’s being a child and blaming everyone else for a situation that no one is at fault for or, by his logic, HE’S at fault for.

No shit Galahad’s getting shat on. Look at the other Round Table members. Arturia may have been foolish but she never stopped trying to protect humanity even at her own expense. Lancelot may have stuck his dick in the queen but he defected in Camelot and helped protect humanity. Gawain maybe overly emotional and blindly loyal but he still acts for the sake of humanity. Agravain maybe cruel but he still tries his best for his king and his kingdom. Fucking MORDRED, The Knight or Treachery, the killer of King Arthur, the destroyer of Camelot has worked in the better interest of humanity TWICE now (Apocrypha and Grand Order).

In fact, the second and last examples really shows how little of an excuse Galahad has. Galahad has had everything Mordred didn’t, up to and including a childhood with loving parents (as shown by Lancelot) and not say a missing dad and what is implied to be a MASSIVELY abusive mother, a favorable upbringing as Lancelot’s recognized kid unlike Mordred being seen as a bastard (despite the fact that in Arthurian Myth he’s a rape baby too), seen as the best knight while Mordred is seen as a monster and yet she’s still being a better knight than him.

And Lancelot? The man who he decries to the point that literally the only thing Mash knew was ‘Lancelot was totes a bad dad’? He’s lived his life trying to right his wrongs (and his wrongs in hindsight aren’t even that bad) to the point he’s driven mad by it. The man he pins all the blame on and bashes is by far one of the better knights of the Round Table even with the ‘fucking Guinievere’ thing while the best thing Galahad has to his name is...what exactly? Saving Mash that one time? Which he is currently trying to undo?

Galahad is not only a shitty knight, he’s THE shittiest knight of Fate’s Round Table. And again, that includes a torturer (Agravain) and a killer (Mordred). All while pretending he’s somehow better than one of the better ones.

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petekaos · 5 years ago

Note

Merlin and arthur for your character ask game!!

I sent an ask about merlin and Arthur for the ask game, I hope that's okay!! I don't know if you only wanted characters from bl shows lol but I had to send them, I l o v e them

hiii nonnie!! oh this is perfectly alright, i adore merlin and arthur like no other! bbc merlin was the first show that ever truly... stuck with me. so here goes! (uhhh, pretty pivotal spoilers for bbc merlin in case it wasn’t obvious!)

merlin:

favorite thing about them:

i just love how GOOD merlin is! he’s one of my absolute favourite characters of all time and the way how he tries to help everyone and anyone he can and uses his magic in order to make people’s lives easier is just... wonderful. he literally gets into escapades every episode because he wants to help one person or another and it’s just so so good and funny, i love him.

least favorite thing about them:

honestly you could not count the amount of times i’ve shaken my fist at the screen and told merlin to stop listening to kilgarrah lmaooo, i feel merlin trusts... too blindly. especially when it comes to destiny and all that lark, i wish he would think for himself and realise that destiny is something you mold. i feel that would have made s4 and s5 WAY more interesting and also... better! considering the entire mordred subplot as well.

favorite line:

god... this series is five seasons long and merlin has the most wonderful quotes. but off the top of my head? i have to pick something from the finale, as i will do for arthur as well. “and i use it for you, arthur. only for you.” like... that continues to tug on my heartstrings, honestly. the way he feels the need to justify himself having magic, and the way that merlin went from this young, innocent, stars-in-his-eyes boy to a wrecked mess in the end, living not for himself, but solely for arthur and the good of camelot. this line showcases that beautifully and how merlin needs to heal first before loving arthur. he has the greatest power in the world... and he uses it all for this one man. bro.

brotp:

merlin and gwen!!! merlin and morgana!!! merlin and the knights!!! i love the idea of all of them being a tight-knit and close family, merlin just... meshes well with so many people and i adore all of his friendships, esp with lancelot and gwaine from the knights :’)

otp:

merlin x arthur. yeah, man. the tragedy of it all... the heartwrenching ache of it all... they truly served in a way that no other white non-canonical mlm couple could. absolutely wonderful.

notp:

not really... fond of any merlin ship apart from merlin x arthur but merlin x morgana is Bad, he’s gay and she’s a lesbian and they’re magic best friends!

random headcanon:

this is similar to my one for met, but merlin should use his magic and play WAY more pranks on arthur. i’m talking throwing stuff at him when he’s got his back turned but acting all innocent when he turns back. i’m talking stealing more of his food and shrugging his shoulders. i’m talking sparring with arthur in front of all the knights and cheating so he can win. arthur is fuming but he can never say anything because the knights all love merlin more than him and would never believe any sort of accusation against him.

unpopular opinion:

he should have helped morgana. end of. merlin helps everyone he sees, and the fact that he would just brush morgana off like that is a) shitty writing for more drama and b) a complete mischaracterisation. they deserved to be friends who tried to bring magic back to camelot together in their own ways, and considering that they’re literally opposites when it comes to personality... it would have been SO interesting.

song i associate with them:

vanilla twilight by owl city. i have thought of this as a merlin (and merlin x arthur) song for quite a while now and wrote a whole fic based off of it! but yeah, especially the line “i’ll watch the night turn light blue / but it’s not the same without you” fucking GETS me. i always wondered how merlin coped with his grief, considering that arthur became such a pivotal part of his life, and how he realised he needed to live for himself and heal before he came back. some of that is explored in the fic! i wrote it like... almost four years ago, holy shit, so it’s not that good but have at it if you wish!

favorite picture of them:

have this picture of merlin i actually have saved on my laptop!! he looks so good in the coronation outfit and the light is hitting his eyes just right. glorious boy!

arthur:

favorite thing about them:

i adore how arthur always wants to do the right thing, even if it means going against his father in the later seasons. he also just loves the people of his kingdom so much, even saying he’d lay down his life for the people in camelot... which you need to do as king, obviously, but something about his sincerity... and that’s another thing. he’s so sincere in everything he does! i love him :’)

least favorite thing about them:

emotionally constipated arrogant BRAT fhsnfhsn lmaooo i love him, and he gets better with the arrogance and the emotional constipation (not so much on the brat front :/) in the later seasons. i just... adore his character development so much!

favorite line:

okay. i have two off the top of my head although he has some RAW fucking lines as well. “for the love of camelot!” always gets me btw but that’s not a part of this.

so number one, “i couldn’t bear to lose you.” this ties in with the thing about character development i was talking about earlier, because s1 arthur would have never said this to merlin, even if they had a great relationship. and also... that line is just so fucking raw, especially hearing arthur refer to merlin as his friend when arthur doesn’t refer to anyone else as a friend. just... the fact that he’s saying that he literally could not take it if merlin went missing or died, he couldn’t bear the weight of that on his shoulders as he bears everything else on his shoulders... it makes my heart clench every time. and how open and honest that is, how he lays everything out on the table--merlin is a vital part of his life, so much so that he couldn’t picture his life without him.

and secondly: “just hold me.” it doesn’t matter how many times i watch that finale, that line always gets me. how all arthur wants to do in his last moments is be held by merlin, and as said by the showrunners themselves i believe... he died peacefully in the arms of someone who loved him. the way that he gives up and he doesn’t say anything else, not things he needs to do after he dies or messages to give others... but only three words. “just hold me.” all he wants is to be held, and it gets me every time.

brotp:

aaaaaa arthur and morgana!!! the best siblings, they deserved so much better and so many more banter-y scenes together :(

otp:

merlin x arthur, no doubt baby!

notp:

hmmm, i don’t think i particularly have a famed arthur ship that i dislike... arthur x gwen is good!! just not my cup of tea i think, i like merlin x arthur and morgana x gwen more. do people ship morgana x arthur? if so, no. they’re literally siblings.

random headcanon:

arthur is FASCINATED by magic. in a better world, after merlin had told him about his magic, he would have endlessly pestered merlin about this and that and being so impressed with every small feat of magic merlin did. merlin conjures up a light dragon and arthur is all “:D merlin do that again!!!” i love arthur being a little kid and getting to have the childhood he never had, makes me feel warm :’)

unpopular opinion:

i know it wasn’t his fault but i cannot BELIEVE he gave up right then and there during the finale. they were so close :(( i cannot accept that ending man i’m just sad

song i associate with them:

king and lionheart by of monsters and men. i think the merlin fandom is pretty much unified on the opinion of this being a merlin x arthur song and it’s just... such a good arthur song as well! man... especially the line of “as the world comes to an end, i’ll be there to hold your hand” like... if that isn’t arthur talking to merlin... nonnie you’ve made me emotional over how much i love them again :(

favorite picture of them:

no doubt in my mind that this is my absolute favourite picture of arthur. the tender expression in his eyes as he looks at merlin over at the fire... i don’t have words for it. bradley truly outdid himself here man!

send me a character!

#this really took me back to four years ago when i watched merlin for the first time #and had the breath knocked out of me #it remains to this day one of my top favourite shows #also remember that one picture of bradley with a ds or a phone in sunglasses laying across the staircase? i LOVE that one fhsnfh #merlin #character ask game #rahul answers

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nasuversekinkmeme · 2 years ago

Text

Weekly Roundup: prompts

Mahoyo

Soujuuro, Aoko and Alice and pet play. Like he has a collar. Cmon.

Tsukihime

Where can I get some Nrvnqsr/Roa content?

FSN

Smut, On Today's Menu: a meal Shirou made, unknowingly containing that sex pollen plant. Consequently, all the 5th Holy Grail War ladies fuck, right in front of his salad.

Fate/Extra

nrt, Robin Hood cucks Tamamo in the Extella setting, specifically with Male Hakuno

FGO

turns out that guda isn't very versed in history and myth, despite the staff's efforts to educate them. so when enkidu opens up to them and how they miss their "king of heroes" guda comes to the logical conclusion that enkidu must want to fuck gaogaigar. they then invite enkidu to start binging a lot of mecha anime, and enkidu is confused but appreciates it

Guda die as virgin so when they got summon as servant, they decide to lose it. Why get laid is so hard!? (Comedy. A lot cockblock)

Smut, incest, Gudako really wants to rail Gudao. But it's wrong: they're siblings after all! Plus she's sure he's already getting some from others. So why can't she indulge in the very close looking Charlemagne, hm?

The new Elizabeth halloween form is revealed! Ignore how she looks suspiciously like Carmilla, and how a familiar shrill scream can be heard coming from a locked closet.

Euryale and Stheno are twins who basically do everything together, to the point where they refer to each other as "myself" in their voice lines. But I'd like to see something where Euryale, having grown from befriending Asterios, starts being more and more hesitant in following her sister in the Medusa bullying... until it explodes into Euryale and Stheno outright fighting. Stheno stayed the same, but Euryale didn't, and so they can't see eye to eye anymore.

Would love a fic (or anything else idc) exploring Euryale being so kind to Asterios because she sees her monster of a sister in him, and if she couldn'y help her sister then at least she can help this one guy.

David decides to court Barghest, in hopes of getting over his fears of taller women. Things go surprisingly well- until Barg’s urges to eat her lover start to kick in, and David starts looking like a snack (literally).

Smut, Raikou finds her dear sweet master peeping on her in the tub. Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty boy~ Seems like Mama Raikou has to teach her master a lesson he’ll never forget.

Smut, After a long day fighting in the Grail War; Yu Mei-Ren learns the wonders of polyamory, her ‘master’ learns the wonders of feet, and both learn about their own feelings. Maybe.

Krishtaria and yu-senpai meet in the afterlife and bond over their respective horse boyfriends (and their horse cocks)

gudako allows the support servants to have a break. Just as all of the support servants FINALLY rejoice, something bad happens. Bonus if the bad thing that happens is caused by either gudako or chen gong

The twelve paladins of Charlemagne (really three of them) have a quest…! To find Roland’s missing clothes before a special event because Roland had stripped and is now running around Chaldea butt ass naked!

Smut, Can we get some cock worship for Morgan? With either Mash, Mordred, or Baobhan giving her head.

Gore, Guda offers themselves up as sacrifices to the Aztec god of their choosing leading to some very gory fun

Any fandom

Might i humbly request some Lingerie admiration? Im not too picky on who, but I've only played FGO so that be preferable.

The all-swimsuit-servant holy grail war. Preferably with the viewpoint Master slowly figuring out that for some reason every single summoned Servant has a literal actual swimsuit as their battle attire.

Crossover

Illya summons Servant Berserker Kazuma Kiryu and wins the grail war because Tiger Drop negates all damage. Un/fortunately for them, Kiryu's a Yakuza protagonist leading to both wacky hijinks and heartbreaking moments.

Samurai Remnants

With her husband now in Chaldea, Tomoe decides to show him her new hobby of video games. But, while she gets into explaining and playing it, Yoshinaka decides to take up his favorite hobby and makes sweet sweet love. Bonus if Tomoe doesn't stop infodumping during it

#weekly roundup

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oldstonedjenny · 5 years ago

Photo

For the killer queen always wanting more. The lioness licking her chops of the blood of her enemies. When all you see is enemies, you have to hold onto your pride. For hair grows back. A Cersei Lannister playlist.

Link in the picture.

Playlist

Apex Predator - Barret Wilbert Weed //

Like a lioness Only with less fur Do not mess with her She’s the apex predator

Oops!...I Did It Again - Britney Spears //

Oops!... I did it again I played with your heart Got lost in the game Oh, baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love That I'm sent from above I'm not that innocent

Evil Woman - Electric Light Orchestra //

Hey woman, you got the blues 'Cause you ain't got no one else to use There's an open road that leads nowhere So just make some miles between here and there There's a hole in my head where the rain comes in You took my body and played to win Ha, ha, woman, it's a cryin' shame But you ain't got nobody else to blame

Devil Woman - Cliff Richard //

I drank the potion she offered me I found myself on the floor Then I looked in those big green eyes And I wondered what I came there for

Maneater - Daryl Hall & John Oates //

I wouldn't if I were you I know what she can do She's deadly, man She could really rip your world apart Mind over matter Ooh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

bad guy - Billie Eilish //

I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy

you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish //

You should see me in a crown Your silence is my favorite sound Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one One by one by one

Primadonna - Marina and The Diamonds //

Primadonna girl, yeah All I ever wanted was the world I can't help that I need it all The primadonna life, the rise and fall You say that I'm kinda difficult But it's always someone else's fault

Power & Control - Marina and The Diamonds //

Women and men, we are the same But love will always be a game We give and take a little more Eternal game of tug and war

Hot N Cold - Katy Perry //

We used to be just like twins, so in sync The same energy, now's a dead battery Used to laugh (Used to laugh) 'bout nothing ('Bout nothing) Now you're plain (Now you're plain) boring (Boring) I should know (I should know) that you're not gonna change

Blank Space - Taylor Swift //

So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over, mm If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game

Fancy - Iggy Azalea //

I'm so fancy, you already know I'm in the fast lane, from L.A. to Tokyo I'm so fancy, can't you taste this gold? Remember my name, 'bout to blow-oh-oh-oh

Glamorous - Fergie ft. Ludacris //

(If you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home, you say it!) My daddy told me so ("If you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home!") He let his daughter know (He said, if you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home, you say it!)

You’ll be Back - Jonathan Groff //

You’ll be back, soon you’ll see You’ll remember you belong to me You’ll be back, time will tell You’ll remember that I served you well Oceans rise, empires fall We have seen each other through it all And when push comes to shove I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!

Black Widow - Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Orta //

You used to be thirsty for me But now you wanna be set free This is the web, web that you weave So baby now rest in peace (It's all over with now)

Death by Diamonds and Pearls - Band of Skulls //

You got your figure all nice But your heart stays colder than ice You got 25 grand on the bubble And you're the one telling me that you don't think you're in trouble

Hope in the Air - Laura Marling //

There's hope in the air There's hope in the water But sadly not me Your last serving daughter

Mordred’s Lullaby - Heather Dale //

Guileless son, each day you grow older Each moment I'm watching my vengeance unfold For the child of my body, the flesh of my soul Will die in returning the birthright he stole

Cold As It Gets - Patty Griffin //

I know a cold as cold as it gets I fight a war I may never see won I live only to see you live to regret Everything that you've done

My Medea - Vienna Teng //

For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free

King Nothing - Metallica //

Then it all crashes down And you break your crown And you point your finger But there's no one around Just want one thing Just to play the king But the castle crumbled And you're left with just a name Where's your crown, King Nothing?

Power - Kanye West //

Thinking no one man should have all that power The clock's ticking, I just count the hours Stop tripping, I'm tripping off the powder 'Til then, fuck that, the world’s ours

Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco //

I'm taking back the crown I'm all dressed up and naked I see what's mine and take it (Finders keepers, losers weepers), oh yeah The crown, so close, I can taste it I see what's mine and take it

King Of The World - Porcelain and The Tramps //

My pain-filled drama queen Is always creeping at your back Getting ready to buy you out 'Cause we all know What goes around comes around You shoulda known what I was all about Do not test me

Killer Queen - Queen //

She keeps a Moët et Chandon in her pretty cabinet Let them eat cake she says, just like Marie Antoinette A built-in remedy for Khrushchev and Kennedy (Ooh, ooh) At anytime an invitation, you can't decline (Ooh, ooh)

Bitch - The Plastiscines //

I’m a Bitch, in disguise

I’m a Bitch, who never hides

I’m a Bitch, did you realize?

I’m a Bitch, every time

God Save the Queen - Sex Pistols //

God save the queen The fascist regime They made you a moron Potential H-bomb God save the queen She ain't no human being

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia //

So come on now Strike the match Strike the match now A perfect match Perfect, somehow We were meant for one another Come a little closer

Burn It Up - The Offspring //

Tonight this hood will be a pyre I'm going to set your house on fire I'll dance around the pretty flames

Such a wonderful game!

GRRRLS - AVIVA //

I can't fake it, I'll just make it on my own (on my own) I can't blame them, I'll just maim them on my throne (on my throne) I can't fake it, I'll just make it on my own (on my own) I can't blame them, I've just got to get to my throne

Monster - Kanye West //

Gossip, gossip, nigga, just stop it Everybody know I'm a motherfucking monster

Kingdom of One - Maren Morris //

All you can give, all you can bear Look to your heart, but nothing is there When nothing is sacred, no one is safe

Hollow Crown - Ellie Goulding //

You know you’re fighting in a losing battle Making a noose out of your hollow crown I hold a match up to your paper castle And watch it all burn down, down, down

The Ballad of Sara Berry - 35 MM //

You taste the silver, Sara! You taste the crown You thirst for blood from the roses in hand Whoa, you spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance As they crown you Queen of High School Land

#game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #cersei lannister #house lannister #music #fanmix #my post

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iwannawritepls · 5 years ago

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Le Morte d’Arthur Thoughts P3

Chapter Twenty-One

I swear to god if they blame Igraine for this

What vendetta does Ulfus have against Igraine???

Aw mother son bonding

‘A good knight, his name was Miles.’ Oh lord

Oml Griflet! I’ve heard about this one I hope he doesn’t end up being an ass

Chapter Twenty-Two

Arthur taking such close counsel with Merlin is probably a bad idea

...is this Lancelot…???

Chapter Twenty-Three

Is Arthur about to make war with Rome because that is a very, very bad idea

I took a sneak peek at the next chapters title and I stg if this isn’t Lancelot I don’t know who it could be

Bloooood

Wait it’s Pellinore? Oof

Chapter Twenty-Four

You fool!

Creepy swamp man knocked Pellinore out ewww

Wait…wait…Pellinore will have 2 kids. Lamorak (I’m assuming) and Percival (I’m assuming their names are both kinda differently spelt) and one of them will say Mordred’s name and that will cause the nation to fall...? Huh

Chapter Twenty-Five

I’m sorry this hermit is a giant leech?

Her arm must really hurt

I love how where are these little brackets for single words that don’t need to be there but everything else that is confusing isn’t amended. Maybe I’m just a dumbass

Words of wisdom from swamp monster Merlin

Chapter Twenty-Six

‘How he desired Arthur’s beard to trim his mantle’ ...excuse me what?

I just read 23 lines of utter strangeness.

...okay this was so strange, but some dude just walked in and said ‘My king wants your beard’

‘Well he can’t have it.’

‘He said he would pillage and slay your lands if you didn’t give it to him’

‘If he does that imma cut his head off tell him to come here and get on his hands and knees and ask for forgiveness.’

‘M...k’

Chapter Twenty Seven

WHAT THE FUCK ARTHUR

YOU CANT JUST KILL A BUNCH OF KIDS

What...what the fuck? Why the fuck? When the fuck? Where the fuck? How the fuck? Who the fuck?

Sorry whom the fuck?*

Here ends the first. Here begins the Second

…:/

I don’t know how to feel,,,

#king arthur #le morte d'arthur #arthurian mythology #big dead arthur #welcome to me being confused for another 7 chapters #im sorry #run while you can please #merlin #merlin is a swamp monster #the women aren't even people lets be honest #they could be flowers and have more personality

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dreamy--dolly · 6 years ago

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we can survive on dreams, can’t we?

so here’s the percyhad fic i was talking about.

warnings: major character death, non-graphic violence

If one has pretend, they can travel the world without having to leave at all. Children can play games, pretend that they are heroes travelling the expanse of the world saving maidens and defeating monsters left and right. The hero wins in the end - maybe there are breaks for when they are tired and must go to bed, but they win in the end and they are happy.

Percival has his dreams and fairytales. He has lived but not survived on playing pretend, and has joined the ranks of the heroes he wanted to be. He is a knight of Camelot, fighting for justice. This time he clutches a real sword made of metal and not a flimsy tree branch, and the helmet he wears on his head is rusted and not woven from the soft petals of flower crowns.

He has seen blood. He has seen fire. But, Percival reminds himself, he has not seen everything. He can fight and eliminate the worst the world has, because the people before him have tried and succeeded in taking small steps. The knights of the Round Table were the ones who stepped up to the challenge, and while they have not succeeded in everything their accomplishments are not null and void.

And now it is up to him and Galahad to continue - they will do so on their quest for the Grail, and then will move onto the world.

He meets Galahad when they are first very young, and then they meet again. It’s when Percival is still raised as a “she” by his mother - even when she refers to him as “he” in front of visitors that make her jaw clamp and her teeth clamp - and wears silk dresses instead of armor, and wears his dark hair in heavy braids down his back. Galahad is only nine, and he cries about the bloodied knee he has gotten. Percival has never seen the blonde, bespectacled boy before. He has no bandages or salve to treat the wound. So he does what he knows best: Plays pretend.

Bright green eyes blink at Percival as he sticks his tongue out and blinks, and the crying turns to snickering. Galahad, because that’s the boy’s name, comes back again, and that’s when Percival really has someone else to play pretend with him. They play games they can’t quite remember and can’t quite forget, but by the end Galahad always has to run back down the dirt path in the woods to where he lives and Percival is left alone again. When Percival is alone one day, he sees the angels that don’t have wings, shining in their armor, and he tells Galahad about the angels when he meets up, and how for a split moment he wondered maybe if he died he’d become one.

“Those aren’t angels,” Galahad says.

“What do you mean?”

So Galahad tells him that he has seen knights and that is when they play pretend about things they remember. They live and consume and breathe their dreams - dreams about riding through the land in shining armor, upholding chivalry and saving people and chasing away evil. Galahad says that in a few years he will leave for Camelot with his mother and he will become a knight like his father before him.

“I promise that I’ll find you so we can become knights together.”

Galahad blinks a little. “You promise?”

Percival smiles. “Promise. They’ll tell stories about us one day - they’ll tell stories about you and me.”

Percival keeps his promise.

He is twelve years old when he shows up to Camelot. He remembers how even after he had to go against the knight that invaded their home his mother still says that he is too young and that he doesn’t deserve the fate his fathers and brothers got when they were knights. Percival thinks it’s stupid, because if he is fighting to pave the way for good at least he will die doing so. So when he comes to Camelot they are already telling stories of the strange boy dressed as a girl, whose torn dress is splattered in mud and the sword he clutches in his hands is too big for him and stained with blood. The king - a man whose soft features and kindly eyes have been hardened in the storybooks Percival had at home - says that yes, Percival can become a squire.

They take him away to clean the dirt and blood matting his hair to his face and he hears whispers about how he’s a poor thing, and how it’s “incredible” that “a child” was able to endure what he did. Percival does not know what to think of being called a boy. While he does not use the word “she” and knows he is no girl, he doesn’t quite think it right to be called a boy either. Maybe there is an in-between, but for now he’s a boy and maybe later he’ll find something. But for now the word boy is enough.

They give him new clothes different from the dresses he has worn and they say that he needs to cut his hair. It is alien, Percival decides when he reaches a hand up to feel cold air against his neck, to not have his hair weigh down against his back like it has for so many years. So when his hair is cut he leaves it a little longer - he doesn’t quite think he’s a boy, and maybe he doesn’t want to completely leave behind what he has.

He is going to train as a knight under Sir Kay. Sir Kay is a tall man with dark hair that covers one eye and looks like the sort of person whose voice would be all harsh and sharp, but when he speaks his words are low and warm.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He shakes Percival’s hand and stares back at the brown eye that is visible. “I have another squire who you’ll be studying with - Galahad!” He has not even seen the squire’s face or heard his voice but Percival thinks he knows. Did he just-

Galahad - the same blonde boy with green, green eyes peering from behind glasses - comes running. He pushes past Sir Kay when he sees Percival and tackles him to the ground in a hug. They have found one another after playing pretend for so many years. This isn’t pretend, though. This is real.

“You kept your promise,” Galahad mumbles to him.

He does not see Galahad’s face, but Percival hopes he smiles. “You thought I’d break it?”

“I’m glad you’re here, though. I’m glad you made it.” The hug Percival is cradled in grows tighter, and he feels as though his ribs might snap.

“Um, Galahad?” he says. “It - sort of - hurts-”

Galahad pulls away and Percival gasps for air. A hand reaches out to help him up and he takes it. They will grow up to be heroes together, and this time they will wear real armor and fight using real swords. There is a spark of good out there in the world, and if they can help it that spark will grow into a flame and the evil they’ve fought against playing pretend will be burned away.

“Sorry,” Galahad still holds his hand, “I missed you. But like I said, I’m glad you’re here.”

Then he smiles, and it is something to see.

They are the youngest among Camelot’s knights, and people say that they are things they’re not. The women and men at court titter about how they’re rivals pitted fiercely against each other, but whenever they had played pretend before as well as now they don’t clash. At least that isn’t what they think.

Everyone else seems to make it into a competition. But the truth is Percival does not bat an eye when they talk about Lancelot’s son Galahad anymore and about how if the Holy Grail is real then he will find it when he is older. Percival is able to tune them out and force the words to become background for him. If he does not notice them they will not sting.

It all still does, though. While he does not mind being the one to fade into the background as a part of the scenery while Galahad takes the lead role, he still notices the strings that jerk him around in the play. He notices how Galahad smiles a little sadly when Arthur’s words are kind - Lancelot doesn’t say such things about him, Percival sees - and how regardless of how much he laughs whatever smile he bears fades away at the mention of his father. He notices all the murmurs about how “pure” and “innocent” Galahad is, and notices the way Galahad shudders and tries to elbow his way out of crowds when he sees the way some of the ladies look at him. His safe haven is always the chapel or with Percival, it seems, because it is there Galahad does not have a father to worry about or the weight of the world to carry on his shoulders. He does not have to be Atlas holding up the sky, for a moment he can toss the burdens aside and really be himself.

It seems as though Galahad cannot stray too far away from holding the sky up, though.

They sit near the chapel, swords tossed aside as they chomp on the apples they’d gotten earlier that day. There were far too many for them to carry, yet here they are sitting as the sun sets and the sky rusts to orange, and the apples are crisp and sweet.

“If you eat too many, you might get sick.”

Percival crunches into his - third? fourth? - apple. His hands are sticky and the grass itchy against him where he sits, but he ignores it. “Don’t worry,” he says, “‘M always hungry.” When he finishes the core is tinged yellow and brown, and he spits the pits out into his hand.

“Today was fun,” Galahad says.

“If Arthur invites again, we should go. I liked apple-picking with you and Arthur and Mordred and Laurel.”

Though Galahad smiles, Percival thinks that he is Atlas again and is reminded that he has the sky to bear on his shoulders. He remembers today - seeing Galahad carry Laurel on his shoulders so she could reach for the trees and didn’t have to hop around, him and Arthur laughing like father and son. He hasn’t seen Lancelot do that with him, he realizes, never saw Lancelot hold Galahad’s hand in his as they walked home, never greeted him and ruffled his hair the way Arthur did. Arthur is a father Galahad does not have, and Percival wishes he could understand - maybe if he had a father who hadn’t died fighting for the world he’d understand what it is Galahad misses but has never had.

This is not the way things are supposed to be. They’re supposed to be far, far away from all that in the safety out near the chapel, aren’t they? They have their hopes and dreams to cling to, and those hopes and dreams will become true in the end. He should not have to bear the weight of the Grail and a ghost of a father and everything here.

Galahad tastes sweet and a little bitter like apples. Percival realizes this when he shifts and presses his lips against Galahad’s. There is a moment of Galahad unresponsive, but he reaches his hands up to touch Percival’s face - for a second Percival forgets that one day he’ll be married off to some girl whose name he will not know, and that this is not the way everyone else thinks they should be. Because for now they can play pretend when no one else knows.

A lump rises in Percival’s throat and he pulls away. Reality crashes down on him with stunning force. He can still taste apples.

Galahad blinks at him and reaches out. When he speaks his voice is hoarse and subdued. “Percy-”

But Percival leaves. Reality tastes bitter and poisons his tongue, and he runs back to the castle, his heartbeat thudding in his ears. It’s only for a moment but Percival thinks he knows what bearing the sky on his shoulders feels like.

“I’m sorry.”

The words come out small and Galahad comes close to dropping his sword.

It has been a week and they are the rivals they are made out to be. They have not forgotten playing pretend and still know that a single spark of good can envelop the world in flame, but Percival keeps his distance. He forgot that there are rules to playing pretend, and even if it is just a game he does not want to break the rules. So they play a new game, pretending that they are the rivals the court wants them to be. It is enough to make them forget Lancelot and the grail and apples and kisses for a little while - or rather, not quite forget but dulled enough.

The sun beats down too warm on Percival’s back.

“What are you sorry for?” Galahad asks. He lets his sword fall to the ground.

“Sorry for running off like that,” Percival mumbles. “Shouldn’t have. Should’ve said something. And I’m sorry for… doing that without asking you about it first.”

“It’s okay.”

Percival drops his sword. If they are not going to fight by the blade or with words, he has no need for a weapon. Although perhaps, he decides when Galahad pulls him into a pile of leaves, he should not have let his guard down.

“That’s your payment for running off like that!” Galahad’s words are supposed to be harsh, but the high-pitched laughing in his voice is most certainly not. Percival kicks around in the leaves, stirring up reds and oranges and yellows and browns as he sits up. And then he begins to laugh too.

He rolls against Galahad again and reaches his hand out to his face, but just as he is about to move in closer he stops. When he sees the nod, Percival closes the gap and they lie there in the leaves, his lips on Galahad’s. The autumn air is cold, but in the blanket of leaves and grass the two find warmth.

He pulls away but still has one hand against Galahad’s hair, the other clasping his neck. This time they actually forget that Galahad must bear the weight of the sky on his shoulders. They have their dreams and they can pretend that is not the way things are, and that is enough.

They play pretend for two years, ever since that kiss in the leaves when they’re both fourteen. Two years of sparring and training to become knights at sixteen, and everyone oohs and ahs at them and how young and new they are. They are welcomed to the Round Table, although while Lancelot shakes Percival’s hand his eyes are still cold towards Galahad, his own son. Percival knows it isn’t fair, but for now they don’t have to play pretend because they are knights now. They will both light the candle, hot and dripping with wax, and then leave it behind to burst into flames and spread good everywhere. There is a spark of good in the world, they just have to seek it and never let go.

Percival begins to wonder if it is not as easy as he thought it was. Galahad always asks if they can stay the night together. Sometimes he feels tears wet on his shirt, sometimes he hears Galahad sniffling in the darkness of the room. There are times when he enters and Galahad’s eyes are pink-rimmed, but he does not ask if he has been crying. He thinks that perhaps if he does, something - everything - will shatter. And Percy wants to preserve what he has for as long as he can.

This doesn’t happen all the time, though. Tonight, Galahad pulls him close and his face is dry when Percy cups his cheek. He shifts closer and the covers rustle over him. Winter has fallen and the heavy blankets are near suffocating, their heads cradled against pillows that are a little too plush.

“After the quest, where do you suppose you’d go?”

Percival cannot sleep, and neither can Galahad.

“Away” is Galahad’s answer. “I want to see what the country’s like outside of Camelot.”

That’s not the real answer and Percival knows it. Or rather, it is not the entire answer. He thinks Galahad means to say “I want to go as far away from this place as I can, as far away as I can from my father.” He would not call Lancelot “father”. He never does. But Percival keeps his mouth shut in favor of dreams and looking for a spark of flame in the darkness of the world.

“I’d want you to come with me,” Galahad says. “There’s a lot I haven’t seen of the world, and I’d want you to see it too.”

“Anywhere you’d suppose you’d go?”

Galahad exhales and curls his arm around Percy’s waist. “I haven’t thought much of that. I just know I want to leave Camelot. We’d get to actually live together once we get old enough, right?”

Percival does not want to sleep anymore. “Yes, we would. I’d want to have a big castle, and we could have it be near a forest-”

“Lots of trees, too, so we can go apple picking. And collect berries.” “We’d still travel, though, even if we’d live together. Even after the Grail. I want to see more of the world and have more adventures with you.”

Percival falls silent, although there are no words needed. He closes his eyes to let the warmth of sleep envelope him. Their dreams are blurry, of travelling the world on a white horse and they are laughing and smiling together. He knows he won’t remember, which is why hopes he will not wake up so soon.

The night before the Grail quest he actually witnesses Galahad cry.

He is seated on the bed, face buried in his hands as he lets out deep, shuddering sobs. If he notices Percival he does not look up. He just remains there, and it is only when Percival reaches out a tentative hand to press against his shoulder that he looks up.

His eyes are red-rimmed and the tears damp on his face have not dried yet. He still lets out muffled hiccups, and when he reaches for Percival’s hand he squeezes it as if he might slip away. He notices the bruises patterned blue and green blooming across his knuckles, but this time neither wants to speak just yet. So Galahad pulls Percival close and begins to cry again, tears wet against Percival’s shirt.

He peels away from Percival and begins to harshly rub at his face. “I shouldn’t - be crying - so much-” he forces out.

Percival pulls his hands away to wipe away the tears. He still stays silent.

Galahad laughs, creaky and forced. “I shouldn’t be crying in front of you , either. Not supposed to, I guess.”

“You don’t have to not do anything,” Percival says. “I don’t see anything wrong in you crying.”

But that’s just him, Percival realizes, and not the rest of the world. The Galahad the rest of the world puts on a pedestal is so very different - and inhuman, perhaps - compared to the one Percival knows.

“I’m just… I don’t know, Percy. Everyone tells me that I’m - that I’m better than my father, and the thing is I don’t want that. I don’t want to hear it, because he just keeps pushing me away because of it. I hate knowing that Arthur treats me more like a son than… than he ever has. And the thing is I’m not sure I want all of this. They say they like me, but what if I mess up? What if I make a mistake? I… I don’t know, I’m just scared and I’m not even sure the Grail is worth all of this anymore…”

Percival has no words to offer. He thinks that he too is subject to the prying eyes of Camelot’s court, but either he has never noticed or he has forced himself not to. He always tells himself that he has his dreams and it all goes away when he just plays pretend like they did when they were little, but is that really the right way? Because maybe turning a blind eye and pretending the pedestal he walks on may not break beneath his feet means he will not notice when one of them falls, and they’ll be too late to hold onto each other. They cling to each other and tell themselves that there is a spark of good that will grow into a flame because it is all they have, and they still fiercely hope that the spark will not be snuffed out.

It is only when he hears himself that Percival realizes he is crying, too.

“Forget the Grail,” he says when he thinks he cannot cry anymore. “Let’s just run away.”

Galahad does not answer.

“Let’s just run away like you promised we would once it ends. Let’s just go far away from here. I don’t care what happens on the quest, I just don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t know if Bors notices, I don’t know if Gawain notices, I don’t know if Arthur notices, I don’t know if anyone even wants to notice. But it doesn’t matter. There’s better ways to spread good through the world, and it’s just not like this. It shouldn’t have to be like this.”

The words feel like broken glass against the inside of his mouth, because Percival is not even sure he completely wants to leave. There is his castle back home, but he knows for sure that his mother is long gone and his sister married off, and that if they decide to leave Camelot behind right now they will be noticed. And what about Mordred? What about Laurel? He does not want to come back to Camelot after spending so many years with Galahad only to find that the little things he took for granted have slipped away. And he became a knight at Arthur’s court for the very purpose of spreading good. He cannot break the promise he had. They are trapped and forced to play their parts in this play.

They do not speak of running far away from here. They do not speak of anything. Percival lets Galahad bury his head against the curve of his neck and shoulder when they lie beneath the thin, rumpled sheets, but neither seems to fall asleep just yet. He will stay here, Percival decides, until Galahad falls asleep and he does not feel the tears half-dried on his face.

Galahad’s uneven breathing begins to slow, and he shifts a little against Percival. They will forget about the Grail and tomorrow morning in their sleep - for now it is just the two of them.

Percival begins to sit up now that Galahad’s eyes close, but before he can get out of the bed he feels a hand squeeze his.

“Don’t go, please,” he pleads.

So Percival lies back down and realizes he doesn’t want to leave either. He does not want to be anywhere else but here, where he can hear the beating of Galahad’s heart as he begins to fall asleep.

“I won’t.”

He tells himself that he is helping by going on this quest. Even though his stomach clamps at the sight of blood on his sword, Percival tells himself that he has seen it all before. It is just another quest, he tells himself, and part of his job as a knight of Camelot is to pave the path that he said he would. It is no game, no playing pretend like it was when he was a child, but this is all he has.

Once the beast is dead, its fur matted dark red, Percival falls to his knees. He waits for the prickling taste of vomit in his mouth, for his collapse. But he does not. He just stays there, trembling against the weight of the armor he wears.

Percival realizes then that if anyone is to find the Grail, it shouldn’t be him. He has dwelled on thoughts that others would say are selfish of him, with his wondering if he and Galahad could ever just run away and never look back, and he has placed the thought of his living together with someone and not having to think about his quest anymore above his faith. He is a traitor, he thinks to himself. He does not deserve to wear the armor or Camelot’s crest, he does not deserve to clutch a sword in his hands and sit at the Round Table.

If anyone deserves to find the Grail, it isn’t him.

“The beast is dead,” Bors tells him. He wipes the blood that rusts his sword.

“Sorry,” Percival mutters. “Just… tired.”

It is not a lie, but it is a dam that pushes back the entire truth.

“Let’s go. They’re waiting for us back at camp.” Bors begins to walk away, leaving Percival alone with the corpse of a monster in front of him.

He stands up, hands still shaking. He thinks about how he did not really even feel anything then, and did not feel anything now. The strain of adrenaline was absent, he did not feel his heartbeat thud in his ears when he saw the beast’s glowing yellow eyes and fangs dripping with spittle. He did not feel a thing at all.

And Percival thinks that is the way it should be. Even if he does not deserve what he has now.

If he just does what he is told and does not think about how undeserving he is, he will not feel pain anymore.

Even though he tries to numb himself, something happens to make everything sting all over again.

He hears shouting from inside the tents that they have set up for the night. Percival forces himself to tune it out through the tapping of the rain that falls - he has done this before with the nobles, he is doing it with the quests he has till the Grail, and he will do it now. So long as he does not think to listen whatever is happening would not even exist.

But he recognizes the voices. Galahad and Lancelot.

The mask shatters, and he listens.

“She spoke of how you were there,” Galahad shouts, “the best among them. Somewhere along the line she must not have realized the person who you really are!”

“Your mother stripped me of everything I could have been, and left me a shadow. I keep trying to fix things, but it’s all broken beyond repair because of you!”

There is Lancelot, and something burning breaks through the usual coldness of his voice

“Fix things? If anything, you do nothing but break and break and break! I keep trying to reach out to you - I want things to get better, I want things to be alright, yet you’re the one constantly turning your back on me! The family I’ve found amongst Arthur’s is because of your isolating yourself!”

“I turn my back on you because it’s your fault that I’m your shadow now! It’s all your fault!”

“I-”

“It’s all your fault.” Lancelot’s voice has grown icy again. There is silence. Then-

“Galahad-”

“Don’t bother trying to say anything, Father, You’ve said enough. I don’t even know why I call you ‘father’ - if anything, our own king is more family to me than you’ve ever been.”

The tent flaps open and Galahad walks out.

“You heard, didn’t you?” He does not look at Percival.

Percival looks at his hands. He does not want to face those green eyes, probably sharp.

“Yes.”

Galahad pulls up the hood to his cloak. He pulls Percival close and presses a kiss to his lips. It isn’t warm and sweet like the other kisses they have shared in secret. It is as cold as the rain they stand in. His hands are wet when he cups Percival’s cheeks. When he pulls away there is a ghost of a smile on his face - a smile Percival has not seen since the quest for the Grail began. It disappears, though.

“I’m going to find the Grail myself,” he says. He swallows. “I just feel like being with… him is too much for us both. He isn’t going to be proud of me in the end, I know that. But at least they’ll have found it, and maybe that’ll be enough.”

Percival remembers how they would talk about the castle they would live in once the quest came to its end. How they would travel the world together. The games they would play all those years ago in the forest.

Galahad smiles, and it is the first false smile Percival has seen him wear. “I promise to find the Grail for you, alright?”

“Even if you didn’t I wouldn’t mind that. Really. I wouldn’t.”

They know that they cannot run away now. They would be found too soon. But Galahad is not running away. He charges ahead because the only constant in his life he has had is his faith in God and his faith shared with Percival. And his smile is bright and false in the gray rain. Nothing Percival says will convince him to stay.

“Goodbye, Percival.”

He does not go after Galahad when he climbs onto his horse. He feels as though his hands are made of stone when he moves them to wave farewell one last time. This is the first time that he can remember that Galahad has not called him “Percy”.

“Goodbye.”

Something inside him breaks.

Galahad finds the Grail, and Percival finds him soon after.

He thinks that maybe if he had been there a little sooner it wouldn’t have been like this. Perhaps if he’d chased after him and begged to go with him, or forced Galahad to go back that it wouldn’t end up like this. Galahad is collapsed at the foot of the altar, so gaunt and in armor too big for his starved and broken body. It has only been two years, Galahad should be twenty now, yet he looks far older than he is supposed to. The Grail shines on the altar and Percival wants to smash it to pieces.

He pulls Galahad into his arms and stares at his hollow face and green eyes that aren’t supposed to be this dull. Galahad winces a little with every breath he takes, and there are scrapes and cuts and burns and probably more wounds beneath the armor that Percival doesn’t want to think about. Yet when he looks up into Percival’s dark blue eyes, he smiles. It is a real one, and not the sort of false grin he gave Percival when he left to find the Grail two years ago.

“You found me…” His voice is so faint Percival almost doesn’t hear him.

“It’ll be alright. We found the Grail, we can go home now, you aren’t going to-”

Galahad shakes his head. Percival clutches his hand as though he’s the one dying.

“Percy?” He blinks. He has not heard that nickname in two years. He thinks back to when he could still play pretend, back to when they were all little secret kisses and eating stolen berries. Tears distort his vision but he still forces himself to stare down at Galahad.

“Could you sing for me?”

He thinks back on all the nights before the Grail. Back when they could still play pretend, when sometimes he would hum whatever song was currently stuck in his head so that the both of them could fall asleep with music in their dreams. Sometimes Galahad would join in.

He brushes Galahad’s hair away from his face and nods.

“I will.”

It’s something he remembers that his mother would sing to him whenever she’d tuck her in. The notes are off key from how much it takes him to not cry, and the song comes out as broken and tuneless, but Percival still forces himself to sing. There are words, but their meaning is alien to him. And it is there in his tuneless, broken singing that Percival realizes the truth. Whatever spark of good there was in the world is too small to start a fire, and it may have already been snuffed out long ago. He has tried to play pretend and force himself to block out the pain of being wounded so that he can still think that a fire is possible, but in the end the flame is going to be snuffed out by the wind and he will have nothing left save for a brief afterimage of blue-tipped fire that glows in the dark before it’s completely gone. He has played naught but games with Galahad up to this point, thinking that it was all just one big play and they were the actors in it. That isn’t the way it works, though - rules are broken, people get hurt, and accidents happen.

He’s too busy singing to cry, but he does not finish when he feels Galahad shift one last time in his arms. His eyes have closed for the last time, and he reaches up a feeble hand to touch Percival’s arm. He mouths the words “thank you” and then goes limp in Percival’s arms.

Galahad dies before Percival can finish singing, a smile painted on his chapped, bleeding lips.

Percival stays there. The song has sapped him of all energy he has to cry, to move, to think beyond what there is now. All he has left is the ability to play pretend one last time. So that’s what he does.

Percival closes his eyes and plays pretend one last time

He pretends that Galahad has fallen into a heavy, dreamless sleep in his arms, and that he will wake up soon. They will wake up in the morning where he will shake Galahad awake, and it takes him dotting kisses all over his nose and cheeks for him to get out of bed. He has just fallen asleep while Percival sings to him, and that is all. The morning will continue as normal and they will go on their adventures through the castle together, and when night comes he will stay with Galahad until they fall asleep tangled in each other’s arms. It is all just another day for them back at the castle they call home.

Percival does not open his eyes when he presses one last kiss to Galahad’s forehead. His skin is cold, and even though the warmth of playing pretend has vanish Percival wonders if a kiss would be enough to wake Galahad up like in the stories. That question is snuffed out.

He does not want the other knights to find him like this. He had no control of a thing up to now, the only thing he has control of is making the mechanics of his body move again.

So with his heart making everything seem heavy, with all that has happened draining the colors from his sight, Percival cradles Galahad in his arms to carry what was once someone he loved with all his heart away from the darkness of the dungeon and towards the brightness of the sun.

#writing this tore me apart #angie writes #arthuriana #percyhad #percival (arthuriana)#galahad (arthuriana)

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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 6 years ago

Note

Merlin aus?

Yup. - Anastasia

No Burying of Dead Monarchs by fleete

(1/1 I 921 I Teen I Merlin/Arthur)

“That…was not the intended result," Stiles says.

I Can Never Leave the Past Behind by CupcakeTerminal

(1/1 I 1,320 I Teen I Sterek)

They call Arthur the “Once and Future King”, and Merlin knows just how true that is. He has lived lifetimes with Arthur and has loved him for longer than most countries have reigned on the earth. It doesn’t matter where he goes or when he lives, Arthur will find him, even in a small town called Beacon Hills. Their destinies are intertwined, but Merlin would appreciate him remembering some of it.

Fallen Heroes by captivated

(3/? I 4,092 I General I Sterek I MCD)

Stiles time travels unexpectedly to the Medieval Times, at least a thousand years before he was born. He ends up in Camelot — also known as Albion — and starts to fall in with the crowd. He starts to lose his memories of his family and former friends in Beacon Hills, believing that he himself was all alone in Camelot.

Years and years of being involved with Arthur Pendragon and Merlin, he becomes the Protector of Camelot (honored by King Arthur) and serves as one of the Knights proudly until the battle with Morgana that resulted in losing Sir Gwaine and Arthur Pendragon in the process.

Shortly after, Stiles is killed and he's sent back to the modern times. The only thing is... he has no memory of living in Beacon Hills or any of his friends. The Pack seems to keep it that way until the fallen heroes of Camelot and the once and future king are resurrected again when Albion is in need once again.

As the fallen heroes reunite, a powerful force will wake up and soon destroy everything in his path to get rid of the heroes of destiny.

This time by Dark_K

(1/1 I 8,293 I General I Sterek)

When the weird thin dude with the flap ears shows up and tells them all he’s Merlin and they are supposed to be the reincarnated court of Camelot, Stiles thinks Sure, why not?

A Beacon Hills kid in King Arthur's Court by Kikileduc

(1/1 I 12,727 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Stiles stumbles into Camelot.

The Werewolf, The Witch and The Wizard by lupinus

(1/1 I 13,525 I Teen I Sterek)

King Derek’s life is tough: there are monsters, evil witches, and incompetent manservants with a talent for getting into trouble and pretty eyes.

Or where lupinus records the adventures of King Derek and sorcerer Stiles for uraneia because she said:Please God someone else write this so I don’t have to.Stiles as Merlin.Derek as King Arthur.This leaves so many excellent options open. Kate as Morgana! Peter as Agravaine! Jackson as Mordred!Scott as Lancelot, okay?!And I made the mistake of asking if that made Stiles or Allison Gwen.

Quest For Camelot by tabbytabbytabby

(4/? I 24,469 I Explicit I Thiam)

Derek, Stiles, Theo, Liam, Cora, Lydia, and Liam's Mom Jenna get sent back in time to Camelot. The only hint as to why comes from a voice telling them they're on a quest to save Camelot from it's downfall as well as a letter. While there they have to try and keep their cover. At the same time they have to try and figure out a way to save Camelot when they don't even know what they're facing.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #merlin #royalty au #anon #Anonymous

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tren-fraszka · 7 years ago

Text

Parallels 2018 letter

Dear creator,

Thank you for taking your time to check my requests. I know my requests can sound a bit tricky, but please don’t be discouraged. I wish you will have good time writing first and foremost!

I like humor and tropes, which is probably the only thing you really need to know about my general likes.

I’m very picky about sex tropes, so generally I would be grateful for no graphic sex (unless specified otherwise). Also, if you go for a shippy fic, I don’t want any stuff happening without consent. I like consent a lot. Other dislikes include ABO, mpreg, soulmates, and situations where stuff is happening because destiny said so and nobody questions it.

Also, I included what ships I’m okay with in each fandom. Please do not include any ships that aren’t canon or I have not mentioned in those sections.

REQUESTS

FATE/APOCRYPHA

While I will be first person to admit that this series really could have had a better plot I loved the characters and would enjoy seeing more of them.

Mordred | Saber of Red (Fate/Apocrypha)

I love angry girls with gender issues, so I knew I would love Mordred and boy do I. There’s just something refreshing in seeing characters like her having a healthy amount of anger at the bullshit the world throws at her.

I really enjoyed her interactions with Shishigou, but I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing her interact with other cast members. Her specific circumstances make her a good foil for a lot of characters.

Additional info

I would be very okay with AUs, both Plot Divergences and complete setting changes, since as I mentioned I’m not overly attached to Apocrypha’s plot. So feel free to play with the idea of Mordred being Shishigo’s actual adopted daughter in a modern AU or some interesting what if scenario. Maybe Mordred getting her wish upon the grail, only to discover how terrible the life of a king is.

I’m okay with pretty much any pairing except Sieg/Jeanne (but if you went for an AU where Jeanne and Leticia are not sharing the body I would be pretty okay with Sieg/Leticia). Also, no shipping Shishigou and Mordred, because I much prefer them as a found family.

Out of things I actually do ship I have a very soft spot for Shirou/Semiramis.

TALES OF BERSERIA

I played Zestiria, so you are free to throw some references to it if you want.

You don’t have to include all the characters I requested, please feel free to concentrate on just one of them.

Eleanor Hume

I really like how much Eleanor changes during the course of the game. And how sincerely she approaches everything. It’s refreshing to see a character who is willing to judge things on her own. Sure, she’s slightly stubborn at first, but Eleanor had really grown on me over the course of the game.

I would probably be happiest with a fic that tracks just how much her attitude changed. It can be about her general attitude or about her relation with someone else in the party. I’m not picky. I just want to see Eleanor discovering that the world is bigger and much less black and white than she thought. But at the same time, even if there are cruelties she was not aware of, there is also kindness she had not seen before.

For some other random ideas: Eleanor helps Laphicet make a present for Velvet (or they outright collaborate on it), or Eleanor has a moment when she realizes just how much the whole party grew on her and how much she enjoys being with them..

Rokurou Rangetsu

I would love any look at Rokuro’s life. I love how it is slowly revealed that he was a very terrible human being, that it is no wonder that he turned into a deamon as a result. The pre-canon look at his life in Rangetsu family and how he turned into a daemon would be great (bonus points for including his mom if you decide on this). As would be his perspective on canon events with some more interactions with any party members. Or post-canon and Rokuro’s journey in search of stronger and stronger foes, during which he meets lots of colorful foes.

Velvet Crowe

Velvet Crowe is one of the most enjoyable Tales protagonist I have witnessed yet. She’s a complicated mess of emotions and trauma, barely held together by her drive for vengeance. Seeing her struggle with all the tragedy, while desperately pushing forward, and waiting to see whether she cracks under the pressure of it all or not was much more interesting than standard Tales hero journey.

I would enjoy an introspective piece for her, since she hides so much of her emotions. That being said, Velvet interacting with other party members is fun too! Whether it be her being demonic bros with Rokuro, butting heads with Eleanor or not having patience for Magilou’s antics, Velvet has an interesting relationship with all of them and I would be happy to see any of those connections explored.

Additional info

I would be pretty okay with the AUs, both Canon Divergence and setting changes. In case of canon divergence, please, just don’t save Velvet with deus ex machina. I’m not opposed to her being saved, but please build that plotline properly. The game sets her demise very strongly throughout the whole game and I need to be properly convinced that there is a chance for her to live through this without becoming a miserable malevolence factory. This is not a problem in different setting AUs.

As for the ships. I do ship Elanor and Velvet, so if that’s you jam I would be happy to see them getting together or just enjoying being together. They have very interesting dynamics throughout the game and I would love to see some more romance in it. I would also be okay with more risque content for this ship.

TALES OF XILLIA

Who loves Tales series more with each new game they play, this gal over here. Also, I’m currently playing Xillia 2 and while I’ve gone through most of the game, I may not be able to finish it before this exchange ends due to the real world responsibilities. So while referencing Xillia 2 would be okay with me, please avoid endgame spoilers for it.

As previously you don’t have to include all of the requested characters.

Jude Mathis

Jude is one of my favourite protagonist for being just plain relatable. I love how he develops through the story and how much his issues rule over his decision before he gets his act together.

I would really love a look at Jude’s life before the game. I find his relationship with his parents very interesting and would love to see it explored more deeply. How did he go about applying to Talim and how his parents reacted? What about Leia? How did Jude manage in Talim?

I’m also very okay with a more indepth look at his journey. What were his feelings at the beginning? How did he feel revisiting his hometown and having to face his parents to be able to help Milla? Any and all snippets from this time are fine by me.

Elize Lutus

The best child character in video games I’ve seen in a long time. I would love to see more of her adventures and how she learns to open up to other people.

I probably would love a post-canon story the most with Elize trying to fit into a normal school. I would love to get a glimps at her attempts to make new friends and not appear to be too weird. I would especially love if Elize and her friends ended up getting into some sort of trouble. Maybe they decided to investigate some rumours and run into a monster or bandits and Elize saves the day with things she learned while travelling with the team. Bonus points if the knowledge from her travels is very questionable.

Just like with Jude, I would also be very open to some insights into her feelings during the plot of the game. Especially, how she slowly starts opening up to others after joining the party.

Additional info

I’m okay with AUs, both canon divergence and setting changes. Given that Xillia 2 enables any and all divergences you really, really shouldn’t hold back in that regard. On that note I would be very partial to any member of Chimeriad surviving, because they all deserved better. For setting changes I don’t have any specific.

I’m okay with ships: Jude/Alvin, Jude/Milla, an OT3 involving all of them, Leia/Agria and Gaius/Wingul.

FATE/EXTELLA

I will be honest. I have a lot of complaints about the characterization of some of the characters and the plot of this game, it gave me one thing I really love and damn do I want it.

Jeanne d'arc | Ruler (Fate/Extella) & Gilgamesh (Fate/Extella)

The interactions between Jeanne and Gilgamesh gave me life, watered my crops and made me laugh a lot. Those two get along in that they reinterpret each other’s words completely whenever they interact. It’s incredible.

I love the grudging respect they have for each other, because while they both heavily don’t approve of each other’s worldview and lifestyles, they can’t dismiss the will and dedication the other has.

Additional info

I’m okay with AUs and canon divergences. The subscenarios for both of them were painfully short in the game, so I would definitely be up if you expanded on them or just had some wacky adventures involving both of them. Just please don’t include Titan!Altera, Charlot!Tamamo or Elizabeth acting like she did in that game. I still have trauma from their characterization. Servant!Altera, and Elizabeth&Tamamo with characterization from Extra or Grand Order will be very okay. If you really need one of those characters with the characterization from this game, then I understand, but please, don’t linger on the scene where that happens. Just get it done quickly.

As I said, I’m not a big fan of Extella’s plot, so if you want to throw it all away and just have fun with the characters I will definitely approve. Gilgamesh and Jeanne meeting during a Grail War could be interesting. As well as, some Grand Order shenanigans if you played that game.

If you want to just have fun with their characters without the whole Servant stuff then, I’m also very open to it. The idea of Jeanne and Gilgamesh as childhood friends who are now forced to share a flat as students is an idea that I absolutely love, because they would find those arrangements very challenging and definitely have a lot of complaints about each others’ lifestyles.

I will limit myself to the ships involving the people I requested, which means absolutely no ships for Jeanne. For Gilgamesh I’m okay with shipping him with both Enkidu and Kirei, but well, we all know how he is, so feel free to have him sleeping around if it fits your fic.

MAHOU SHOUJO ORE

Yamo Konami

I found Konami’s misadventures very amusing. I love how completely mismatched his position and goals are. I would love to see more of his shenanigans, whether it be him making terrible management decision during the canon or him “repenting” after the canon. Maybe he attempts to become a mascot, because what better way is there to express his passion for magical girls? I also wouldn’t mind a pre-canon look on how he came to love magical girls as much as does.

All ships are crazy in this series so I’m okay with whatever direction you want to spin them, as long as you acknowledge the canon crushes the characters have. By which I mean, if the character has a canon crush make sure to do some build up so that it doesn’t feel strange if they find a new object of affection.

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servingliesarch · 7 years ago

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there are some people who probably think i’m exaggerating when it comes to how badly merlin felt, and how much he lost, and i know there are, i got questions about it, so let me provide you with a list of what merlin life was like and why he fell into a pit of despair even tho being strong enough to keep his shit together.

born into a world where his sole existence was a crime, had to hide who he was from day one, never knew his father or even who he was, fearing he might be a monster because there was no one like him

born into poverty even though without great purge, though most likely be never born, he’d also be titled accordingly and respected for his station and level of power

had to leave his home at eighteen, sent by his mother into the heart of a kingdom ruled by a man who committed a genocide on his people

was appointed a manservant to his son, who though they did develop a very important relationship eventually and were meant to change things, was a mean bitch to him for a significant time they spent together

had to fight countless monsters, kill people, fight battles, drink poisons, get beat up, saving everyone’s lives countless of times but never getting any thanks or recognition for it

while also having zero friends who knew the truth about him in the castle

he lost his childhood friend will early on, to a pointless death he probably blamed himself for

was constantly forced to make life and death decisions, choices affecting the grand scheme of things without any support and no recognition for it whatsoever

had to constantly live a lie because otherwise he would be sentenced to death and executed, and even if he wanted to tell people, people who were his mentors constantly told him to shove it.

legit died a bunch of times and went back to life. would have been dead at eighteen if he wasn’t immortal.

met freya, whom he was willing to love, even run away with, who could understand him and knew the truth about him, got killed almost immediately after.

was subjected to believe morgana, who was his friend, would turn bad and betrayed them, so he had to poison her.

learned the truth about his father, got to know him a day before he died and had to save the day once again without knowing it, using his new dragonlord powers.

made a new friend, gwaine, who was this great person but of course he had to be sent away bc Uther i guess.

still zero recogniton, zero thanks. a lot of being killed or hurt or whatever it is.

morgana was in camelot then and he knew she was going to hurt them all but there was nothing he could do.

got legit sat down at arthur’s right hand, but you know, only like when no one sees because it makes sense that arthur who values his friends no matter who they are, elevating them to have a voice and have his back, knighting even strangers, marrying gwen, would not do shit about his closest friend merlin, whom he sat at his right hand.

you’d think things were getting better and merlin had friends finally, and lancelot was there where he deserved. oh right now, because then dorocha happened, and he died, and then lancelot went and died in arthur’s place, and they didn’t even have a body to bury it.

every time he hopes arthur might see magic in different light, shit happens and backtracks him like ?? so hopeful he will see that if merlin as dragoon saves uther even tho fuck should be dead, but morgana’s thing backfires, so he loses hope rly.

naturally one takes a hint and can no longer tell anyone his secret. do your friends notice you become distant and alienated tho? no. fuck character development.

oh, arthur’s uncle is a traitor in love with morgana who almost got gaius killed and no one would listen to you? yeah. that happened. it was great.

stabbed more times. died more times as well. zero recognition, arthur still refuses to listen or acknowledge most of the time. keeps saving the world, and it gets a bunch of people killed by him.

legit zero friends at this point when you’re being reasonable.

so like, he saves the last great dragon egg, helps it be born, hopes for once that dragons will not go extinct, but then kilgharrah fails to care for it, and dragon betrays them siding with morgana which could be okay if aithusa didn’t get crippled and wouldn’t live for like five seconds later.

murders arthur’s uncle but that one felt good for once.

his friends? knights, a queen. merlin? a servant. mordred, who was a druid and arthur met? a knight. the round table? is there but merlin stands at the back still. so what arthur listens to him the most, he has zero Real Voice.

is hardened, burdened, there isn’t much left of that young boy from season one in season five. legit depressed when you look at the signs.

and shit is going down so all of this destiny is back on him, with looming war and arthur dying, and morgana, and mordred there who will kill arthur, having more respect than merlin, and it’s all really fucking hard.

uther’s ghost comes back to haunt them and like....... i guess at least he got to like, tell him off so it’s not as bad.

gwen gets possessed, a bunch of people die including people he grew to care about because of morgana’s doing, plus fearing he might lose gwen after all. saves her tho, but still zero thanks.

merlin’s still extremely alienated from everyone tho.

they lose elyan, who’s gwen’s brother and who was always so kind to merlin.

almost dies again, is gifted a prophecy from his followers he literally never meets bc why let merlin have friends. so, arthur will die and war is neigh. great.

they lose mordred, who tells morgana what he is, and it wouldn’t have happened if perhaps merlin actually had a real voice but i guess not.

so anyway, the war comes, merlin seemingly loses his magic, sees his friend gwaine for the last time and rly misses a significant part of the battle in which arthur is mortally wounded. but at least he gets back his magic, tho morgana did him dirty there.

so anyway, wins that war, finds arthur, arthur’s stabbed, merlin after ten fucking years reveals his secret.

takes two days to get over it and the entire arc of this episode deserved to be more than just on episode for both of their sakes since arthur was dying.

merlin has to kill morgana for good and it’s terrible. he blames himself for her.

arthur dies anyway, and like why does he even have all of this magic.

has to give him a funeral and send the only weapon that can kill him away as it is his duty, all the way to avalon.

finds out gwaine is dead too which is just the worst blow really.

kilgharrah is also seen for the last time, because he’s old and has to die so it’s just a lot of loss all around.

and they achieved nothing but the dragon makes it like they did, which they didn’t, and then doesn’t even rly warn him he’s not gonna die, tho he probably already figured it out. like give him something solid, not like a maybe thing that MAY happen but who knows, and when ?? WHO KNOWS

then obvs other things happen, but the truth is merlin stops aging, can’t die, but everyone else do, so he’s rly just subjected to an eternity of watching everyone he’s ever known die, everything he’s ever known disappear and he’s alone forever, no dragons, disappearing magic, the last of his kind.

#( meta. )#it's not even all of it but lmao #aNYWAY #♦ ┆ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ﹠ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀ ғᴏᴏʟ ( character study. )#rant tw

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